Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage

The wonderful story of Milarepa and his cave full of demons is emblematic of how we can move through the world and of our spiritual path. It's also a story of cultivating wisdom and learning how to be at peace with even the most difficult and scary experiences. In this talk Mary offers an invitation to discover and make peace with your demons. Recorded January 30, 2021 in the virtual world. S...

In the Rajan Sutta (Ud 5.1), the Buddha invites us to acknowledge that just as we find no one dearer than ourselves, we should recognize that others feel the same and so we should not hurt others if we love ourselves. It's a wonderful sentiment, but often difficult find a way to hold ourselves with love and esteem. Mary discusses how we can we can get bogged down with ideas that we're no...

For our entire lives we have been told who to be, how to behave and what to believe. This conditioning sets us up for suffering and being disconnected from our hearts and the sacred. Reconnection begins with mindfulness and the willingness to turn toward our experience and this is the path to liberation. This was a dharma talk offered at the 6th Annual Womxn's Retreat. Recorded Jan. 15, 2021...

We spend a lot of time attaching importance to particular dates or moments believing that our lives or circumstances will change when something finally happens. This leads to a sense of striving both in our practice and how we move through the world. In this talk, Mary discusses how let go and arrive in the present. It's easy to get distracted and caught up in the habits of the mind, but we c...

In order to be fully present and open we have to learn to be receptive rather than reactive. Because of our conditioning we're not aware of how reactive and stuck in habits we can be. Mary talks about how shifting to a more receptive and open way of being with our experience fosters our ability to stay present which allows us to see more clearly and let go of those things that keep us stuck i...

The idea of experiencing darkness in our spiritual practice is an old one and often means facing difficulties or challenges. Although we're tempted to avoid this discomfort, the invitation is to stay with the richness that the darkness offers. There is dark and there is light and we can't have one without the other.  Recorded Dec 17, 2020 in the virtual world Send me a text with any ques...

In this teaching the Buddha invites us to investigate what it is like when suffering is not present. It doesn't mean there are no challenges or difficulties, but these seven factors offer a way to let go of clinging and release into joy, calm, steadiness of mind and equanimity. This is a very important and relevant teaching for our world today. Recorded Dec. 12, 2020 in the virtual world Send...

One of the biggest barriers to our practice is ill-will or anger and resentment and the antidote is loving kindness. It is vital to our practice and also necessary as we cultivate care and concern for all beings. Without loving kindness, or metta, it is very easy to dehumanize others and get entangled in the web of greed, hatred and ignorance. The Buddha placed a great emphasis on this and Mary ta...

There is so much in our world to be heartbroken about today. Heartbreak can sometimes lead to anger however this practice invites us to be with the heartbreak and instead move into Wisdom and Compassion. Using the legend of the Shambhala warrior, Mary talks about using these two tools as a foundation for equanimity and realizing that they offer a powerful path for liberation.  Send me a text with...

This moment in 2020 can feel very chaotic and full of fear, and we can become trapped in the search for certainty. However, that chase for assurances that things will turn out the way we want is empty and unfulfilling. This practice offers us a way to sit with the uncertainty that exists and even to find joy and beauty in the moment. Included is a recording of US Poet Laureate Joy Harjo performing...

We often hear about how the practice allows us to experience a sense of spaciousness, but what does that mean and how do we get there? It's actually helpful to examine how we tend to be constricted and fearful. Mary discusses how we can bring mindfulness and cultivate awareness in a way to let go of our small, fixed and constricted habits and ideas, and move into a more spacious, calm and pea...

Oftentimes when we think we're being strong we're actually defending ourselves or shutting down. The pseudo-strength comes from our armor which is really a type of aversion. In this teaching, originally offered by Roshi Joan Halifax, we're invited to soften to our experiences with compassion yet keep a strong back of equanimity. Mary invites us to be vulnerable, yet move through the...

