Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga

In this episode, Em and Cam discuss chapter five of Eclipse, which includes some CRAZY new lore, a wild Sam x Emily origin story, and another Bella temper tantrum. Also, we answer patron AMAs, discuss the weird sexualization of female animals in animated movies, and talk about our old lady joints, despite both of us being in our 20s.

Covering chapter 4 of Eclipse this week, we spend more time making fun of Stephenie Meyer's overall lack of writing skill, from Bella's overly whiny 'worst day ever' to the really lame fridge magnet metaphor. Cam and Em share their cereal preferences and ask which cereal lasts longest in milk. We also make a request for Emmett and Rosalie fanfiction please and thank you. We also offer our expert r...

We are back after the holidays with Chapter 3 of Eclipse, where we talk about Jacob's height (again), Edward acting like a cat in more ways than one, and many other things ranging from serious to hysterical. Also, as always, minecraft, sims, and other nerd shit. Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Jumping into chapter 2 of Eclipse this week, we are right back to being mad at the men in Bella's life. Cam makes some predictions about Alice's secret prediction and Em offers alternatives to making out with Edward - perhaps a flagpole instead? Once again we question Vampire anatomy and struggle to imagine a rock hard flaccid dick. Have we mentioned this podcast is rated Explicit? Also redemption...

It feels like years since we started New Moon, but we are finally done and moving on to book 3: Eclipse! Join us as we reiterate Charlie's stupidity and Billy's love of gossip, discuss Jacob's strange epistolary choices, and shit on Edward for like the millionth time. Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

After finishing the book at last we finally get to watch the movie for New Moon! Joining us for this special movie episode are Charlie and Hannah from Goblet of Wine (A drunken Harry Potter podcast). While thirsting for every daddy in this movie we also question Edward's waxing routine, judge the vampires' foundation, and discover (expose) Jasper's secret piss kink. Be prepared for some Taylor Lau...

Oh my god!! We finally finished another book! Join us as we round out our reading of New Moon with, you guessed it, getting really annoyed with Edward and Jacob! Also, animal crossing news, our lives falling apart, and like 5 minutes of trying to remember where one movie quote came from. Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

If you wanted us to yell about Edward for almost an entire episode then this is it! From so called apologies, to weird guilt tripping we are HERE to call out the bullshit. If Edward was a real person he would be the one making notes app twitter apologies left and right. We do some unpacking of Bella’s fear of turning 30 and Cam makes some predictions about the end of the book.

Covering chapter 22 of New Moon this week which means talking about anything other than the book! Casting choices for the new Mario movie are questionable, Cam recommends an opera about a frat boy to everyone and we talk about the best way to get spiders out of the shower. We also solve the mystery of Aro's onion skin and talk about more confusing vampire biology. Also Halloween is coming soon! Wh...

We are done prerecording and are back to our usually scheduled nonsense! Join Em and Cam as we discuss our new living situations, dive into some fun Volturi lore, and contemplate whether or not Aro has layers like Shrek. Spoiler alert: methinks he does!

Join us on episode 35 where we talk about some actual good media for about 5 minutes before remembering we are a Twilight podcast. Cam declares she will go back in time to prevent bad 2000's fashion, we criticize the Cullens' cars and question (again) Edward's stupid sparkle plan. With Edward back... it's return to simp city.

Because of contractual obligations we did have to do an episode about the worst chapter in this book, chapter 19 which is nothing but a series of flights and Bella being upset. In a surprising twist Cam actually does some research about the city of Volterra. We also question Edward's sense of drama because who actually thinks sparkles are scary??

In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapter 18 of New Moon and discuss Bella's constant need to apologize, how Jacob is a shitty friend and Stephenie Meyer's bad foreshadowing. If there are any conclusions to draw in this chapter it's that Edward has the audacity. Spoiler alert: they don't go to Jacksonville. Also aside from our usual wish for Bella to go to therapy we think she should probably g...

In this episode of Unbitten, we discuss chapter 17 of New Moon and approaching plot! Alice is here and we are so glad for it. We question how Alice's visions work, see that Jacob is a shitty friend and at last we get the scoop on what the Cullens have been up to since leaving Forks. Where is our dark academia college version of Twilight? Please!   Note there is a trigger warning for discussio...

This week, Em and Cam talk about literally anything other than New Moon. Okay, well, we do talk about New Moon. But there are lots of tangents, including but not limited to Monsters Inc, Fortnite, and a multimillion-dollar fur suit drycleaning service. But on the actual topic of the book, we discuss Bella's confusing thought processes and poor analysis of a famous Shakespeare play, as well as Jaco...

In this spicy episode covering chapter 15 of New Moon we get into a deep discussion on how to improve werewolves, thoughts toxic relationships and also unpack Bella's cliff-diving desires. Once more we preach that everyone needs therapy! Content warning for discussing the topic of drowning as well as trigger warnings for discussion of glorification of death, self harm and suicidal ideation from 47...

In this episode, Cam figures out the entire plot of the series. For real. Go listen, we're not even kidding.

Cam and Em release their full unhinged energy in discussing chapter 13 where we spend more time talking about anything else but the book. Emily does some math (sorry!) and proves S. Meyer never thinks (again). We debate what we would do if our kid was a furry and also what it means to be critical of media.

Welcome back! This week, both of our idiot protagonists decide to make attempts at intelligent thought, Bella's dreams get too OP, and Jacob has a strange but fitting kink. Also, Bella is a limp noodle and Sam is probably still t posing.

Join us in an (finally) exciting chapter with questionable cult activities, a confrontation in the woods, a man who hates that he's a monster - wait is this just Twilight again? Different man, same problems. Also Charlie is a good dad but once again ruins it by reminding everyone he is a cop.

Cam and Em are both a year older and a year dumber, and they are back to talk more about New Moon. In Chapter 10 we finally get some plot, run into a familiar but unfriendly face, and meet the mysterious giant bear(s). We also talk about mono, peppa pig, the monstrous feminine, and Jacob's wolf form being dummy thicc.

It's ARIES SEASON!!! Welcome back for a chapter filled with awkward encounters and secondhand embarrassment - that's right, it's chapter 9 of New Moon! Once again we find ourselves asking when will Mike stop as we tread the swampy grounds of this movie theatre scene. We chat about our own worst moments throwing up, officially convert to Team Jacob, and, of course: reminder to stream Montero (Call...

Once again we are asking for Bella to get some help. Chapter 8 takes us through a lesson on motorcycle parts, Cam simping for shirtless Jacob, and a 5 minute quest to figure out how a compass and grid pattern might work.

In episode 22 we cover Chapter 7 of New Moon: Repetition. There's a lot to unpack in this episode: primarily learning that Emily doesn't know how to make Lasagna, when god, WHEN will Mike stop, and secret culty werewolf lore maybe? We also briefly turn into a Maximum Ride podcast and learn the deep lore about what really made Cameron queer.

Join us as we cover chapter 6 and delve into why we are now Team Jacob, Bella's depression and why Emily is so fragile she teared up three times in this chapter. Sometimes its just nice for people to have nice things in their life and we feel that way about this chapter.