Hemlock Creatives
Trashy Royals
Whether it's the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst . Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.
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Episodes
47. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Unconventional Marriage 22.02.2024 34:27
As the Roaring '20s turned into the '30s, Edwina's appetite for other lovers showed no sign of diminishing, and eventually led to a breaking point with her long-suffering husband, Louis. At one point, they decided that divorce was the best option, but quickly reconciled with new rules for their relationship: Edwina would be more discreet in her dalliances, which had previously been headline news,...
46. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Let the Affairs Begin! 15.02.2024 33:59
It didn't take long for Edwina, young, rich, and alone while her husband Louis was away with the Navy, to begin flirtations and then affairs with various suitors. There were the young men of her social strata, to be sure, but there was also a scandalous rumored fling with the notably female American entertainer Sophie Tucker, "The Last of the Red-Hot Mamas." These affairs took a toll on her marria...
45. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | The Wedding and The Honeymoon... Is Over 08.02.2024 31:31
While Louis and Edwina Mountbatten would have a 38-year-long marriage, it isn't quite right to say it was a happy union. That first six months or so though - when they traveled through Europe and the United States, meeting Charlie Chaplin, Cecil B. DeMille, and dining with President Warren G. Harding - was a magical time for the couple. Once they returned to England and settled into married life,...
44. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Origin Stories and Engagement 01.02.2024 40:20
As many will already know, it was the youngest child of Prince Louis of Battenberg and Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine who would become a prominent figure in the lives of the modern world of the Windsors. Young Louis Battenberg, later Louis Mountbatten, was known as Dickie to his confidants, and was stung early when his father, First Sea Lord of the British Navy, was removed from his post...
43. The Mountbattens | George and Nada Mountbatten 25.01.2024 29:37
Prince George of Battenberg, later the 2nd Marquess of Milford Haven, was the third child of Louis Battenber and Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine, and was by all accounts a pretty good dude. Like his father, he set his sights on a naval career, and excelled at the Royal Naval College in Dartmouth, entering the Royal Navy in time to participate in World War I. His 1916 marriage to Countess N...
Listen Now: Even The Royals 23.01.2024 7:40
Admit it: you’re obsessed with royal families – watching them, gossiping about them, wanting to be them. It’s the stuff of fantasy. But for real life royals, the crown jewels can be more like shiny handcuffs. There are expectations and rules – and if you break them, the consequences are big, and very public. And no, we’re not just talking about Harry and Meghan. There are royal families and wild r...
42. The Mountbattens | Princess Louise of Battenberg 18.01.2024 27:34
The second child of Prince Louis of Battenberg (later, Louis Mountbatten, Marquess of Milford Haven) and Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine was Princess Louise, born July 14, 1889. While most royal were promptly shuttled into marriage, Louise was an independent, progressive young woman whose heart was set on marrying for love. There were suitors, to be sure, but Louise was insistent that she...
41. The Mountbattens | Princess Alice of Battenberg 11.01.2024 46:14
After Louis Battenberg's (later Louis Mountbatten) successful campaign to marry Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine, the couple set about having babies. The first of these, Princess Alice, was born in 1885, and came into the world congenitally deaf. Given the era, no particular accommodations were made for her, and while her condition caused many to underestimate her, she compensated by learni...
40. Meet the Mountbattens! 04.01.2024 32:00
While royal houses are often insular and even incestuous (at least at the cousin-marrying level), new blood does manage to enter those gene pools from time to time. Meet the Mountbattens! The family's story begins in Russia, circa 1850, where the orphaned daughter of a Polish general named Julia von Hauke was serving in the household of Maria Alexandrovna, future wife of future Tsar Alexander II....
39. Eleanor of Aquitaine, Mother of Europe 28.12.2023 38:48
Eleanor's life was no less interesting following the death of Henry II. Rather than fade into the background, her son, King Richard I, instead made her his most powerful deputy in England while he went to the Holy Land on Crusade. In fact, Richard I was an extremely disinterested monarch and spent very little of his decade-long reign in the country. His brother, the future King John, at one point...
38. Eleanor of Aquitaine, Queen of England 21.12.2023 52:51
After Eleanor finally succeeded in ending her marriage to Louis VII of France, she had a brief turn of wedded bliss to the future Henry II of England. It's not that the marriage was short, just her happiness. Henry II, it turns out, was a king of questionable judgment, as Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Becket would find out. He was also loathe to cede power to their children, and little was helpe...
37. Eleanor of Aquitaine, Queen of France 14.12.2023 37:02
History is not without examples of powerful women, to be sure, but even in that pantheon, Eleanor of Aquitaine is a special case. In this first part of her story, Alicia takes us through her early life in the French province of Aquitaine, where her father was the ruling Duke, and her first, disastrous marriage to the future (it turns out by a matter of days) Louis VII of France. A marriage that wo...
36. Empress Matilda (But Not Queen Matilda of England) 07.12.2023 39:55
After the unfortunate incident with the boating accident that killed Heir Presumptive William in 1120, King Henry I had a choice to make when it came to succession planning. While he had nephews through his sister and illegitimate children (galore), it was his daughter Matilda, Holy Roman Empress since her arranged marriage at the age of eight, that he tapped to take the throne when he shuffled of...
