Toddler Purgatory

Babies are mysterious creatures, which is why Molly and Blaire took to the What Fresh Hell Facebook group to ask: "What is something you wish someone had told you before having a baby?" From how long it can take to get pregnant, to the likelihood your little one will love carrots for a year before turning on them for no apparent reason, laugh along as Toddler Purgatory gets to the bottom of all th...

Kids are bananas. Some particularly so. But why are some kids seemingly born to scale the kitchen cabinets before they can walk? And are there are any future upsides to having been a “danger baby”?  In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss the many benefits of “free play,” the differences between danger and risk, how we can teach our little ones to be safely courageous, and what child development...

When did kids' birthday parties become such a big to-do? Why do we celebrate birthdays in the first place? What sound does a clown make? Blaire's and Molly's sons are both turning six within five days of each other, so listen in as they party plan and take a trip down memory lane about their own birthdays growing up. Blaire and Molly discuss: Memorable birthdays from their childhoods The average p...

Does your child consistently wake you up in the middle of the night because they're deathly afraid of the dark or the monsters under the bed? You may think that chasing "the monster" away or just leaving the lights on are the right course of action, but it's actually more complicated than that. Molly and Blaire discuss: Why so many people (adults and kids!) are scared of the dark The true secret t...

We're all ready to go All The Places after being stuck at home for so long, but traveling with little ones presents a few layers of challenge. How far in a day is too far? Does visiting family count as a "vacation"? What's the right age for Disney World? If the kids are happy at the indoor hotel pool, and you never get to the sightseeing, do you still win Parent of the Year for remembering the swi...

How do we talk to our kids about things we ourselves don't even fully understand? Some of the most difficult topics to discuss with kids are sex, death, illness, divorce, and natural disasters or tragedies. Molly and Blaire give recommendations for taking care of yourself, guiding the conversation, and avoiding euphemisms or metaphors that may be more harmful than helpful. Molly and Blaire discuss...

Listener Amy had this question for us in our Facebook group: My daughter is turning three in one week and her nearly overnight transition to mob boss terrorist monster is complete. It would help to hear from other parents that this is normal and maybe one day she will be my sweet baby again? Or just not a mob boss terrorist at least?? Three ages enter. Only one emerges. Is it the terrible twos tha...

How do we form a strong bond with our kids when we're struggling with our own issues, when we've just been through a worldwide pandemic, when we used to have that bond but have lost it somewhere along the way? It's not easy, but there are some tried-and-true methods *ahem, therapy* for forming or reforming a close bond with your child. Molly and Blaire discuss: Things that can get in the way of th...

What do we do when our kid lies to our face? At a certain age, kids start discovering that they can just, well, not tell the truth about things. This can range from innocent fibs to whopping lies of grandiose proportions. Though this be mini madness, there is mini method in it. Molly and Blaire discuss: The various reasons kids lie How to gently approach your kid about their lies When it may be ti...

Is your child learning values or lessons at school that are not in line with your own? Do they discipline in a way that you don't agree with? It's not unusual for teachers and parents to butt heads over a child's learning. Here's how to address the problem without coming in too hot. Blaire and Molly discuss: The importance of finding (and staying) calm before starting a discussion How to find comm...

Regression is what happens when a child revisits an earlier stage of his or her development– and behaves accordingly. Paradoxically, regression can happen right after a child makes a developmental leap or meets a new milestone. Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, suggests that regression is a manifestation of the constant push-and-pull little kids feel...

Transitions are hard for little kids, and it’s not hard to see why: they usually move a kid from something that they’re absorbed in and enjoying to something a lot less interesting and fun. In this episode we talk about how to deal with the meltdowns, talking back, and general resistance around transitions, and how to make those moments easier, whether it’s a “big picture” transition like starting...

Studies indicate that up to 50% of children experience a sleep problem. When babies and kids don't sleep moms don't sleep either– so this week we're talking to a sleep expert! Becca Campbell is the founder and creator of Little Z’s® Sleep Consulting , where parents can easily get sleep help through online courses for children ages 0-5 years old. Becca's courses and her Little Z's Sleep Podcast hav...

Mom guilt. Mom rage. Shame. We feel the things. Then we feel bad about feeling the things. Which doesn't help us feel any better. In this episode we discuss how to acknowledge, anticipate, sit with, process, and redirect these feelings, without beating ourselves up for having felt them in the first place. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Pooja Lak...

If you have more than one kid, you are pretty familiar with sibling rivalry. The constant squabbling can drive us nuts, but it’s important to remember that it’s less about whatever toy they’re fighting over at the moment than about birth order, family dynamics, and their competing desires for our attention. We can’t stop the bickering forever, but there are ways to minimize conflict and maximize p...

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big picture, hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our...

Why are parents so tired all the time? Perhaps it’s the whole not sleeping thing. But a recent study on maternal exhaustion found that perfectionism is also a huge factor. In other words, we run ourselves ragged making things nice for our loved ones, and then are too exhausted to enjoy those things ourselves.  In this episode, we talk about how our exhaustion affects our parenting, how the pandemi...

Do you have a kid who insists that a sandwich is inedible unless it is cut in half instead on the diagonal? A child who won't allow you to sing in the car? A little one who insists that every truck that is not a pickup truck must be deemed a "regular truck"? If so, you have labored under the strict dictatorship of Little Kid Rules. On this episode Blaire and Molly dive in to why little kids have s...

A good morning starts with a good night before. Kids who are well-rested tend to have an easier morning the next day. Any prep we can do the night before– laying out clothes, prepping breakfast and lunches in advance– can help make the morning routing less chaotic. The morning routine also brings us back to the classic parenting rule "Put your own oxygen mask on first." If you can take even a litt...

When you have little ones, you end up with a mountain of stuff you probably didn't need to buy– and a few things that are total sanity-savers. In this episode we're talking about all the stuff that got us through, and still is! Most of these are to help us take care of the kids. A few of them are just for us. Here's a list of all the must-haves we discuss.... If your podcast app doesn't support cl...

Our child has finally realized they are separate from us. Yay! Aaaaaand cue the separation anxiety. The fact that separation anxiety signals growth in kids doesn't make it any easier for mother or child. But there are coping strategies on both sides that can ease some of the pain. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: What separation anxiety looks like in different ages (and in moms) The tend...

How young is too young to drive your kid three states away for a lacrosse tournament? Is it 5? (Yes, yes it is.) It's tempting to use sports to teach our kids valuable lessons, tire them out, and groom them for the Olympics. But sports for young kids are intrinsically valuable, even without structure, competition, or score keeping. And why would you want your kids to grow up to make millions of do...

Sometimes we wish we could just get away from it all. Is that wrong? We love our families! Even with that love in our hearts, it's tempting to yearn for a room of one's own with a solid, soundproof door. We asked our listeners what they would do with one entire week off, and for many of them it involved a lot of TV, snacks, and, in some cases, the cast of Queer Eye. In this episode. Molly and Blai...

Happy Father's Day! This episode, Molly and Blaire talk to their respective dads, Dick and Chuck, about their experiences as fathers and everything they've learned along the way. In this episode, Molly, Blaire, Dick, and Chuck discuss: Differences in parenting across generations What they would tell their past selves Raising foster children How to properly make gin and tonics Learn more about your...

When we see parents absolutely losing it at their children– and maybe even laying hands on them–are we obligated to act? Prevent Child Abuse America is clear that if you see something, you say something. The harder part is knowing what it is we've seen. We don't always know whether we're witnessing a regrettable but isolated incident or something that’s part of a pattern. We want to make sure we'r...