Untoxicated Podcast

Julie Sanford hosts the Married to Addiction podcast, and she joins Sheri and Matt to discuss the similarities and differences in both their recovery stories, and also their outreach to the loved ones of alcoholics. On...

Matt spent ten years working himself through the cycle of active alcoholism into permanent sobriety. What could have been accomplished in a year, took Matt a decade to process. Why the delay? Denial. Both Sheri...

The loved ones of alcoholic are often compelled to keep the trauma of addiction a secret because the drinker has a lot to hide. By stifling their stories, the loved ones remain stuck in unprocessed...

During his active addiction and early sobriety, Matt never had an idea that Sheri was interested in hearing about. Whether it was his arrogance, his gaslighting or his mistakes, new ideas just meant challenges and...

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it may be hard to be truthful and authentic with your partner who is dealing with or recovering from addiction. You’re vulnerability has probably been used...

“You do what I tell you or else,” statements rarely work, and they create additional friction while weakening our relative positions in relationships. In this episode, Sheri and Matt share their personal experiences with ultimatums...

More than anything else, recovering a relationship from alcoholism is a huge communication problem. And it isn’t just a problem with the words we choose, it is the modes of communication that keep us stuck...

For alcoholics, there is a direct relationship between the shame from past behaviors, and a tangible liquid called alcohol. For the loved ones of alcoholics, spouses in particular, the source of shame is far less...

Do you remember a correction, disciplinary action or criticism from years or decades ago that still hurts? We bet the person who delivered those words doesn’t remember. Have you ever delivered a message that someone...

There is an enormous relief that comes with shining a light into the dark corners and letting the truth be heard. And it is more than emotional and mental relief – it is vitally important...

Active alcohol addiction is not always loud and chaotic. Sometimes, the silence of the person suffering the pain of addiction causes a different kind of trauma. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Kate to...

Experiencing the addiction and early sobriety of a loved one can feel painful, lonely, chaotic, traumatic, isolating and terrorizing for the spouses of alcoholics. On this episode, Matt asks Sheri to recall the emotions she...

The healing that comes for some in the recovery from alcoholism is the result of hard work. We have to want sobriety for ourselves, and not to appease someone else. We also have to want...

Trust and alcoholism can’t coexist. Intimacy is impossible without trust and vulnerability. So, alcoholism and intimacy are mutually exclusive. If you are in an alcoholic relationship, something important is missing (but you already know that)....

Our family and our friends mean well when they give us advice about our alcoholic marriages. The problem with well-meaning advice from people who have never walked in our shoes is that it often misses...

As an active alcoholic, Matt put a lot of the blame for their dysfunctional marriage on Sheri. In early sobriety, he blamed himself for the overwhelming shame he felt. The whole time, Sheri was convinced...

“I look at the face that looks back at me from the mirror, and it’s jarring. I look like I’ve aged ten years in just this last one. But it’s more than superficial. The heartbreak...

The week after Christmas offers lots of threats to sobriety and mental health. Family tension, financial strain, an overbooked calendar, and festive expectations all lead to stress and pressure that is not relieved when the...

Sometimes, like in Matt’s case, high-functioning alcoholics are also control-freak assholes. Other times, people who abuse alcohol withdraw leaving all the decisions to the spouse or other loved ones. In both cases, there are serious...

“You sure did have a good time at the Christmas party, Matt.” When he was actively drinking, Matt heard statements like that more than a few times. But they carried no shame, because our society...

Just over a year after her husband took his own life while firmly in the grasp of alcohol addiction, Dusti Shay is ready to tell her story for the benefit of others fighting to survive...

Christina Veselak is a mental health nutritionist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a licensed psychotherapist who founded the Academy for Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition, and she agrees with Sheri and Matt that...

Alcohol plays such a prominent role in the Thanksgiving celebrations in our society that the holiday deserves a conversation all its own. On this episode, Sheri and Matt relive their Thanksgivings during his active alcoholism...

Sheri and Matt welcome Dr. Robert Weiss, the author of Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, to the Untoxicated Podcast. Dr. Rob has his PhD (he did his dissertation on codependency) and a masters in social work,...

How do we expect positive outcomes in recovery when all of the language we use has a negative orientation? Stop drinking. Fix your spiritual deficiency. Don’t be codependent. Focusing on positive outcomes is more than...