Tune Change

It’s a Swiss band that says they’re Celtic and you assume is Nordic doing songs about entering the oblivion even though they said they’re going into the pandemonium. FINE THEN. Let the hard frost freeze your roots and numb your senses as we ask: What genres are present (in terms of parts per million)? What’s ‘ol Tommy HellHammer got up his sleeve this time? Hey, didn’t this bell toll for thee alre...

Like a rocky Nordic ridge, there are peaks and there are valleys, both extreme. Put another Eurovision trophy on the mantle as we ask: Who got musical in my discotheque? Who got discotheque in my musical? Can you feel the music industry slowly draining the joy from this enterprise, Fernando? For fans of: maximalism, matching jumpsuits, and a hint of Latin flavor.

Weird guys talk weird guys who talk mostly about weird guys. Get your weird ass over here so we can ask you some questions: You get a load of that fella? Would you like to know round ‘bout how many years it’s been since we seen him and the sorts of things he would often say? What are the stories behind the music? For fans of: one band and one band only, festival circuits (plural), and tolerating y...

 Lower your denominators and ask: A clip show already? Will the Deftones forgive us? Which President is it not unlike? For fans of: snares tuned high, guitars tuned low, self-awareness simultaneously tuned high and low.

Can’t sell out if you don’t got choruses. Put a bunch of stickers on your bass and ask: Did you know the guitar strap is adjustable in both directions? Can we be serious for a minute, or maybe even more than a minute? Should skateboarding continue not being a crime? For fans of: verse/verse/verse, addressing the president directly, and fart noises as a personality trait.

Featuring our friend from real life and the podcast Nailed, Blake. Cheek, kink, and camp—we’ve got it all! Yawn for the camera as we ask: What sort of lads are we dealing with here? Can you let the lady sing a song? What King of the Hill thing are you thinking about? For fans of: dance sensations, hearing the parody first, and knowing the difference because it could mean your life.

Bad news , w e tricked you into joining our sleep study. Imagine your breath as the gentle rhythm of a distant sea and ask: Did you hear that rumor about us? Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here ? S o you could sit me here next to Britney Spears? For fans of: in-between Strat positions, sterile laboratories , and Sheryl Crow’s less difficult material.  

We swapped microphones every few words for this one. Walk calmly but quickly away from Steven Tyler and ask: Were we supposed to do basslines for all of them ? Which 30-year-old cheerleader is it not unlike? What does Jewel think about all this? For fans of: VH1 through the ages, authorial intent, and desperately grasping for Run DMC’s coattails.  

Joe Strummer is going to be so mad. Keep your voice down while we ask: Not English enough, ha? How can such a small island support so many supermarket chains? If the band doesn’t work, maybe film school? For fans of: Intended puns, all English everything, and superfluous ‘postrophes that’s all scatter’d 'round.  

Monoliths and Dimensions   The producer is giving us the “stretch it out” signal. Come to the far north of…oh, America. That’s disappointing. But anyway: What kind of amps do y’all use? How much greater is the whole than the parts? Are we gonna do Stonehenge tomorrow night? For fans of: DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN, commitment to the bit, and lying in the bed you made.  

The Golden Casket   Let’s see what most of the boys have been up to. Push/pull from above and below the stars and dirt and ask: How many Modest Mouses are there these days? Did we give Jeremiah Green enough to do? Can the love of a child melt even the coldest of hearts? For fans of: Creative direction, things and the opposite of those things, and kidding because you love the major third interval.

Deguello   Honestly, the unexamined life sounds pretty fun. Bring A MINIMUM OF one friend and ask: Does this everyday object remind you of anything? Can you play the blues without having them? Qualis artifex pereo? For fans of: Careful sequencing, incrementalism, and that sweet Donahue sound.  

Wait, I just got it. Wink at your art school friends and as k: evil robot space carnival? Pretty impressive, huh? What hath Paul wrought? For fans of: nearly one song per side, evil clowns who won’t cover you in root beer , and, if we’re being honest, lots and lots of keyboards .   Programming note: Matt had a recording mishap, so he sounds a bit different this episode. The dulcet tones will retur...

Unnamed others are the disease, and Hatebreed’s got the cure. Look out for each other in the pit and ask: Are you talking to me? Does this read a little different in the current climate? Why don’t we just skip to the breakdown ? For fans of: perseverance, undifferentiated sludge, and OK tastes that taste OK together.  

Songs from the Big Chair   They made most of an album and we made most of an episode about it. Take your sweet time and ask: Will we ever laugh again? What if we slowed it down? Does this seem familiar to anyone else? For fans of: overthinking it, shouting it out, and occasionally requiring a jacket.  

T he four coolest people on Earth got robbed, and now you’re gonna hear some poems. Prepare your guitars and ask: who’s paying for these poet dens? What do the cool kids talk about? Wait, are there other cities? For fans of: r oughly six square blocks of Manhattan, a pre-9/11 world, and seeing how you do up there without all the assistance .

Madonna returns with a vocal coach and a newfound understanding that the world does not disappear when she closes her eyes. Open your heart and ask: who let all these guitars in here? Can anyone compete with this list of singles? Do our speakers suck? For fans of: kidding because you love, carefully produced drum loops, and belting it out.  

It was all happening, man. You just had to be there. Follow us around and ask: can we try that again? Where’s the noodling? Is it really just about the journey? For fans of: heavy air, spiteful disregard of the Boomer canon, and just maintaining , man.

I say we give the robots a shot at it, see what they come up with . Come with us if you want to live and ask: what part of this house are we sharing, exactly? Which drum machine is this? Big Fun, where have you been all my life? For fans of: being big in Europe, beep boops , and the crumbling husk of American industry.  

Just say the wooooooooooord . Se-self-confidence. Scrunch up your sleeves as we get suckered in by the craft and ask: you can, but should you? Which singing drummer is it not unlike? And why can’t rock star marriages stay together anymore? For fans of: preset patches, Live Aid logistics , and basing it on improvisation.

Music preferences might be a costume. Costumes are definitely costumes , though. Numbers 0 and 1 discuss: how many of these guys were essential, really? What’s nu ? Are we having fun yet? For fans of: not calling it nu metal, Robocop, and self-immolation. Are you exactly our age? Perfect.