Welcome to the World of Pokémon

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-sixth lesson on Pokémon biology. For today's class, we will be discussing Raichu: the Mouse Pokémon and the evolved form of Pikachu. As cute and cuddly as it might look, Raichu is much deadlier than its predecessor. Its charges can reach up to a whopping 100,000 volts - capable of bringing down nearly any Pokémon and melting the skin off of huma...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-fifth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we will be discussing everyone's favorite Pokémon, Pikachu: the Mouse Pokémon! This sparky little creature is a favorite among many trainers for its vibrant personality and intelligence. Although as much as you might want to, we would advise NOT pinching a Pikachu's cheeks because that's where they...

Hello there! Happy New Year and Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-fourth lesson on Pokémon biology. In today's class, we will be covering Ekans' evolved form Arbok: the Cobra Pokémon. This slithery specimen is a deadly poison type Pokémon that isn't the best at giving hugs... because it will most likely constrict you to death. So trainers, it's important that you still show affec...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-third lesson on Pokémon biology. For today's lesson, we will be discussing Ekans: the Snake Pokémon. If you decide to take a leisurely stroll through a forest, be on the lookout for Ekans because they love to wrap themselves around tree branches. Or wait... is it coiling? Wrapping or coiling? We have a lengthy discussion today on the wrapping an...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-second lesson on Pokémon biology. In today's class, we will be discussing Spearow's evolution, Fearow: the Beak Pokémon. Fearow is supposedly a very old Pokémon that's been around for... many years. 20 years? 50 years? 8,527 years? 6 million? Who the hell knows. Either way, this resilient bird has managed to survive throughout history wi...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twenty-first lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we will be discussing Spearow: the other Tiny Bird Pokémon. These little guys are nothing like Pidgey - they're feisty, they're quick, and they kind of suck at flying. But although they're inept at flying long distance, they are capable of quick flights to attack unsuspecting bug Pokémon... or Mr....

