What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

We've talked a lot about picky eating on the podcast but if you're looking less for advice and more for 'how does it all turn out?' then this is the episode for you! This week Kristina asks, "I was listening to an episode where Margaret described her extremly picky son and the anxiety she felt. She was basically describing my daughter. That episode is from 2016 so I'm curious does anyone know if h...

Kate Swenson is a mom to four kids, a wife, and a proud Minnesotan. She regularly writes and creates videos about her life as a mother and an autism advocate for her website "Finding Cooper's Voice," a living, thriving community of people who not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Kate's book Forever Boy: A Mother'...

Gloria DeGaetano, parenting expert and founder of the Parent Coaching Institute, recently wrote: "There's almost not a word to express the stress parents are under right now. 'Overwhelmed' doesn't cut it. It's beyond anything we've ever experienced." War in Ukraine. Shootings in grade schools. Inflation rates way up. Covid rates way up. This really is a strange and scary moment for all of us, and...

A listener wrote: I am in a mom funk. I always wanted to be a mom, but I underestimated the amount of work and sacrifice it takes to be a mom. I’m exhausted. I feel like I never get a chance to catch my breath and be ready to be a mom the next morning when my kids wake up, and I spend most of the day with my kids just trying to make it to bedtime. My kids are seven and four, and I really thought t...

Dr. Lynyetta Willis is a psychologist and family empowerment coach who helps smart, successful women (and their families) stop the unhelpful patterns that keep them stuck, so they can create more joy in their parenting or partnerships. In this "Best Of" re-release, Dr. Willis tells us what it means to live in "stable misery." We discuss her framework for changing those patterns and finding more jo...

"Mom rage" is a thing, and it feels shameful because it feels so far from where we are supposed to be as mothers and as women. Writer Anne Lamott called it "a closely guarded secret, as if the myth of maternal bliss is so sacrosanct that we can't even admit these feelings to ourselves." But it's more universal than we admit, and its triggers more predictable. There are also practical ways we can a...

This episode was first recorded in July 2021, before the recent mass shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde, not to mention the ongoing horrors of war in Ukraine. We hope it might be useful for a relisten right now, as many of us struggle with what to tell our kids, how much, and when. If we don't give the kids any context, some older kid in the cafeteria might become their primary source of (mis)informa...

What makes us introverts or extroverts– and why do so many of us choose our total opposites for our parenting partners? In this episode we talk about the myths of introverts and extroverts, why opposites attract, and how to parent kids who are also your total opposites. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: The ways that introverts and extroverts solve problems How they navigate being the opp...

A listener posted this on our Facebook page: What is up with my 5-year-old? All of a sudden she is talking back, yelling at the top of her lungs, not listening, kicking and screaming, throwing tantrums, throwing things at me, and giving me teenager vibes. (I do not allow any of this behavior in my house.) I’m at a loss for what to do. Is this boundary-seeking behavior? Is something happening at sc...

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives u...

We asked you, our listeners, what unwelcome surprises you've experienced in your parenting journey, and boy, did you deliver! From bodily functions to keeping kids' clothes on to teaching them how to sit in a chair for the hundredth time, we collectively wonder how the human race has survived so long--and whether or not ants have lungs. Here are links to the WFH episodes we mentioned: Why Are Our...

One of our listeners asked: How do you navigate responding to family members who demand hugs and kisses from kids? My husband’s family is full of huggy-kissy people. When leaving after a visit, my in-laws lay it on hard with their requests (which feel more like demands) for my 3-year-old to give them a goodbye hug and kiss. Sometimes she doesn't want to, and if she doesn't want to, I don’t force h...

Anxiety expert Lynn Lyons and co-host Robin Hutson created the podcast FLUSTERCLUX to help anxious kids and anxious families, which are usually one and the same. Lynn Lyons has trained hundreds of teachers, school nurses, counselors and parents about managing anxiety. In this episode, Lynn, Robin, and Amy discuss: Why reassurance doesn't always placate kids' anxieties Why anxiety craves certainty–...

