Tony Funderburk Archives - Tony Funderburk

Right up front, I gotta say it. And I know this is anathema to the enlightened, evolutionary worldview. But here it is. There’s no such thing as fossil fuel. Bam! I just attacked the whole fossils evolution connection. And, no, there won’t be a forthcoming retraction or apology. Because the fossils evolution connection is a fairy tale. And I probably shouldn’t say that. Because i...

I first shared this song over a dozen years ago. And about eight years ago I showed how the lyrics explained more of the whole person who created you and me. I went through the words a little at a time and put the explanation in blue. For anyone who’s interested, here’s a rerun of that explanation for… Give Me The Whole Jesus Oh give me love…give me justice… Right the...

You’ve probably seen one of those movies or TV shows where tough guys (and these days “tough girls”) compare their war wounds. I just saw another one of those comparisons on a rerun of a show I really liked back in the twenty-teens. The first guy said something about a knife slice across his arm. And the second guy one-ups him with a gunshot scar on his shoulder. And so on and so...

Nine years ago I wrote that we live in “particularly dangerous times.” And I’m happy to report that the worst has blown over and you’re safe once again. Go back to your daily routine without worry. And without fear. But remember to thank your government for keeping you covered. Because, without its benign benevolence and actuated authority, I hesitate to think where we’d be. Of course, your daily...

You’ve probably seen or heard those so-called “influencers” who boast (as they insist they’re not boasting) about being able to work from anywhere. And maybe they even show you some tropical sights while a steel drum band delivers up some musical beach sounds. Come to think of it, that doesn’t sound half bad right about now. But I digress (or do I?). Pardon me for a s...

I watched a couple of awful videos today. Somebody shared them on social media. More pieces of evidence that clearly show how the drugs don’t work. Well, unless the goal was to create more whacked-out freakazoids. And thieves and thugs. And maniacs and murderers. Yeah, if that was the goal, the drugs are on the mark. But the drugs don’t work if the goal is something more benevolent. An...

Warning. Blatant and obvious bias just ahead. I’m a musician. And I’m gonna share information with you that emphasizes the powerful, therapeutic advantages of music. So, you might feel yourself being drawn toward buying some of my music. And I want you to know, up front, that’s not my goal. In fact, I’d prefer you don’t buy music from me. Because my ultimate goal is to live completely and totally...

The first century Christians were committed to one another. Christians today? Not so much. Sure, there are small cliques. But, as a whole, it’s a divided faith. And splintered, sometimes, by just the meaning of a single verse. Or even a single word. Want an example? OK. Christians today split up over the word, tithe. I just scanned an article with this title: “Which denomination tithes...

Ever wonder why God made everything the way He did? If you don’t believe in God, you might as well skip past me and my writing. Because I’m gonna be wondering around creation for just a bit. And you might find my words of adoration and love too syrupy. And I said “wondering around” on purpose. Here’s the Tony take. And I think it IS (or should be) clear that none of u...

It’s a weird and wicked world. And all the worldly dots are connected. And I arrived at this thought due to following along some of those dots just now. One leap led me to discover what a vitriolic sphere is. Check out this description I found: “You point at a place within range, and a glowing 1-foot ball of emerald acid streaks there and explodes in a 20-foot radius. Each creature in...

You ALWAYS have a third choice. Despite what 99% of movies, TV shows, and songs would have you believe, you do. When you’re told you only have two choices, take a little time to think that through. Very often, the reason they say that is just because that’s what they’ve heard. And the people who told them that heard it somewhere else. And so on, and so on, and so on. Two choices...

The history of Play Dough (also known as Play Doh) is interesting. Because it actually started out as a product to help people clean the wallpaper in their homes. Wait. Play Dough cleaned walls? Huh? Yeah, a guy named Cleo McVicker created the stuff back in the 1930’s. His soap company, Kutol Products, was about to go out of business. But he negotiated a contract, with the Kroger grocery cha...

