What Do You Mean By That?

Depending on who you are and where you get your news from, you may be seeing a completely separate version of the news from your neighbor down the street, your aunt in another state, or your coworker who only gets his news from a specific social media platform. Maybe everyone around you gets the same news you do. But you also know that there is a very different version of reality out there, that m...

This is Sara, and I remember the time 20 years ago when I got schooled by a psychoanalyst.  It must have been the fall, because I was supremely agitated that I was having to write, design, and send holiday cards out to a huge list of people all by myself, without the help of my fiancé.  If you know me, you know that cards were a staple of my winter growing up, with cards from my parents' friends s...

One of the ways that we believe we can be better humans is to actually listen to each other - not just nod along when we watch people's mouths move, or wait impatiently for someone to finish their thought before we can jump in and say what we've been dying to say - but actually listen to what they're saying, take a moment to reflect on that, and respond. Perhaps you ask a clarifying question, perh...

We have a big announcement!  We have rebranded and are now known as the podcast, What Do You Mean By That?    If you've listened to our former show, Dear White Women , you know that What do you mean by that? has been one of our favorite questions to use to interrupt people in a healthy way, spur on conversation, and cue ourselves to listen. Our purpose has always been to help our society realize t...

Raise your hand if you've been to therapy before.  My first time, if I'm remembering correctly, is a few months after my Dad died when I was in my mid-twenties, and my college roommate set me up with her aunt, who was a renowned psychoanalyst.  She also happened to be Asian. Now that it's been decades and I've had so many more experiences with so many more therapists, all of whom have been white,...

Picture a successful business leader, and experience says you're most likely to be picturing a white male right now.  Similarly, the realm of business books has been dominated by white males for so, so long - which is why we find it incredibly refreshing to talk with someone who does NOT fit that mold and has an unforgettable presence all the same.   What to listen for:   What made Lorraine K Lee...

By the time a human is six years old, they're usually in formal schooling with wide-open minds, ready to learn.  You're learning that you can't bring peanut butter in because some classmates might be allergic to peanuts (which shows you how to be a considerate citizen); you're learning that you can't call Suzie an idiot (because words have power); that baking soda and vinegar can propel that paper...

Even if you're not a lawyer, the challenge that this administration is mounting to the rule of law affects you, too. When the president challenges the judiciary, when we as a country go after lawyers simply for doing their actual jobs, it hurts all of us.  What's happening now is weakening our judicial branch and centering power in the executive branch. Maybe you've heard the term "unitary executi...

Between the time when we recorded this episode and this introduction, so many of our learning institutions, including the Department of Education and the Institute of Museum and Library Services, are being systematically or haphazardly dismantled at the whim of our current President(s). This may send us into a spiral of despair - or, may even freeze us in place and render us unable to act.   But …...

Gaslighting.  Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their sanity, memories, or perception of reality.  Sounds horrible right?  An example of this: a person or institution may say that an activist campaigning for change is irrational or "crazy," or they may deny biases if someone confronts them about microaggressions. Nobody wants to be gas...

In the United States, there are an estimated 1.6 million people who identify as transgender, which is about 0.6% of the population ages 13 and older.  It's about the equivalent of the population of Phoenix, Arizona; it's just about how many people said on the US Census in 2021 that they are Japanese.  Of course this population matters – AND, it's not a large percentage of our American population. ...

We need to be honest about our nation's history - that we've always been a divided nation - if we're going to be able to strengthen and maximize the full power and potential of our nation. What's that nation we want to move towards? One dedicated to the proposition of equality. That's the clear, fresh vision that our guest today, Steve Phillips, writes about in his recent article in The Nation - a...

Since every day since Trump's second inauguration has likely brought a fresh onslaught of possibilities that range from the incomprehensibly absurd to those that actively promote authoritarianism and slash away at our fundamental rights, it's also important to cut through the noise and figure out: what does this mean for us?   Today, we're touching on some areas that we think WILL be affected, esp...

We've arrived in 2025, and assuming President-Elect Trump is inaugurated, this means he will be the first president to take office convicted of felony crimes.  And since we know that an organization's tone is often set by its leadership, we can't help wondering: how will we see Trump's leadership impact the culture of the United States, and how will this play out in our collective futures?   Let's...

Tomorrow, we'll be wishing our loved ones "akemashite omedetou gozaimasu" - or, Happy New Year, in Japanese.  If you're a long-time listener, you know that DEI work (or whatever we'll be calling it going forward) is personal to us.  We're both the daughters of a Japanese immigrant parent and a white American parent each; the ideas of multiculturalism and difference are embedded in our DNA, and we...

Today's episode seems to be addressing this question: does politics show up in our everyday lives? Maybe even in our most intimate relationships?   And while a lot of folks may be saying politics doesn't impact me, I don't do politics… we think the actual answer for most of us in this country is a resounding YES (in fact, we've recorded whole episodes and written whole book chapters on this very t...

There are SO many insightful conversations and incredible stories we've shared on this show, and this one was yet another example of one where we went in thinking one thing, and came out thinking another.  Because we'll be talking with an incredible advocate about ableism and disabilities - a label that, if we aren't already impacted by it, is a label that - statistically speaking - we may all one...

We've had a lot of focus on this show leading into Election 2024 about the state of the country and the deep divides that we're seeing in society.  We're grateful to and for everyone who worked to ensure that democracy worked in early November. AND, given the election results, we know that these divides still exist and have the ability to grow even deeper.    What can we do about that? One step th...

This is a short episode – about why we vote, and why we hold onto hope today and going forward – and it may be the episode that you need to hear today. If you've already voted: THANK YOU.  If you haven't voted yet, pause this and go do that.  Spread the word.  Please VOTE.  

When we first recorded this episode, we were at the end of the Trump presidency, when we still had a legal right to abortion in this country. Roe v. Wade was still the law of the land, and women had access to safe abortion options in many states. Now, on the eve of the 2024 Presidential elections, abortion is on the ballot in a post-Dobbs world, where we have women dying because they cannot get le...

Trump lies repeatedly.  He's shown us who he is.  He'll continue to try distancing himself from Project 2025 because it's come under fire in public and he's very image-savvy, but be very, very clear - this is his policy agenda outline.  Listen to more of Trump's policies in his own words, along with more on Project 2025, in this episode. And if you want to do more, consider doing these things:  Re...

You know how we both feel about the phrase "oh, stop being so political" for the simple reason that politics IS personal.  Political choices impact most things you do on the daily, and often involve the things you care about the most for your community.   That's why, today, we wanted to speak to someone who may not look like who you think of when you think "politician" - or at least, not until VP...

Trump lies repeatedly.  He's shown us who he is.  He'll continue to try distancing himself from Project 2025 because it's come under fire in public and he's very image-savvy, but be very, very clear - this is his policy agenda outline.  Listen to more of Trump's policies in his own words, along with more on Project 2025, in this episode. And if you want to do more, consider doing these things:  Re...

What comes to your mind when you picture someone who's resilient?  Usually, we hear that it's one person who's faced a setback, and they remain hopeful and willing to work through the challenges to return to some sort of life they had before. Maybe you've heard the phrase "pick themselves up by their bootstraps" to describe this type of person. We know we have. But that doesn't always work, as we...

Most of us say we'd speak up and do the right thing - that we'd not conform to horrible societal standards.  We hear that, for example, when people speak about what happened during World War II in Europe. Would you have been part of the Resistance, knowing that the risk included not only social shunning but indeed death? But we also hear that so many of you have a hard time speaking up when it com...