True Lovefraud Stories

Christopher Lum of California was slapped with two domestic violence restraining orders and ordered to give up his guns. For years, he refused, and no officials did anything about it. But his ex-wife, Erin Lum, kept working to protect herself and her sons. 

Christopher Lum of California said he was a Los Angeles Fireman, former military, a rescue diver — and at first, Erin bought it all. He drew her in, asked for her help, convinced her to have his child, and she was trapped. And then, Chris did the unthinkable. 

Every moment, every experience, may offer us a gift. Dr. Denise McDermott, an adult and child psychiatrist, says that even though an abusive relationship with a sociopath is horrific, it can also be a great teacher. Once we get to the other side of the experience and alchemize the trauma, we may find a greater sense of awareness and self-love.

Lesly Plummer of England wants to protect her granddaughter, who is involved with a controlling man. So Lesly is telling her own story — she was married for 35 years to a man who was condescending and cruel. After leaving him, Lesly learned that there was a reason for his neglectful behavior, and perhaps a deeper meaning to her experience.

Recovery from a damaging involvement with a sociopath is possible. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, says skills of Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT), such as mindfulness, that can help. Your goal is to lower your level of arousal due to stress, and she offers strategies that you can use right away.

Our ability to form relationships with each other is rooted deep in biological foundations. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains four behavioral systems, involving both biology and psychology, that are crucial for our relationships: The attachment or affiliation system, the caregiving system, the dominance system and the sexual system. 

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much? Why does the end of a relationship feel like withdrawal? What is cognitive dissonance? Why do targets of sociopaths lose the ability to think? In part 1 of this interview, Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains the effects of extreme relationship stress.

The romantic relationship “Jessica” had with “Luke” left her feeling confused and abused. As a result, she turned to substances and experienced suicidal ideation. Then Jessica spoke with “Susanna,” who was also involved with Luke — and who endured similar treatment from him. A weight was lifted — Jessica wasn't crazy and the relationship issues were not her fault. Luke was the problem.

All her life, “Susanna’s” greatest interests were psychological thrillers and cults. When she got away from her relationship, she realized that with Luke, she’d been living in one. Susanna wondered if his other women felt the same way, and reached out to his previous girlfriend, Jessica. Yes, their experiences were painfully similar, which helped them both in their recovery.

“Susanna” realized that her boyfriend, “Luke,” had two distinct sides to his personality — one side would never hurt her, and the other could. When things were good, she enjoyed the happiest moments of her life. But when they were bad, she collapsed into a puddle of tears — and Luke didn’t care. Slowly, painfully, she learned the truth about his manipulation.

For months, “Susanna” thought of “Luke” as only a friend. But when she was in need, he rescued her — and from then on, he was more than a friend. Their excursions were full of fun and laughter — but then, when they returned home, Luke withdrew. Had she done something wrong? Did he no longer find her attractive? Susanna could never get an answer, and she felt like she was losing her mind.

Your culture can still support you, even if you’ve left your country. Vjolca Capri, LMHC, QS, NBCC, draws on her Islamic faith and traditions as she works with clients. Expats may miss their homes and have difficulty putting down roots, she explains. What to do? Build a new tribe where you now live. Then draw on the support of your community to solve problems and make decisions — like choosing a m...

Con artists will take advantage anything, including faith, tradition and culture, in order to exploit their targets. “Mariam,” unfortunately, learned this the hard way. She met a prospective suitor on a matrimonial website who seemed to be exactly what she was looking for. In reality, it was a marriage scam. Everything he told her was a lie — he was psychologically, financially and physically abus...

What is depression? Mandy Friedman, LPCC-S, CCDVC, CCTP, is a counselor who specializes in treating victims of abuse, many of whom feel depressed. She explains that depression is a neurobiological and chemical brain state — not necessarily something you can overcome simply through willpower. Mandy explains how she helps clients, and suggests steps you can take towards your recovery. To listen to t...

In the conclusion to this story, “Melissa” finally learned that her boyfriend of seven years, “Kevin,” was a lying cheater throughout their relationship. As a result, she fell into severe clinical depression. But she was determined to not let this man crush her. She developed a three-step plan to take back her power, which contributed to her healing.

“Melissa” and “Kevin” dated for seven years. They bought a house together, and Melissa worked hard to turn it into a cozy home. But even though Kevin proclaimed his love and shopped for engagement rings, Melissa sensed something was amiss. Then she learned, to her horror, that her instincts were correct, and she became determined to take her revenge against the lying cheater.

Brad Robinson, a licensed private investigators, explains the shortcomings of online background checks. Yes, they are inexpensive. But they are also incomplete and can miss information that you need to know. Or, the information that turns up in your report may actually belong to someone else. Plus, the reports themselves can cause problems.

In a prequel to the ‘Let’s buy a Corvette’ episode, Carlo ‘Giovanni’ Malozzi met Kathy online. He kept calling her and sending her pictures, but just couldn’t seem to get around to meeting in person. Then he said he had an emergency and asked for Kathy’s help. His request led to much more than Kathy bargained for.

Giovanni Malozzi wasted no time in letting Linda know that he was interested in her. They met on Saturday, talked on Sunday and started dating on Monday. Linda interpreted his strong pursuit as a sign that he was seriously interested in her. She was correct, but not in the way that she imagined. Giovanni Malozzi had an agenda — for her and multiple other women.

Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains how trauma affects the brain. Stress causes the release of stress hormones, including cortisol. This impacts the immune system, creates toxicity and affects brain function. But, she says, indications are that brain injuries are completely reversible. She offers suggestions on what you can do to heal your brain...

“Tom” and “Amy” married in 1969, while they were both in college. Before the wedding, Amy admitted to Tom that she had not been faithful to him— in fact, she had affairs with three different men. But Tom was willing to let bygones be bygones and move forward together. Once they were officially a couple, he reasoned, his cheating wife would settle down. She didn’t, and Tom paid the price. Years lat...

How do you recover from profound betrayal and trauma? Dr. Denise McDermott, and adult and child psychiatrist, acknowledges each person, she says, experiences grief, loss and shock in their own way. The first step is to take care of yourself, which could mean finding the will to live. Then, Dr. Denise McDermott says to take it one day at a time, asking for the help that you need.

After more than 20 years together, Kimberly Lucas and her partner, Jacquelyn Jamason split up. Three months later, Jacquelyn, the biological mother of their two children, agreed to let Kim have them for a visitation on Memorial Day, 2014. Jacquelyn went on a kayak trip with friends. Kimberly Lucas was supposed to take the children to the zoo and the beach, but her real plans for the day were much...

Don Shipley, is an authentic Navy SEAL (retired). After serving for 24 years, including multiple deployments on SEAL Team One and SEAL Team Two, his mission now is to expose phony Navy SEALs, and he’s busted almost 50,000 of them. In this interview, he explains how he verifies whether a claim of being a SEAL is true or false, how he spots fake documentation, and the first warning sign that someone...

Alejandro Wickham was good-looking, smart, former military, single, no kids — and had a presence that Denise found appealing. After six weeks of dating, he humbly revealed that he had served as a Navy SEAL, and she was even more impressed. Alejandro Wickham decided to pursue powerlifting, and in only two years, became a champion powerlifter. They married, opened a gym together — and then Denise le...