What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

What are the signs that kids no longer want to share a room, and when do the cons of a shared space outweigh the pros? Amy cites a study or two to help a mom decide what's best for her two boys. Emily asks: How do I know when the right time is for my two boys (ages 7 and 8) to stop sharing a room? Are there signs I should be looking for? For context, the boys have shared a room since they were 1 a...

What "scams" about motherhood have we become subject to without really questioning them? What would happen if we stopped subscribing to these ideas? Raena Boston, founder of the Working Momtras, discusses ways to counteract the sexism inherent in parenting, particularly mothering, and how to make the personal political. Raena is a mom of three, co-founder of the nonprofit Chamber of Mothers, and a...

It's July bonus episode time! We opened up the floor for our listeners to ask us anything, and it turns out we're still learning things about each other after all these years. Topics include: The best parenting book Amy has ever read Pajama grams Billy Joel's and Bill Clinton's dogs To listen to the full episode, sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast. You get all episodes ad-free, pl...

What if we didn't let other people's judgments change our game plans—as women, as mothers, and as humans? We're wired to pay attention to what other people think. There's a reason those judgments can be painful. Are there ways we can break free and care less? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss... How our innate need to belong (and not ostracized) is hard-wired The "behavioral inhibition syst...

How do you let your child experience natural consequences for their slowpoke actions—without going insane yourself? Listener Katie asks: "My 11-year-old has trouble meeting deadlines we set for her (running to catch the bus, not getting to bed by her bedtime). When my husband and I try to help her stay on track she talks back or purposefully stalls more! I don’t know how to not get triggered by th...

Why shouldn't you tell people your baby name ideas before the baby comes? What happens when the early mornings with a toddler clash with the late-night schedules of comedy clubs? Comedian Hari Kondabolu, whose new comedy special "Vacation Baby" is available for streaming on YouTube, discusses how parenting has changed his comedy— and the unexpected pleasures, amidst the struggles, of parenting dur...

It often becomes clear to us where our boundaries should have been set only after those lines have been crossed and left far behind. But whether it's with overbearing extended family members or partners who leave socks on the floor, how do we create effective boundaries? Especially after it's been established that we're not very good at it, and especially in a world that doesn't very much like wom...

Tired of buying new everything when your kid inevitably misplaces it? It's natural for kids to be a little disorganized, but if your kid is losing things left and right, there are some simple steps you can take. A member of our Facebook group asked:  Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He lost three sweatshirts in the two months he was in in-person school, a tennis racqu...

What does it really take to be a public school teacher in America? Alexandra Robbins, author of "THE TEACHERS: A Year Inside America's Most Vulnerable, Important Profession," illuminates how today's teachers battle against school shootings, shrinking budgets, irate parents and politicians, and the educational system itself. Alexandra Robbins is an award-winning investigative reporter who has writt...

How do we raise healthy, loving, polite, and appreciative teens? Is it humanly possible? From remaining "passively available" to taking our adolescents' seemingly trivial problems seriously, our listeners had great advice for bringing up teenagers. Amy and Margaret discuss: The blessing of nerd-dom How to keep your face in check when talking to your teen Why it's important to let your teen fail so...

How do we get our kids to do things the FIRST time they're asked, not the millionth time? Is it even possible? A listener from our FB group asks: "You have often given the advice from the dog-training world not to repeat yourself over and over again, because you are teaching your kids they only have to respond to the 3rd, 7th, or 100th time you ask. My question is: what do I do instead? Say I tell...

When we're going through difficult seasons in our lives—illness, death, divorce, tragedy—it feels easier to protect our kids by leaving them out of the conversation. Sara Olsher, founder of Mighty + Bright, says kids don't miss a thing—and that we're missing the opportunity during such times to help our children learn resilience. Sara founded Mighty + Bright after guiding her child through her own...

