We Will NOT Play DnD

Trapped and interrogated, the party has no choice but to cooperate with Chanclas himself, and they're given one final tour. However, they won't go out entirely without a fight, and they definitely won't be pleasant about any of it.

After a few twists and turns, the party winds up in the innards of the factory, and it spells bad news for all those who dwell there. There are a certain list of pests you never want to see in a building that handles food, and player characters are at the top of that list.

Only a certain amount of whimsy and magic can hide the horrific necessities of industrial demand. Charlie Chanclas knows that when you have a goose that lays a golden egg, you breed it and eventually establish a mass farming operation while aggressively capturing market shares.

The simplest way to deter would-be intruders to a magical candy factory is with a guard dog, but in this case a few of the fundamental rules of deterrence have been ignored. For one, the guard dog is a secret only to be discovered by the unlucky.

Somewhere in the world, there's a mysterious candy factory making sweets that mystify scientists and baffle engineers. Corporate leaders would kill to know its secrets, and there are plenty of killers for hire who would try to crack such a place, only to learn that its insides defy all reason.

It's the final challenge, and there's no way Paul can get out of it by proving he's a better person than the Krampus gave him credit for. All is not lost, of course, because all Paul has to do is outwit a child. At least in theory.

Paul is put on an official trial for his actions in the island game, but with the Krampus Jr as the jury and the Krampus himself as both judge and executioner, it's a bit of a kangaroo court.

With Hitler taking over the island and Paul not the most controlling type, the fate of everyone there is clearly not sunny. Dahmer is naturally not the first person to turn to, so Paul is forced to improvise and play off of whatever the islanders choose to do.

The Krampus has his own game to play, but this one involves a certain level more realism, while also abstracting everything into carved stone figurines. Paul is forced to act as chieftan to a small island in Krampus, while shielding himself from Hitler's pointy elbows.

The Krampus Jr decides to mash together the spirit of "tag" and "Candy Land" into a real life, cross-country chase. Unfortunately, Paul isn't much of a traveler and he's completely caught up in an argument with the Krampus.

Facing another moral trial, Paul is forced to use Mr. Sprinklewinker's business assets to meet the terms of the test, but quickly finds he can't breach any of the security to do that. Naturally, he must turn to grief, anger, bargaining, and pizza.

The Krampus's son is all too excited to subject Paul to a test of his character. However, it turns out having Hitler on your team is incredibly distracting if you're the type to get sucked into an argument about Hitler, with Hitler.

The Krampus comes to collect the wicked and punish them for their misdeeds, but this mythical creature has been at it for a while, and his work has gotten sloppy. But his wife wants him to take the kid to work for a day, and all humans look the same, so a hapless butler is kidnapped and subjected to a trial of morality!

The burglar attempts to resort to his own trap, if not to catch our heroes in the act, then to at least confirm they're creatures in the house and not the house itself. Of course, what one does can sometimes lead to the spread of bad ideas.

One rule of saving the day is that you wouldn't have an adventure if someone else would save it for you. If that were the case, the story wouldn't be from your perspective! It'd be told by the guy that saved the day!

Kevin has been rescued, and little Eric has been left home alone to enjoy his new toy-based friend, but then disaster strikes - an intruder breaks into the house! And it's up to all the toys to save the day.

The group sets out in the night to find their lost friend, Kevin, but there are many hazards around the house. The cat, mom, and of course Eric's health as a growing boy. All important considerations.

In this week's game, the players are very stupid toys with one, overriding purpose: to bring happiness to the child that owns them. The larger problem is that they barely understand the context of their world or what causes joy.

With encouragement from Sasha, Mayson decides to hold a colony vote to instruct him on how to cast his own vote as band leader. It's all technically on the up and up, but not exactly how Padre envisioned things going.

Mayson struggles to figure out his strategy now that he's floundering politically. He's isolated, but not exactly alone, and the nice thing about politics is that the public memory is short, so you can sometimes change tact before the critical moment.

The band now divorced, Lawry and Elvis have to strike out on their own, or make new friends. Unfortunately, new friends can sometimes take a little big of adjusting, especially when they've got bigger things on their minds than the immediate social pecking order.

Glam Rock enters a dangerous power struggle three ways between the colony's bands. The system is based largely around the opinions of the band leaders, and with all three facing off, conflict becomes a certainty.

Mayson begins to take steps to alter the trajectory of Glam Rock's fate, but Brock isn't one to let go of an idea. Elvis and Lawry continue to grapple with their own personal issues, and Padre has a plan of his own.

Pieces are falling into place grudually. Mayson strikes a deal with Padre and feels out the opinions of his lady friends, while Lawry and Elvis deal with their own personal issues.

Mayson decides to turn to spy stuff to coordinate a dissent campaign with Padre Rockero and use his resistance to voice his own, but there's a bit of a hitch in that Lawry and Elvis have to cooperate with the plan.