UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman

Everyone wants a magic cookie cutter intervention for stopping being hit by children who experienced trauma. Guess what, no magic solutions possible. There are some answers though. Self care for you and connection for them are paramount. In today's episode, When Love Hurts, Ce talks about some simple tips for dealing with this in a family setting and when your children are not teenagers....

In this episode, Ce tackles the often infuriating statements that come out of our children's mouths like: "I didn't do it," "I didn't take it," You never believe me," or the perfect accusation "You don't love me."  Yes, children gaslight, too. In adults it is quite damaging. In children, gaslighting is an opportunity for parents to build their child's felt sense...

Today Ce makes it easy to see how Adverse Childhood Experiences in a parent's life and their attachment style impacts parenting children from difficult beginnings.  Take the ACES test to find your score before you listen to this episode. You can take it here: acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English-rev.7.26.22.pdf or simply Google ACES tes...

Ce shares her experience as a therapist during what is turning out to be troubling times. Find out the 10 myths of grief and some tips for coping with a personal grief over losing a loved one, grief after losing a dream, or collective grief from the political wave of change that is provoking an avalanche of mixed feelings--grief being one of the many--no matter what side of the aisl...

In today's episode Ce gives you a short and sweet neuroscience lesson on why kids self-sabotage so much and how parents can be the changemakers in the way they respond. There isn't anything more frustrating than wanting your child to be able to have fun at an anticipated birthday party, overnight with friends, or a trip to Six Flags, and just before the event they pull out some kind...

Ce Eshelman, LMFT, embarks on a journey through the big emotions that come when adoptive parents bring their children home and the reality doesn't match the dream. There are many ways to understand these emotions, and learning ways to process them will help parents stay out of Blocked Care. Ce shares some awareness, insights and practical solutions in today's episode. Resource: Reclaiming Com...

Ce Eshelman shares her notes to "Lucy," a fictional young adult with complex developmental trauma. From Ce Eshelman: Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your child? It is so painful to walk the jagged trail of this p...

Ce Eshelman shares from her heart about how Valentine's Day can hit parents of children from difficult beginnings right in the gut. If you are feeling blocked and you want to stick your head in the sand until Feb 15th, then you will want to listen to this episode of Unmuted Love. There are tips, neuro hacks, suggestions, and supports for a healthy glimmer of warmth when it feels lik...

Ce interviews Naomi Houston about her journey from being adopted from China by American parents through her recovery from complex developmental trauma.. Naomi has written a lovely account of her therapeutic recovery to date from abandonment trauma in adoption in her first book,  A Glimpse into the Unknown . Naomi speaks frankly about her childhood...

Ce shares some startling statistics about how teen girls were impacted by the pandemic as well as how they are fairing with the toxic influences of social media. When you know the data, your head with spin. This is an opportunity to tune in and open up communication with girls to lift their feelings of depression, anxiety and social pressure in this "anxious generation." Resources:...

Ce takes you on a journey to explore the tip of your blocked parenting iceberg. The Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program takes a deeper dive into blocked care and Ce gives you an overview here to help you get yourself on a healing path. You can warm your tepid, blocked heart. You can check out Love Matters Parenting Society below for more information about becom...

Ce welcomes you to the first podcast of 2025 and shares her thoughts about resolutions and why she doesn't make them anymore, plus some of her thoughts on how to deal with social media in the years ahead.  From Ce Eshelman: Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monu...

Contrary to popular belief, Ce doesn't work around the clock. She is on a holiday break from the podcast, and her incredible producer, Siah Clark, has stepped in to give you a little mash-up of podcasts past. Thank you for being such loyal listeners. You are the moon and the stars to us here at UnMuted Love. Let's sail into the new year with intention in our minds, determinatio...

Sometimes we, parents, just need something running through our minds that reminds us that "every little thing is gonna be alright." Today's podcast is a very long list of mantras you can pick from to run around in your brain to remind you of what is important while living with children from difficult beginnings. You can also listen to this podcast on repeat for a lovely long list of affi...

UnMuted Love - Episode 36: Spotlight on Holidays and Vacations with Ce Eshelman. Holidays and vacations require just a little bit more thought than most of us wish. If you are visiting friends and family for the holidays or going somewhere new, beware, kids like routine and by definition holidays and vacations are off routine. That means the dysregulation is on. Listen to this podca...

"The holidays" start every year in October and they keep on rolling until after the New Year. Let's face it, "fun" can be stressful for everyone. Ce Eshelman knows you can create joyful experiences this holiday when you consider each person's capacity to tolerate social, physical, and emotional stimulation. It helps to have the right tools, too. It is possible to enjoy all the seasons' festivities...

Ce Eshelman interviews Ginger Healy, the Director of the Attachment and Trauma Network (ATN), a parent-created national organization supporting traumatized children and their parents. In 1995 three mothers  who were parenting children diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder met to support one another only to find how similar their journeys were and that they truly were “Not Alone,” ATN wa...

In this last episode. Amanda Savarino and Ce Eshelman wrap up the Brave Love Series with a recap of the important concepts in the series and a frank discussion about grief in adoption and surrender to "What is" when you love a child who has been traumatized. You won't want to miss this episode because it is full of reflection and hope. Brave Love is a series developed by Amanda Savarino for parent...

Amanda Savarino again joins Ce Eshelman for an informative discussion about narrow bandwidth, low charge in the battery, and increasing capacity for one's parenting life in any given moment. You won't want to miss this episode. Brave Love is a 6-part series developed by Amanda Savarino for parents of children from hard beginnings. From Ce Eshelman: Are you searching for a community of parents who...

Ce Eshelman and Amanda Savarino discuss the ins and outs of trauma behavior in children. If all behavior is communication, what is your child's behavior telling you? Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda Savarino for parents loving children from hard places. From Ce Eshelman: Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the wo...

Ce Eshelman and Amanda Savarino discuss Behavior, A Nervous System Perspective. If all behavior is communication, what is your child's behavior telling you? Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda for parents loving children from hard places. Resources Beyond Behavior , Mona Delahooke, PH.D. 15-Minute Focus Regulation and Co-Regulation , Ginger Healy, LCSW Drowning with My Hair on Fire: In...

This episode is devoted to the importance of finding "your people" when parenting children from difficult beginnings. Amanda Savarino again joins Ce Eshelman for a lively discussion of how they weathered the storms of their early parenting years alone and isolated until they found real hope in the form of others on the same journey. Brave Love is a 6-part series created by Amanda Savarino for pare...

Ce Eshelman and Amanda are kindred spirits who love talking together about the things they each learned from parenting their children from difficult beginnings. Both women have professional careers dedicated to supporting parents with what they learned when they were first parenting their own children. Resources Books: Brene' Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me Brene' Brown, Daring Greatly Brene' Brow...

The series begins with these two moms chatting about their lived experience. Ce and Amanda both struggled separately with feelings they came to understand as "Blocked Care." Little by little both found their way to living a life they love. If you find you resonate, there is always hope. Resources Books: Brain-Based Parenting, by John Baylin and Dan Hughes Raising Kids With Big, Baffling, Behaviors...

Ce and Laura, Executive Director of Capitol Adoptive Families Alliance in Sacramento, CA, have a frank conversation about the issues that arise when Caucasian people adopt Black children. You won't want to miss this enlightened conversation on Laura's lived experience of race in America. From Ce Eshelman: Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and...