We're Too Literary

Imagine a team of stout-hearted dwarves traversing alien planets, mining precious resources, and battling hordes of monstrous creatures—all with a film crew in tow trying to capture their every harrowing and hilarious misadventure. That's the wild nugget of this episode's riff session, which dives into the cavernous depths of a potential "Deep Rock Galactic" TV adaptation – laughs, thrills, and sp...

In a world where Deadpool confidently claims his position as the "Marvel Jesus," we can't help but chuckle at the audacity. This episode unpacks every quip, jab, and revelation from the newly dropped trailer for "Deadpool and Wolverine," leaving us pondering the implications of Deadpool's potential impact on the Marvel Cinematic Universe. From the humorous whiplash-inducing edits to Deadpool's bir...

Get ready to jump into the animated world of everyone's favorite Italian plumber brothers, Mario and Luigi, as we review the highly anticipated 2023 release of The Super Mario Bros. Movie! Will the animated film from Illumination finally give us the Mario Bros. experience we've been waiting for, or will it fall into the same pit as its notorious predecessor from the 90s? Join us as we discuss the...

Welcome back to We're Too Literary! This week we dive deep into the cinematic dumpster fire that is the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Join us as we try to make sense of the absurd plot, cringe at the terrible acting, and wonder how Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo managed to keep straight faces throughout filming. Will we find any redeeming qualities in this hot mess? Probably not, but at least we'l...

I can't believe we did it. We watched the last six episodes of this...show. It's still not Scooby-Doo. It's still probably not supposed to be. They finally offered a way to spin having Scooby-Doo be introduced to the show possibly. But at this point, we are pretty convinced they're trying to be an outlandish Mystery Gang a la Interdimensional Cable from Rick & Morty. Join us as we dive deep fo...

We did it. We watched the first four episodes of this...show. It's not Scooby-Doo. It's probably not supposed to be. But we're gonna make it an actual Scooby-Doo show. Join us as we discuss how we would re-write this whole series in a way feels true to the dynamic of the original Mystery Gang. DISCLAIMER: We're Too Literary will be full of spoilers about whatever media we discuss. This series is i...

Fifteen years after becoming one of the natives, Jake Sully has settled in the suburbs with his wife and kids, only to find the idyllic life weighing him down. In his moments of solitude, he finds himself wild with flights of passion for a world he doesn’t know and a life he has never lived. But these are mere moments before the monochromatic prism that is his life brings him back to reality… Unti...

Convenient twin death! Space Cats! Watch as John Smith Jake Sully travels to Pandora to take his twin brother’s place to woo Pocahontas Neytiri and save the Na’vi from the colonizers! All this AND MORE! In James Cameron’s Avatar! DISCLAIMER: We're Too Literary will be full of spoilers about whatever media we discuss. This series is intended to discuss all aspects of the media we're covering each w...

This month we dive into a disaster of a Christmas movie called 'Fatman.' From the ridiculous plotline of a mobster-like child hiring a hitman to kill Santa Claus, to the absurd writing that claimed this movie was a dark comedy and also made the hitman seem like the good guy until the very end, we have a lot to say about this movie. So grab some cookies and milk (or a bottle of your favorite alcoho...

In 2600 B.C. the hierarchy of the DC Universe changed. In 2022 it changed again… Maybe? Intergang makes their explosive debut on screen with technology and weapons that rivals nations. It’s only a matter of time before they’re able to integrate kryptonite into their weaponry. Wait, no… that’d make more sense. Watch as Dwayne Johnson explodes onto the scene (and through several walls because it’s f...

Captain Pete Mitchell has spent his career chasing the edge and running from responsibilities. Now, at the verge of being retired, his old friend Iceman calls him in for one more mission that only Maverick is uniquely equipped to handle. Of fucking course. Let’s take flight! Jaw-dropping visuals keep you immersed in the action as you watch the broad strokes of Top Gun play out again. DISCLAIMER: W...

The incredible true* story of one of the greatest musical artists of our generation! Follow along as we delve into the details and share with you some of our favorite rumors and theories from the mysterious life of Al Yankovic. *[REDACTED] DISCLAIMER: We're Too Literary will be full of spoilers about whatever media we discuss. This series is intended to discuss all aspects of the media we're cover...

We've all had bad nights but Miles takes home the trophy on this one! Some cheap beer and some zingers about a troll’s mother leaves him with a nasty hangover and some pistols bolted on! No big deal, we've all been there. Now he's in for the fight of his life as he tries to climb the SKIZM leaderboards. Join us this week as we dive into Guns Akimbo! A movie starring Daniel Radcliffe and Samara Wea...

Come little writers We'll take thee away Into a land of enchantment Where we'll consume your souls and use them to feed our creativity that will last for an eternity! Muahahaha! Just kidding! Hang out with us this week on another exciting episode of We're Too Literary. If you couldn't tell by the parody song, we're discussing Hocus Pocus 2 this week. Just in time for All Hollow's Eve! We hope you...

When your Evil Stepmother™️ is keeping you down, Ted has your back! A little compassion, a little kindness, and this [redacted] will light your path and your enemies with his patent-pending hands of light. Watch along as our fearless Heroine fumbles to save the day and earns herself the titular Bloodstone so that she can order the Man Holding a Cane to clean up her mess. No, seriously, nobody...

When the stakes couldn’t be higher, YOU need Arasaka’s patent-pending Cyberskeleton! For the low, low price of all your limbs[1], you too could take on Militech single-handedly with our Gravitational Field Generators. With the automatic immunosuppressant delivery system, Cyberpsychosis[2] is a thing of the past. Don’t YOU want to be the Hero for once? Supplies are limited, so call today and get yo...

When the flatline hits and the tone goes silent, make sure your loved ones have the necessary vengeance with Trauma Team’s new diamond-platinum insurance tier. Brought to you by our new partnership with MaxTac, we’ll make sure your killers never forget their mistake. Listen along as we delve into the (almost) back half of Edgerunner as David is forced to deal with the fallout of a mission gone sou...

Call toll-free at One 8oo GET-BENT for a FREE consultation and find out if YOU’RE right for Trauma Team TODAY! Free for the 1st minute; 50 eddies are required to continue after that! Results may vary. Not applicable everywhere. In the event of Cyberpsychosis, your policy will be forfeit, and MaxTac will be alerted to your current location. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.  DISCLAIMER: We're T...

You'd think there would be a Halo in this new streaming series based on the award-winning video game Halo, but there isn't, or is there? Listen along as we discuss what we enjoyed about the first episode of the new Halo series on Paramount+ and our overall take on the show. When we learned of the Silver Timeline, we knew this wouldn't be the Halo story we thought it would be. DISCLAIMER: We're Too...

Only the best know not to violate code 605. Fortunately, we’re not here for the best. Listen along as we try to suss out this lore-thick movie, and figure out if we liked it or not while wondering what all those code violations are and how anyone gets anything done WITHOUT violating anything. Jamie Foxx and Snoop Dogg headline this schlocky call back to 90’s action. While enjoyable on-screen, I wi...

Uncle May!? Aunt Ben?! Listen along as we figure that out ourselves. Welcome to the first episode of We’re Too Literary! In this episode, we discuss the semi-recent Marvel movie release — Spider-Man: No Way Home Join us as we discuss our favorite moments of the movie and the aspects that we’d might have changed if we had written it. DISCLAIMER: We're Too Literary will be full of spoilers about wha...

Welcome to We're Too Literary! A podcast about two guys, two amateur writers, who get together and discuss some of their favorite stories and how they might do it differently. Episodes releasing weekly!