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twentieth lesson on Pokémon biology. For today's class, we will be discussing the evolved form of Rattata: Raticate, the Mouse Pokémon... again. This chubby little devil loves to chew, so make sure you give your Raticate plenty of logs, sticks, branches, and cinder walls. Yes, you read that correctly... cinder walls. And because Rattata has one, Ratica...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s nineteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today's class will be all about Rattata: the Mouse Pokémon. This feisty little devil is the first Pokémon in our class to have an Alolan variant! So Prof. Jacob has two Rattatas on display for the students today. Keep in mind, trainers, if you do decide to capture a Rattata, please be sure to give it plenty of food...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s eighteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we will be discussing Pidgeot: the Bird Pokémon that's nearly as fast as a fighter jet... yes, seriously. This colorful and ridiculously fast Pokémon is highly sought after by many trainers around the world, so today's lesson is incredibly important for those of you looking to eventually train your Pidge...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s seventeenth lesson on Pokémon biology. In today's lesson, we will be discussing Pidgeotto: the Bird Pokémon... very unique. Although Pidgey is mostly harmless, Pidgeotto is entirely the opposite. Due to its ability to conjure up devastating whirlwinds, it's recommended that you train your Pidgeotto outdoors or you too might be impaled by a flying p...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. And for today's class, we are talking about Pidgey: the Tiny Bird Pokémon... very exciting. Pidgey is also our first Normal-type Pokémon we're discussing... exhilarating. Buckle up for a fun time with the Professor's feathery fat friend (the teaching assistant, Mr. Kurtis), and get a close look at his very o...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. We finish Weedle's evolutionary line by discussing Beedrill: the Poison Bee Pokémon. This creature is very feisty and has poisonous stingers used for subduing prey, so please do not attempt to give your Beedrill a high five. And we ask again that you take notes because there's another fun quiz today! ►Support th...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fourteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. We continue Weedle's evolutionary line by discussing the amazingly boring Cocoon Pokémon: Kakuna. Like Metapod, this yellow lump essentially just sits there as the metamorphosis continues within the  shell. However, the shell can get very hot while preparing to evolve, so please do not use Kakuna for a game of hot...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s thirteenth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we discuss one of the most interesting Pokémon in the entire Pokédex... NOT! Weedle, the hairy bug Pokémon, is honestly boring as hell. But it loves to eat! So make sure you keep all notebooks away from the floor; otherwise, Weedle (or Mr. Kurtis) will eat the pages. And as always, we have another fun pop quiz t...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s twelfth lesson on Pokémon biology. We wrap up Caterpie's evolutionary line today as we discuss Butterfree: the Butterfly Pokémon. Although it may not look like it, we learn that our new class pet, Matterpie (who is now Mutterfree the Butterfree), can actually be quite deadly. Therefore, Prof. Jacob has opted to not bring Matterpie into the classroom to...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s eleventh lesson on Pokémon biology. We continue Caterpie's evolutionary line as we discuss Metapod: the Pokémon that's not really a Pokémon. As you'll learn today, Metapods are essentially useless, except when they're thrown at teaching assistants for class demonstrations. And we also have a comprehensive pop quiz today containing questions...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s tenth lesson on Pokémon biology. The days of starter Pokémon lessons are over. Today, we begin a new chapter as we discuss Caterpie, the worm Pokémon. Yet again, Prof. Jacob brings in a live specimen for Trainer Corbin and Mr. Kurtis to observe. However, our squirmy, stinky little friend will be the new class pet! Hurray! Hopefully it won't end up like...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s ninth lesson on Pokémon biology. It's time for us to finally wrap up our lessons on the Kanto starters as we discuss Squirtle's final evolution: Blastoise! Due to its high-powered cannons capable of tearing off flesh, we advise Blastoise trainers not to spray their colleagues, friends, or family... unless they smell like Mr. Kurtis, then it's f...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s eighth lesson on Pokémon biology. For today's lesson, we'll be discussing Squirtle's next evolution: Wartortle! Join us as we talk about some insane Wartortle facts involving its ears, shell, and the fact that old people love its tail. And always, please take detailed notes because today's pop quiz will definitely prove to be a tricky one f...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s seventh lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we'll be discussing the final Kanto starter: Squirtle! To practice safe hygiene, our tiny turtle friend is available to students in need of a good hand washing - except for Mr. Kurtis. He got his leg washed with... something else. And make sure to take notes because Prof. Jacob has some tricky questions for tod...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s sixth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we'll be discussing the final Pokémon in Charmander's evolutionary line: Charizard! Join us as we take a closer look at everyone's favorite draconic, bipedal, fire-breathing Pokémon... who may or may not have destroyed half the building. And make sure you pay attention, students, because there's anoth...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fifth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we talk about the second Pokémon in Charmander's evolutionary line: Charmeleon! Good thing you students didn't attend this lesson in person because things get VERY heated with the Professor's Charmeleon. No seriously, if you have any spare aloe, Corbin would be very appreciative. And as always, we end the...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s fourth lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we talk about Charmander: the lizard Pokémon! We also discuss the real reason as to why our class has taken a 6-month hiatus. We have another fun quiz about our fiery-tailed friend, so make sure you're paying attention because all grades are final! And welcome back to the World of Pokémon! ►Support the Professor...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s third lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we talk about Venusaur, Bulbasaur’s final evolution! Corbin gets up close and personal with Prof. Jacob’s Venusaur and almost doesn’t make it out alive. However, class must go on! So make sure your notes are detailed because this class ends with a particularly difficult quiz. ►Support the Professor's class on Pat...

Hello there! Welcome to Professor Jacob’s second lesson on Pokémon biology. Today, we take a look at Ivysaur, the “seed” Pokémon. In our discussion, we learn that a pleasant aroma from Ivysaur’s bud may lead to something big. We also learn that maybe Prof. Jacob didn’t make the best choice in teaching assistants. Oh well! Too late now. Don’t forget to turn in your homework at the beginning of clas...