35. Henry I of England 30.11.2023 55:39
Today we travel back nearly a millennium to look at three of the sons of William the Conqueror. The first Norman (French) king of England, William of course defeated the English King Harold at the Battle of Hastings in 1066, after which he was crowned King of England, but mostly administered the territory from his duchy in Normandy. An early example of remote work, perhaps. William I implemented a...
34. Maxine Elliott and the Château de l'Horizon 22.11.2023 54:36
At the turn of the last century, the French Riviera was mostly a winter destination for those in colder climates. It turns out that "fun in the sun" and "playground for the rich" are fairly modern concepts, but in a brilliant real estate move, American actress Maxine Elliott created both. Her waterfront Château de l'Horizon, constructed in 1932, became a veritable clubhouse for the rich, famous, a...
33. Monaco's Grimaldis and Princess Grace's Scorpio Party 16.11.2023 1:01:02
The House of Grimaldi has ruled the tiny principality of Monaco since January 8, 1297, when Francois "The Spiteful" Grimaldi disguised himself as a monk and knocked on his uncle's castle door, launching a coup. In the violence that followed, according to legend, a woman - possibly a lover of Francois, possibly a witch he had wronged (can't it be both?) - issued a curse that has resonated across th...
32. Ernie and Ducky, Part Two (Ernest Louis, Grand Duke of Hesse and by Rhine, and Princess Victoria Melita of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) 09.11.2023 43:37
Once their grandmother, Queen Victoria, died in 1901, Ernie and Ducky were finally free to do what everyone sorta kinda understood they should: divorce. But sovereigns don't divorce, so the situation became a scandal in the Royal Houses of Europe, and in Russia, Ernie's sister, Empress Alexandra, blamed Ducky for it all. This became a significant issue for Ducky, who had rekindled her romance with...
31. Ernie and Ducky, Part One (Ernest Louis, Grand Duke of Hesse and by Rhine, and Princess Victoria Melita of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) 02.11.2023 48:14
Queen Victoria's efforts to make suitable matches for her dozens of grandchildren was in no way a flawless endeavor. Take today's subjects, for instance. First cousins Ernest Louis, Grand Duke of Hesse and by Rhine (nickname: Ernie) and Princess Victoria Melita of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (nickname: Ducky), became the subject of intense Royal meddling as Victoria pushed Ernie to propose to Ducky, not...
30. Queen Victoria and Hemophilia 26.10.2023 15:26
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert had a plan to use their nine children to unite Europe's various monarchies into one big, happy family. Unfortunately for those royal houses, Queen Victoria herself appears to have spontaneously developed a gene mutation for the inherited clotting disorder hemophilia. With son Leopold affected, and two of her daughters as unwitting carriers of the disease, royal hou...
29. Prince Albert Victor of England 26.10.2023 28:59
Before he was King Edward VII, Queen Victoria's son "Dirty Bertie" lived a few different lives. There was his endless womanizing and brothel-patronizing, which prompted that nickname, as well as "Edward the Caresser." But after a particular romantic scandal that Queen Victoria blamed for his father's death, Bertie married and fulfilled his duties to the empire to produce heirs (if not to produce a...
28. Young Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany 19.10.2023 28:56
As we continue looking at the lives and times of Queen Victoria's children and grandchildren, we're going to keep bumping into people who changed the course of human history, often for the worse. But when it comes to Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II, Queen Victoria's first grandchild, events beginning with his breech birth lend a bit of context to emotional and moral deformities that he would inflict o...
27. Princess Charlotte of Prussia 12.10.2023 44:04
While the thesis of this podcast is that our betters have always behaved badly, there are examples that really take it to the next level. Meet Princess Charlotte of Prussia, the first granddaughter of Queen Victoria, daughter of Princess Royal Victoria, and sister of Kaiser Wilhelm II, whose reputation for using people as pawns became legendary in her own time. From spreading rumors about her many...
26. Queen Victoria's Nine Children 05.10.2023 41:06
In her first decade and a half on the throne, Queen Victoria was pregnant for more than 40% of it. This was an irony, as she herself disliked the condition of pregnancy, and was no fan of small children, either. And yet, her lusty romance with her husband ultimately produced nine children, and a new project for the English monarchy: using matrimonial ties to stitch Europe into a friendly, peaceful...
25. The Red Archduchess | Elisabeth Marie of Austria 28.09.2023 40:03
Crown Prince Rudolf's death left a young daughter in mourning, but her grandfather, Emperor Franz Joseph, stepped into the breech to become guardian of young Elisabeth Marie, future Archduchess. Though the two were close, Elisabeth was a fiery child who balked at convention, much like her father. She cajoled her grandfather into approving her first marriage, a union unsuitable for her rank, but he...
24. Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria and The Mayerling Incident 21.09.2023 51:13
Content warning: Suicide This week, we take a little trip over to the Austro-Hungarian Emprire in the latter half of the 19th century to meet one of the more scandalous figures of his age - and a man whose death most likely put the world on the path toward World War I. Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria grew up in an emotionally and physically abusive environment, tormented by the military official in...
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