As Margaret and Amy both deal with Covid in their households, they wonder how they ever thought it was over and when the "new normal" will feel truly normal, if ever. They give both optimistic and realistic assessments of the future as they try to imagine one that's forever changed, but also better than before. And they both agree that you should cheer on everyone who is running the New York City...

A listener asks: I had my first child (and only child, so far) 18 months ago. It was a really rough experience for me and my husband: traumatic birth, intense breastfeeding struggles, very colicky baby that really did not sleep much, no support due to COVID, and I had PPD. My husband and I are really only just starting to feel sort of okay again in the last few months. Here's my issue. Within the...

KC Davis is the creator of the mental health platform Struggle Care, where she shares a revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. She is a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and advocate for mental health and recovery. Her new book is How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning a...

This week we're revisiting one of our all-time favorite episodes, in which we review listener grudges, large and small, and deciding once and for all if those listeners should let it go, or no. Letting it go doesn't mean you're wrong to be annoyed. Sometimes you are totally right and you STILL have to let it go. And sometimes nursing a tiny bonsai grievance for a decade is sort of fun... but that...

Iris Chen was raised in the "tiger parenting" model, and began her parenting journey using similarly authoritarian and strict tactics– until she considered whether there might be another path, an approach to parenting that was rooted in partnership rather than in power. So Iris founded the "Untigering" movement, exploring a more peaceful parenting approach, and wrote the book "Untigering: Peaceful...

In this bonus episode, Amy and Margaret discuss what they read, watch, and listen to between recording episodes of "What Fresh Hell." It involves stuffy upper class drawing rooms, brushes with death, and being "22." What We're Watching "The Thing About Pam" on Peacock Michael Clayton "Bridgerton" on Netflix "Dopesick" on Hulu "Sanditon" on PBS Masterpiece (Erica's pick!) "Gilded Age" on HBO (Sarah...

Who makes the parenting rules? And how bendable are they? From picky eaters to sleep routines to playing outside, we all have to navigate the line between what we supposedly should and shouldn't allow as parents. But sometimes it's okay to break the rules if it works for you and your family. Amy and Margaret dive into the details in this listener-driven episode. In this episode, Margaret and Amy d...

The discomfort and distress of a child experiencing separation anxiety can be hard to hear. The best responses are consistency and a heavy dose of reassurance. A listener recently posted in our Facebook group: My just-turned-4 year old has started experiencing separation anxiety both when going to preschool and when staying home with our regular babysitter . (My husband and I both work from home a...

Mary Laura Philpott is the author of the national bestseller I MISS YOU WHEN I BLINK, and the brand-new memoir BOMB SHELTER: LOVE, TIME, AND OTHER EXPLOSIVES, which is out now. You can also find her writing in publications including the Atlantic, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Real Simple. Mary Laura's moving memoir touches on why parenting is a paradox, her own experiences as a pare...

Why does it feel like I do all the work around here? Why can't my partner take on a little more? Why does a dad get to go on Good Morning America for DOING HIS DAUGHTER'S HAIR TWICE A WEEK?? There is evidence (statistical evidence, not just tears and bloodshed evidence) that having kids reduces marital harmony. And for a woman, the birth of a child often means taking on a second shift while her pa...

A listener posted on our Facebook page: "I’m wondering if any other moms on here have been diagnosed with breast cancer? I was just diagnosed and am terrified. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday to get more information, but I am just looking for advice from someone who has been there on how to discuss this with my kids." Margaret talks about her own experience with her mother's breast cance...

Anxiety is a natural response to stress. Sometimes it’s even useful, like when it alerts us to danger. But when anxiety grips our children, they often don’t (can’t) explain how they’re feeling, and their inner turmoil can take over. In this episode we discuss: coping strategies for all ages and stages how anxiety in children can be easy to miss the negative behaviors anxious kids might exhibit  wh...