Unhurried Living | Helping Christians Rest Deeper & Lead Better

I first want to talk to you about the word Replenish and why I love it so much. There are a lot of “R” words that I could have chosen: Rest, receive, recover, refill, or restore. Replenish stands out because within it is the connotation of refilling that which was poured out. It assumes you are giving, serving and working. It is important for us to remember that these dynamics are concurrent. We k...

Notice, discern and respond (NDR). Three simple words. And yet they take time and intention. Today’s I Can Do That! episode is like a mini-workshop. I’m not just going to chatter away at you. Instead, you can take action on a thought right now, as we move through this together.   This is about telling ourselves the truth. Critical, shaming or numbing thoughts do not help us mature the way we desir...

Over the last few years I’ve been consoled many times by this phrase: you already have what you need . It comes straight from 2 Peter 1:3 and the Spirit reminded me of its power during a particularly stressful season. It’s now an ongoing life-paradigm for me. I thought it might be nice if we spent a little time in 2 Peter, lingering over these words slowly. Savoring them like a fine chocolate. By...

In the early part of my life I'd like to think that I was a relatively functional and intelligent participant in my own life. And I was. I got married, I held down a job, and we began a family. I enjoyed a large community and a wonderful life.  However, under the surface, I didn't really have access to my own, individual voice. There was a kind of holy confidence missing. Self-doubt and anxiety of...

Today we are talking about thoughts. We begin with  "You are not your thoughts. You have thoughts."     The first time I heard this I, of course, understood every single word. And yet it seemed like a foreign concept to me. What do you mean I'm not my thoughts? They're in my head, it's my voice, of course it's me!   Another way of saying this is: You are more than your thoughts. You have thoughts....

Picture this...you are at the gym and you’re getting ready to lift some weights. It’s been a while, but you’ve decided to go for it. The barbell is in your hands and you are prepared to lift it up over your head. But before you do so, a guy walks over to you and says, “I bet you can lift more than that. Here, let me help you.” You protest, but he insists and then he proceeds to add 20 more pounds...

We are continuing our series on Alan's book, What Does Your Soul Love? .  Today we are talking about the chapter on "Control.” The core question around which this chapter revolves is this: “What Are You Clinging To?” In a conversation with friends on the topic of control in leadership, they tackle the idea that leadership and control are not the same thing.    Many of the ways in which Christian l...

We are living at a time when rampant contempt and disregard for humanity fill our daily newsfeeds. This is not limited to North America or Western culture; it’s occurring worldwide. We don’t even hear all of the terrible things that are happening, but what we do hear is now beyond unbearable.   Like so many others who are speaking out about this problem, I don’t have easy answers. So, from my hear...

Alan shares his conversation with Justin Whitmel Earley about his latest book Habits of the Household . A few years ago, we shared a conversation about his first book, the award-winning Common Rule (you can go back to episode 72 to listen to that conversation).   Justin's book extends his insights into a personal rule of life into how to cultivate a rule of life for a family. At the time he wrote...

If you are in the middle of a season of change, you likely feel out of place, neither here nor there. You feel the need for some fresh air, some energy to keep going.   If you are at the end of a season of change, you may be tired. You desire to celebrate, but you can’t keep your eyes open. Plus, the next project is looming before you and you don’t know if you have time to celebrate.   Here is a p...

Today Alan is sharing some personal thoughts on the chapter in his book What Does Your Soul Love? on “Fear.” The core question around which this chapter revolves, no surprise, is “What Are You Afraid Of?” It’s a challenge that we all face. It’s been said that the most common word of command God gives in the Scriptures is “Do not fear.”  Alan hopes that what he has to share in today’s episode will...

Over the years, as I engaged in various forms of group exercise, I’ve collected some helpful tips from many fitness instructors. I’ve been able to narrow some of these ideas into an acronym that may help you formationally. Many of the same principles that grow us physically can also be translated into our formational inner work.   So let’s take a look at ARC: Ability, Rhythm and Core. ABILITY - St...