What does it mean to have a midlife crisis? What exactly counts as "midlife," and (yikes) are we already in it? Can we avoid the disenchantment and the rash decision-making that stereotypically accompany such times in our lives? A listener in our Facebook group asked: "Who has been thru their midlife crisis and how did you deal? Turning 40 next week has me feeling like I've wasted my life. Can I g...

When our children have a brush with danger, we moms love to punish ourselves for what might have happened. So does society at large. Amy tells a listener how to complete her trauma response and move on from a stressful event. A listener on Instagram asked: "How do I move past the mom guilt? I'm the mother to an 18-month-old that loves dogs. We have a rescue. I didn't grow up with dogs. We went for...

Why do we as women get accused of too much or too little ambition, but never the right amount? And why are mothers expected to let go of all nonfamilial ambitions once they become parents? Rainesford Stauffer, author of the new book “All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive," started by completely reconsidering the role of ambition in her own life. In this book, she invites...

Why don't vacations feel like vacations for moms? Could it be all the prepping, packing, and traveling, with the additional pressure to make memories that will last a lifetime for our little ones? Here's how to make vacations truly fun and relaxing for the whole family. In this episode we discuss the wisdom of "taking turns being tired" why "going with the flow" is not an additive stance to vacati...

How do we help our children transition from pampered baby of the family to middle child? Is the resulting misbehavior going to go on forever? Someone in our Facebook group asked: "My five-year-old became a middle child a few months ago. He is so sweet and loving to his new little sister, but has been acting out: spitting, running around, saying bad things, hitting another kid in his pre-K class. H...

What do we do when we don't fit the "perfect mom" mold? Are we still good mothers even if we don't? Jamilah Mapp and Erica Dickerson are the co-hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, and the authors of the new book "A Good Mom's Guide to Bad Choices." In this interview Jamilah, Erica, and Margaret discuss: Being a single mother Breaking parenting patterns What authentic parenting looks like...

From being able to sleep anywhere to pulling loose teeth to staying calm in a crisis, our listeners are great at all kinds of things when it comes to being parents. Amy and Margaret discuss: Lowered expectations Self-care for its own sake Margaret's Fran Drescher moments Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast wo...

Handicrafts? Puzzles? Competitive pickleball? Amy and Margaret discuss hobbies old and new, high-maintenance and low. Amy and Margaret discuss: S&H Green Stamps Pickleball injuries The Book of Meg To hear the rest of the episode, sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast, where you can get all episodes ad-free as well! Supporting Cast works right where you already listen. Go to whatfresh...

What should we do when other people, relatives OR strangers, discipline our kids in front of us? Let it go, or intervene? Pamela recently wrote us to say: I'd love to hear your thoughts on handling relatives (or even strangers!) that try to discipline your kids. I recently had family in town and my six-year-old was given quite a few lectures on MINOR behaviors by a relative that has no children of...

How do we untangle ourselves from technology? We give ourselves a hard time for not being able to put our screens down, but the platforms we use are designed to be addictive. It's not our fault. Gaia Bernstein's new book: Unwired: Gaining Control Over Addictive Technologies shatters the illusion that we can control how much time we spend on our screens by the force of willpower, timers, or yelling...

Hooray, summer is finally here! No more French quizzes or spirit days to dress for last-minute! So now what? Million-dollar summer camps? Kicking our kids outside from sunup to sundown so they don't drive us crazy? Here's how to give everyone, including yourself, a sane summer that won't send you into bankruptcy. Margaret and Amy discuss: Why summer light affects our mood the Farmer's Almanac pred...

What do we do when our kids ask us to explain scary things like natural disasters, accidents, and bad news? A listener in our Facebook group asks: "My 5yo is afraid of naturally occurring phenomena. Natural disasters like floods, tornadoes, hurricanes. I try to explain these things very matter-of-factly but she would continue with questions for days. “Do we get tornadoes?” “Would a flood come to o...

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She's the host of "Good Inside With Dr. Becky," named by Apple Podcasts as one of the best podcasts of 2021. She also empowers more than a million parents following her on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside.  Dr. Becky specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translat...