Equanimity is the culmination of many Buddhist lists and is a place of wisdom, clarity and and deep intimacy with our own experience. In this talk Mary discusses what equanimity is and isn't and how to cultivate it in your life. Equanimity is something we all could use as we navigate the world today. Recorded Oct. 29, 2020 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! In...

So many of our thoughts and emotions are habitual and not necessarily tied to what is happening in the present moment. The Buddha talked about this conditioning and the need to let go of the habits and cultivate an awareness of right now. But how do we let go of something that is so familiar and comfortable? Mary discusses how to spot these habitual patterns and ways to let them go. Recorded Oct....

The Buddha said that admirable friendship is the whole of the holy life. Friendship, connection and community are always important, but seemingly even more so as we move through this world of pandemic, uprisings, zoom and social media. Mary discusses how we can cultivate friendship and community in order to maintain the all-important sense of connection. Recorded Oct 15, 2020 in the virtual world ...

The Four Passing Sights, also known as the Four Messengers is a famous story about Siddhartha Guatama and when he first encounters the reality of life and suffering. These were catalysts for him to leave his comfortable home and go forth to search for the end of suffering.  In this talk Mary discusses how this story can jolt us into an awareness of our own denial of suffering and serve as a "...

Even during a global pandemic there seems to be so much that needs to be done. It's easy to be caught up in the need to fix or take care of or just do something. Many times we feel uneasy about taking time to nourish ourselves, but it's imperative that we do so. Mary talks about how we get caught up in doing, and how to go let go and take care of ourselves in a wise way. Recorded Oct. 1,...

In the Satipatthana Sutta, the Budda's teaching on mindfulness, he offers a way to develop insight and awareness. The practice is not just about when we're sitting on the 'cushion' but about being aware all the time. The monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya invites us to practice "from the moment we wake up until the moment we fall asleep." In this talk, Mary discusses the foundat...

Life is challenging for all of us especially right now, and our natural go-to is not always kindness and compassion. However, responding to rage, fear and other emotions with kindness and compassion is important and should frame how we move through each moment. Mary discusses what this looks like, why it's important and what gets in our way.  Recorded Sept. 19, 2020 in the virtual world Send...

 The Paramis (paramitas) are ten qualities said to be necessary for awakening. However, they can also serve as a framework as we maneuver the highs and lows of our daily lives. Sylvia Boorstein describes these as the "natural inclination of the heart" and a path of kindness. The Paramis: generosity, integrity, renunciation, wisdom, energy, patience, truthfulness, determination, lovingkin...

It's so easy to be caught up in our thoughts, emotions and everything that's going on in the world today. We can become reactive and operate from our fixed views and preconceived ideas rather than seeing clearly what is actually going on. This practice of Beginner's MInd and asking "What is this?" gives us an opportunity to slow down the thinking mind and come into direct...

Another challenging week in our world with loss, violence and moments of joy. How do these teachings help us to hold all the emotions yet also move forward with what Roshi Joan Halifax calls 'wise hope' which enables us to transform suffering? Recorded August 29, 2020 in the virtual world. Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a resp...

The term 'skillful means' ( upaya ) is used a lot in Buddhist circles, but what does it mean and how do we utilize the teachings to move through out lives? Mary discusses upaya as a way to move away from suffering or dukkha in this moment and how we find these skillful means in our own lives. Recorded August 22, 2020 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Inc...

It's nice to think that we follow the precepts because we want to be in harmony with the world, but often times it takes remorse and fear of repercussions to dig us out of our old conditioning. The Buddha's teaching on Hiri and Otappa offers us a way to utilize these feelings and emotions to move towards a more easygoing and embodied relationship with the precepts. Recorded August 15, 20...

The Buddha said, "Impermanent are conditioned things," but that has not stopped humans from thinking things are solid and permanent. Using the book The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor as a jumping off point, Mary discusses the great suffering we have all experienced ourselves and caused others by holding on to concepts about size, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability an...