Unpacking Myself

Others are going to affect us - we are human & relationships are a big part of our day to day but what happens when our emotions and mental state goes up and down a lot with all or certain relationships? This can cause us to feel like we are not in control of our emotional and mental state - we just go for the ride that others are going to take us on. I dive into my experience with this and everyt...

We have so many mechanisms to protect ourselves - physically, emotionally & mentally. Some are useful and truly help and some give us a false sense of protection. Our desire to dismiss or ignore negative things in our life is a way to protect ourselves but often times it also gives that "thing" power over us. The goal is to take the learning and growth from that negative experience or emotion and...

Why would anyone ever choose to worry? Why would they choose to worry when they don't have to. In this episode, I talk about how our brains are wired to "worry" so it can help us take action when we are in danger but this same wiring can cause us to make worrying a habit. We use it as a crutch like our phones to distract us from matters or take away from a calm and quiet headspace. You may not eve...

The one thing that is constant is that things are always changing. Change can be scary - it's so easy to get comfortable in our routine or what we know. Recently, I had to take a moment to step back from the things changing in my life to notice the positive emotions change was triggering within me as well. Beyond the unknown and nervousness, there was excitement, a feeling of being alert & alive....

What do you think of when someone asks "who are you?" How many labels pop into your mind - mom, wife, husband, entrepreneur, vegan, feminist. A lot of times these labels are just reflections of the choices we are making in our life but it's very easy to let our emotions and ego get attached to these labels. In this episode, I talk about how to notice when this happens and how to see yourself beyon...

Have you ever stopped to notice how content you are with the friendships in your life? Do you feel deeply connected with at least some of your friends? In this episode, I share the factors that come into play in cultivating deep friendships. It takes intention, effort but also a level of surrender. We all crave that deep connection and I share 3 things that help deepen connections with friends whe...

I've always been able to pick up on other people's energy and feelings. It's something I have been able to do for as long as I can remember. It's helped me connect and understand people better but it's also easy to let it influence your own energy & behavior. A recent incident made me realize the power in maintaining my energy so I influence a situation or person for the better rather than going u...

I've really learned to embrace the "joy of missing out" the last few years. JOMO isn't about being isolated and not being a part of social events but instead feeling 100% in control how we choose to spend our time and who we choose to spend it with. It's easy to forget that we only are in charge of our time. Things should only be on our social calendar if we want it to be. I also dive into transfo...

Our default is often to try to fix the external thing or person first, and yes often that does need to happen but I've learned that changing our expectations can also be a powerful tool to help bring us more happiness and peace. It's easy to hold on to our expectations of another or a situation even though it continues to disappoint us. In this episode I talk about how shifting our expectations ca...

Have you ever shied away from something at work or outside of work - volunteering for something, going to a party where you don't know anyone, getting on that call with someone you are intimidated by. It's so tempting to just opt out of doing it, cancel or make excuses but only you know if you are doing that because you are giving into your fears or because it truly is the right thing for you. Whe...

A recent trip to Yosemite while I was going through some work stress made me realize that nature magically made my stress & worries feel smaller and reassured me that it was all going to be ok. How the heck does it do that? When you watch others watch nature, you realize everyone feels something in nature. It touches a deeper part of them and I just don't think it's because it's "pretty." In this...

There is a lot of buzz around being authentic and being who you are. Does that mean I say everything I think out loud? Do I act upon all the emotions I feel? How do I know when to do that and when not to? Over and over I've read, experienced and seen that when our thoughts, actions and words don't match, there is more disturbance within us. In this episode, I dive into how disparity between our th...

Seems way to simple to be able to categorize every human emotion into Fear or Love, right? I felt the same way until I started experimenting with it. I learned that I just never sat with the negative emotion long enough to unpack the layers to get to the actual Fear. It's so easy to just get stuck at the negative emotion of anger, resentment, etc. In this episode I talk this as well as how I use t...

I always associated prayer with religion so I never truly understood it. I dismissed it. "Who would I pray to? How do I pray? It doesn't work most of the time anyway." So many reasons to make me shy away from it until recently. In this episode I talk through how and why I embraced prayer in a non-religious way. Prayer isn't about God or religion, it's about a mindset and certain life principles. I...

Adversity can mean many things to people. We may think some hard moments are not as great as others but we all go through hard times & pain in our own way. Why don't we expect hard moments as a part of life versus resisting it or avoiding it? Spiritual leaders often talk about how joy and suffering go hand and hand. Why doesn't everyone embrace adversity as a part of life and as a friend, not an e...

You know those people who go out of their way, put other people's needs before theirs and they do this for every single person they encounter? The people who take kindness to the next level. A lot of us are kind with those around us, people we have a relationship with, people who are going through a tough time but I couldn't help but think about those who do this no matter what, when, where, who....

Self-pity doesn't always have to be an ongoing personality trait. What about the random days when we feel bad for ourselves because of a rough day with the kids or a rough day at work? It can sneak up on us when we aren't expecting it and before we know it, our nights or days are consumed by things to help us feel better about ourselves. I found myself in this place recently and dive into this all...

Have you ever noticed how much of the noise in our mind is tied to judgement? The answer is a lot. Aside from judgement of others, we have a tendency to judge most, if not all, of the events in our life. Do we like this or do we not like this? What do we wish had happened? Is there value in letting our mind go down this route or are we just creating unnecessary anxiety? I dive into all of this alo...

Have you ever felt an urge to tell others how they should do something or make sure they know when they make a mistake? It's easy to tell ourselves "I'm just helping them" but when I unpacked this one, I realized that deep down it was another mind trick that was self-serving. We all hate micromanagers, yet they continue to exist everywhere. Why can't we resist that urge to "butt in?" Why do people...

Who am I to question Carl Jung… but then I just couldn't help myself. A quote of his led me down a path of reflecting and hoping for something different than my experience, for future generations. In this one, I question whether we really do have to wait until 40 to reflect, examine & get philosophical. But it's hard to deny that around 40 most of us that may have been on autopilot most of our lif...

Another one of those topics where I am baffled I wasn't exposed to or taught earlier in my life. Jealousy, competition, stealing, manipulating all stem from a feeling of "there isn't enough in the world for everyone." There is always one or more area of our life where we let this scarcity mindset creep in and we get caught up in a vicious cycle. However, when we feel there is enough for everyone,...

When I stopped drinking for a couple of years, I learned a lot about myself and the world around me. One of the biggest challenges was explaining to people why I stopped drinking even though I didn't have a major issue with alcohol and wasn't dealing with addiction. It wasn't until recently through someone else's words that I realized what I was trying to learn through this experience. In this epi...

If the choice is between being the jerk who challenges someone's opinion to their face or being the person who stays quiet but passes judgment later, who would you choose? Most people feel more comfortable staying quiet but is there really not a better in between option? Does disagreeing or debating with someone have to turn ugly & awkward? In this episode, I dive into why I don't think so. I shar...

Isn't it funny that we always tell our kids "have fun" but they are the ones that need to be reminded the least? I think we adults are the ones that need the reminder, not them. Why is it so hard for adults to have fun like kids? In this episode I dive into the answers I unpacked for myself and what reminder now helps me enjoy the little moments more. I also talk through why many spiritual leaders...

How often do we spend time with just our thoughts - no distractions. We use tools to measure our physical health but what do to measure our mental health? Our comfort or discomfort with being alone with our thoughts can be very telling about the quality of our life. This week I talk through this invisible yet powerful measure of our overall well-being and my journey of going from being uncomfortab...