I’m gonna rant and rave. And, although I can’t speak for him (especially since he’s got other things on his mind besides music, these days) I think Buddy Holly would back me up on this. If you’ve never heard of Buddy Holly, or don’t know any of his music, that reference is gonna be way over your ears. Anyway… My rant and rave is about your rants and raves. Well,...

If you’re old enough to remember back to the 60’s, or maybe even 50’s, you know full well that life is short. Right? I mean, how could it already have been this many years since then? If your memory goes back that far, you probably remember life being a lot simpler. And nicer. And sensibler (I know that’s not a word, but I wanted to make it fit in. So there.) But if you&#82...

I love how I can charge up my mobile devices and take them with me and use them for hours without even plugging in. Because it would be awful if I had to take a gas-powered generator with me everywhere. And keep it running while I got my work done. Can you visualize a bunch of remote workers, in coffee shops trying to talk (or think) over all that racket? But there ARE some crude oil advantages ov...

Oh yeah. You better believe I’m gettin’ my fair share. And I don’t care how many rich people have to ante up till I get it. Because I’m an American. And I want my piece of the American dream. I earned it. It’s my birthright as an American citizen. And, by golly, I’m gonna get it. So, I’m gonna vote for candidates who’ll make sure I get my fair share....

If I’m elected, I’ll do my best to restore whirled peas. And bring hominy to every household. Because, c’mon people. Can’t we all just get along? After all, we’re one race. So, that’s a great starting point. And speaking of whirled peas and hominy. Let’s talk about how segregation can be a useful tool. That shouldn’t offend anybody. Right? Hello? Hey...

I worked in a disco. Yep. It’s true. I was a bartender. And I also worked as what they called a “floorwalker.” That was one of the guys who (you guess it) walked around the floor to make sure they were having a good time and behaving. And at the end of the night, I sang Better Off Dead. (Are you with me so far?) I didn’t sing Better Off Dead every night. But it was often. A...

It’s the story of a lilypad, lake, a frog, and a snake. And it shows how what you think about yourself isn’t necessarily what anyone (or everyone) else thinks about you. This lilypad lake story starts out like this: So, once there was a lilypad that no frog ever used. You wouldn’t think a lilypad could get its feelings bruised. But sure enough this lilypad cried to itself each ni...

You can learn to fly. And it won’t cost you lots of money for oodles of hours of training. AND you’ll be able to fly up to the sky much faster than technology can take your text across the globe. What do you say? Interested? All you gotta do, to be able to fly up to the sky like that, is learn from your mistakes. Uh-oh. The proverbial fly in the ointment. Right? Because humans seem to...

Dream Town. I remember playing a multi-timbral sound on my fairly new Korg Triton keyboard several years ago. And the ethereal setting immediately set my imagination in motion. It was one of those magical moments songwriters love almost as much as anything. At least I do. And that particular moment took me to Dream Town. If you’re a songwriter, you know what I mean when I say the song flowed...

Several years ago I shared an old love song I wrote. It wasn’t for anyone in particular. I guess it was sort of a culmination of feelings and thoughts from different relationships. But I’d be willing to bet this melancholy art is a reflection of more than just MY experiences. I’m sharing the lyrics to this melancholy art, down below. And I’m gonna share the only recording I have...

Huey shared the news back in the 80’s. Jennifer Rush wrote about it back in 1984. And Céline Dion repeated Jennifer’s message in 1994. That message was about the power of love. And people evidently were open to the idea. Because they all had big hits with their songs. But none of them had a clue about the never-ending power of love. And, of course, I don’t mean the power of love...

The butterfly effect and chaos theory originated in hopeless minds. There. I said it. And it’s up to you to convince me I’m wrong. Otherwise, I’m right. But just because those minds were hopeless doesn’t mean there’s not an infinite amount of reasons to remain hopeful. Far from it. The butterfly effect doesn’t account for Truth. And truth provides the conclusion...

It’s so sad that so many people believe you can kill a little boy or girl just because of how they look or where they live. And I mean the very youngest boys and girls. The most innocent boys and girls. The boys and girls who can’t even fight for themselves. Can’t even say a word. And, of course, I mean the tiny boys and girls that cellular biology shows exist from the moment of...