In today’s episode, Alan speaks with his friend and bishop, Todd Hunter . His most recent book is titled Deep Peace: Finding Calm in a World of Conflict and Anxiety . It’s a pretty timely topic, wouldn’t you say? Statistics over these last couple of years tell us that anxiety is at perhaps an all-time high. And you don’t have to go much further than your social media or news feed to see the levels...

What would it look like for you to slow down your inner pace as you converse with someone else? Here are five ways you can practice being present and listening to another person:   Begin to quiet your mind as you listen. We all have distractions, but begin to practice setting aside your own inner whirlwind for a bit. Let the life of the person in front of you come to center stage. Quiet your own m...

"How are you suffering?"  Doesn’t this sound like a fun episode?  However, it won’t take long to realize, and agree, there has been a lot of suffering in the last few years. A global pandemic. I’ve lost two friends to it, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost two months of my life fighting COVID19 two different times.  There’s been so much pain.  Social conflict.  Political polarization.  Racial pain.  Vo...

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t." (Romans 12:5, MSG)⁠ ⁠ "Love one another from the center of who you are…" (Romans 12:9, MSG)⁠ ⁠ I now often use these...

In this week's episode, we share a recent conversation Alan had with James Bryan Smith about his latest book, The Good and Beautiful You . In it, he talks about who we really are in God. How has God created us to flourish? What does it look like to be fully alive inside? How do we discover the person Jesus created us to be? We think you’re going to find this episode really helpful in answering que...

In our book, What Does Your Soul Love?, I shared the story of how I was learning photography at the same time as I was in the midst of a dark night of the soul.   At the time, and to this day, I carry within me the principles and metaphors of photography as a paradigm for my life. There are many connections here between photography, presence and perspective. I’d like to share three with you now.  ...

I’ve been a spiritual director and coach for many women over many years. There are common themes that have arisen in that time. ⁠ ⁠ One prevalent theme I bump into over and over is this: Women tend to think there is something wrong with them if they are not progressing quickly through their current situation. ⁠ ⁠ Whether it’s a difficult work situation, a troubled relational issue, a period of ext...

As a person of influence, you may be tempted to move ahead more quickly than your people can move. Be sure they sense you are with them in their journey, that you aren’t trying to drag them forward at your pace. If you are accompanying someone on their journey right now, notice if you are allowing them the dignity to set their own pace. Are there any adjustments you need to make as you accompany t...

Often, when I talk about Unhurried Time with God, I offer that the reason we do it is because Jesus himself did it. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He got in touch with the Father so he could find out what to do, and more importantly, who he was.   Jesus said that the works he did were the Father’s works and the words he spoke were the Father’s words. How else did he know what to do...

A few of our deepest needs are to be seen, known and heard. Some of us can share our hidden spaces directly with God. Others may need to make their way to God with the help of trusted friends, spiritual directors, coaches or counselors. Either way is beautiful because it means you are becoming more whole.   So…show it all to God. Tell it like it is. It’s already happening and God knows about it. Y...

“Unnatural, frantic, anxious work, work done under pressure of greed or fear or any other inordinate passion, cannot properly speaking be dedicated to God, because God never wills such work directly.” (Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p. 19) These words are a direct blow to my anxiety. Frantic work is never God’s invitation. Simply being reminded of this can be enough to quell the low hu...

Wherever I go, do I act as though I should be there or am I held back by self-doubt? Do I enter with holy confidence or am I hamstrung by fear? Do I engage with assured presence or am I pressed down by anxiety?   What if a “Beloved child of God” ticket was in my hand and I could use it at will. Like an eternal park hopper pass at Disneyland. Or like a never-ending entrance to the Cathedral in Flor...

Over the years I have grown tired of my own inner dialogue—whether I am  doing  the right things,  being  the right things,  saying  the right things,  accomplishing  the right things. And not simply in regard to my outer work life but also my inner spiritual life. I have worn myself out with shoulds and ought-tos. What my heart truly seeks is peace. What it truly seeks is love. My simple, sighing...