Trandescendant

Society does not have any written rules for how men or women behave. The social aspect of gender is simply "how things are done." But what happens when someone is sending the "wrong" signals? Rya describes her journey as a transgender woman learning to navigate a new set of social rules. From there, Joe and Rya discuss how gender functions in general, and how those subtleties i...

This episode starts by examining honestly the main reasons why some believers feel they must reject gay relationships to follow the Bible. It's not a lack of sincerity. But interpretation is a value judgment. The surface reading of the text is not necessarily the best reading. The Bible is a collection of statements from many viewpoints. Each statement does not carry the same weight. Rya and...

If you're in that place of searching right now, this episode will help you along your way. Rya shares her journey of how she continually weighed the positives and negatives and how agonizing the decision was for her. When enough of the answers converge, there comes a point when you can finally accept who you are inside. Everyone's story is different. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Are you using the wrong words without knowing it? Despite all the best intentions, if we use the wrong vocabulary in talking about LGBTQ issues, we can unintentionally alienate ourselves from the very people we were trying to support. Allies can become a closer part of the group simply by using the language of the community. Once you decide to become a real ally, you naturally start to talk like a...

Coming out of the closet brings a newfound freedom. But it can also be accompanied by great loss. Rya tells her story of coming out, and the loss she experienced. Together, she and her dad explore how the first few stages of grieving can affect a person who has decided to come out. They discuss ways to find hope in the midst of the pain of loss. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Joe tells his journey towards becoming totally accepting towards Rya after she transitioned. How did he feel after the son he thought he had now was presenting as his daughter? They tell the story of the difficulties the family had in coming to a place of acceptance. They look at ways their story can help others when a loved one comes out as gay or transgender. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

What does it mean to "act gay?" We often find ourselves embodying stereotypes. But those stereotypes do not define us. They are often the byproduct of living authentically. It's easy for outsiders to focus only on the mannerisms and never see the real person. The truth about being LGBTQ is that we have the same hopes and dreams as anyone else. Matthew returns to discuss from the hea...

Joe's granddaughter Maya returns to discuss how younger generations are slowly beginning to view orientation and gender as a non-issue. Topics include changes to expectations and gender norms among teenagers and early twenty-somethings. Next, the conversation shifts to younger students, exploring the ways Junior High children are approaching LGBTQ+ issues differently now than even five years...

We like to believe that love and commitment are enough to make a marriage work. But what happens when one partner comes out as LGBTQ+? Is divorce ever the right option? Rya speaks from the heart about her difficult journey coming out to her wife as a transgender woman, and her wife's own struggle at suddenly facing a spouse who could no longer be the man she married. They began with open and...

This episode is everything you've always wondered about "the surgery" but were afraid to ask. Or maybe you weren't afraid to ask, and some poor trans person had to remind you that we don't talk about those things in polite society. Either way, this episode has all your answers. We discuss the various types of surgeries on offer, the history of surgeries, and Rya's own...

Recent debacles involving the school board in Bucks county, Pennsylvania prompted Joe and Rya to have a discussion about how we should approach cultural conflict. When we make a negative display of ourselves, those on the other side can paint us as villains. We end up working against our own society. When others begin to see us as a threat, we lose our own voice and subvert the message we were hop...

Do you believe in love at first sight? Roy and Matthew do. The first time they met, they knew they belonged together. But for each of them, telling friends and family about a new partner also meant coming out as gay. To their surprise, they never anticipated the  sense of freedom that would come with being their most authentic selves. Start the year with a feelgood story that will inspire you to l...

We often contemplate resolutions we can make to improve our lives. Coming off of last week's episode about cultivating self-esteem, Joe and Rya provide seven actionable habits you can implement into your life right now to help you live a more positively. Here are seven actions to strengthen your self-image. It's your privilege and your responsibility. Nobody can build you up better than...

We all have experiences in our lives that tax our self-esteem. It's too easy to let other people's opinions of us make us feel ashamed. We can allow those negative emotions to bring us down...or we can take intentional steps to counteract them and to cultivate positivity. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

As a society, we must always watch out for the marginalized among us. LGBTQ+ elders are among the most vulnerable. Yet most of us have never stopped to consider the unique challenges of aging LGBTQ+ seniors. How can we act with compassion and love towards those who have gone before us? Send us Fan Mail Support the show

There are a lot of ways that people communicate that they are considering suicide. What you may think is only a mood swing may in fact be an indication of something much deeper. Signals could be anything from verbal comments to changes in routine. Our LGBTQ+ loved ones are most at risk. Do you know what to watch for? Are you ready to interpret the signals when they need you most? Educate yourself...

Have you considered forming a support group for LGBTQ+ people and allies? Joe and Rya approached a national organization, PFLAG, about starting a local chapter in their community. The discussion centers on what makes people come, what entices them stay, and what keeps it welcoming. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

November 20 is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. There is still so much violence against transgender people because of transphobia and misunderstanding. Joe and Rya offer suggestion for how each of us can make a difference. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

You wanted a nice, happy time together with your family. But Uncle George just can't let things be! And Casey is manufacturing new things to be offended by. With the holidays coming up, we want to minimize potential arguments between people who don't always see eye-to-eye. It's not easy, but there are ways to create an environment that fosters love. Rya and Joe explore ideas from tw...

Some people don't want an actual dialogue about LGBTQ people, they just want a debate. How do you avoid that trap? Anyone who has had their gay or lesbian loved ones' identities dismissed will find a wealth of insight about how to respond. Some people expect answers but are not asking in good faith.  And some questions are not appropriate to ask. Let's find ways to support our loved...

In a recent written exchange, a man approached Rya with concerns about his long-term, committed marriage. He and his wife have children and grandchildren. But he is secretly attracted to other men. He doesn't want to tell his wife because he believes it could only end poorly. Will such a conversation really result in disaster? Joe and Rya discuss the situation from a broader perspective and c...

How do you find your own identity? There are more options than you think. Are you queer? Are you questioning? Or something else? Maybe none of the words really define you. Take the first step toward figuring out how to be the real you. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Churches are like giant families. Just like families,  they can sometimes become abusive. When someone is trapped in a toxic system, the have to leave in order for healing to begin. Some church leaders subvert that process by trying to push those who have been wounded to come back to the church by saying, "Well we're not like the church you used to be in." But for many people in the...

It's great to be an ally, but when you're ready to take the next step, how do you go about it? Often, when we try to be most helpful, we end up making things more awkward. Learn how to communicate true sincerity, not just with words, but also with actions. This episode gives tips to point you in the right direction. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Really? Who gets to choose what's best for someone? Who makes the rules? Parents often say, "I only want what's best for you," with the hope that their children will understand their good intentions. But is it really honest care and concern? Is it unsolicited advice? Or is it nothing more than manipulation? Joe and Rya discuss how to tell the difference between genuine love and...