To Be A Boy

Motherhood is magical… but it can also be utterly exhausting. In this episode of To Be a Boy , Marci El-Deiry, Leader of Philips Mother and Child Care and working parent sits down with Joeli and Elliott to unpack why the world urgently needs to rethink how we talk about mums, selfcare, and the mythical idea of “doing it all.” From the shocking reality that most mums get less than an hour to themse...

We start the podcast’s year off with a super special guest: it’s only the Prime Minister in the chair! This episode of To Be A Boy was recorded in IKEA Croydon, among meatballs and Billy bookcases, where Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley grilled Sir Keir Starmer on the biggest shake-up to workers’ rights in a generation: the Employment Rights Act. We’re talking stronger flexible working laws, miscarr...

We’re back in the studio (and yes, the chairs are dangerously comfy) to celebrate nearly a year of To Be A Boy. From Ruth Whippman’s eye-opening research on raising boys, to Lenore Skenazy convincing us to let kids roam free, to John Amaechi’s powerful truths about identity, we’re unpacking the moments that made us laugh, cry, and rethink everything. Plus, a shout-out to Josh—the 14-year-old geniu...

What does it take to raise a brilliant boy with autism in a world full of stigma, systemic hurdles, and cultural misconceptions? In this episode, childcare lawyer and super-mum Deborah Otubambo shares her 21-year journey of advocacy, resilience, and hope whilst raising a son with autism. From the early days of confusion and cultural stigma to navigating the complex world of EHCPs and education, De...

What does it mean to grow up as a boy today? Spoiler: It’s not all football and moonwalks anymore. In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott sit down with Lee Chambers, psychologist, and founder of Male Allies UK, and all-around champion for modern masculinity. They are unpacking a report that’s both eye-opening and alarming - although there is some hope mixed in too! From boys feeling unh...

In this episode of To Be a Boy, our Elliott and Joeli are getting stuck into the fascinating (and occasionally sobering) world of modern masculinity. Joined by Joe Hall from Channel 4 and Fergus Navaratnam-Blair from the National Research Group, we’re unpacking the findings of the Mirror on Masculinities report. From why a third of men rarely see the kind of bloke they aspire to be in advertising,...

Joeli and Elliott are joined by the inimitable Cindy Gallop to discuss her ground breaking work with Make Love Not Porn, addressing the impact of pornography on societal expectations and relationships. She describes the importance of open conversations about sex and love, particularly in educating children and young adults and the amazing results she’s seen as a direct result of her work. They als...

Joeli and Elliott are taking us through THAT Chanté Joseph Vogue article and asking if and why it’s uncool to have a boyfriend… This episode explores the complexities of modern relationships, the impact of social media, and the evolving roles of men and women. We’re also tackling topics like heterofatalism, the trad wife movement, and the balance of unpaid labour: all in a day’s work.

In this episode, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley are joinedby their favourite guest-slash-interrogator, producer Kaley Botting, for a freewheeling chat spanning everything from International Men’s Day to the emotional fallout of the John Lewis Christmas ad. Expect reflections on parenting, gender disappointment, and why brunch raves might just be the salvation of middle-aged joy-seekers. Also: Elli...

Joeli and Elliott sit down with, yes you heard us right, John Amaechi to talk all things sports, identity and masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and intimacy among men. John reflects on his experiences as a latecomer to basketball and how it shaped his understanding of masculinity. They also roll up their sleeves and delve into the societal pressures surrounding masc...

In this episode of To Be A Boy , Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley sit down with Richard Reeves—author of Of Boys and Men and chair of the UK’s Centre for Policy Research on Boys and Men—for a candid, compassionate conversation about the challenges facing boys and young men today. Together, they explore how schools can better support boys, why male role models matter, and how masculinity can be reima...

In this episode, Joeli, Elliott, and Producer Kaley havetheir first ‘Questions with Kaley’ session. The TBAB team explore the concept of 'the ick' in dating, the importance of emotional support in relationships, and the impact of paternity leave on family dynamics. Joeli passes on some cracking advice about future proofing the dynamic with a Dad and Elliott reveals his Good Man ofmusic, an...

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of To BeA Boy , Joeli and Elliott are joined by the brilliant SarahOckwell-Smith , one of the UK’s leading parenting experts and bestselling author of The Gentle Parenting Book and How to Raise a Teen. Together, they dive deep into the challenges and misconceptions surrounding modern boyhood, masculinity, and parenting, with Sarah offering rich insig...

In this episode Joeli and Elliott speak with Dr. Alex Blowerto dive into the uphill battle faced by working-class boys in education—think less Hogwarts, more hurdles. From aspiration gaps to the masculinity myths messing with motivation, he shares insights, stories, and a few reality checks. It’s time to rethink how we support boys in the classroom.

Join us live from the phenomenal Working Dads’ Summit! In To Be A Boy’s first live recording, Joeli faces a grilling from Elliott. They explore the impact of the motherhood penalty, the importance of parental leave, co-parenting, and the role of support networks for working parents. As per usual, get in touch with your thoughts and questionsat tobeaboyteam@gmail.com

From body image and the pressure to provide, to violence, vulnerability and viral masculinity myths—this episode dives deep into the challenges boys face and how we can support them. Elliott and Joeli chat with Dan Guinness and Ben Hurst from Beyond Equality about what it means to be a boy today. Expect wisdom, warmth, and a few laughs along the way.

In this powerful and practical episode, Joeli and Elliott sit down with parenting coach and founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, Tosha Schore, to tackle one of the toughest topics: aggression in boys. From meltdowns and morning chaos to verbal outbursts and sibling clashes, Tosha shares compassionate, connection-based strategies for helping boys manage big feelings—without shame, blame or punishm...

We’re back! Joeli and Elliott catch up after summer, swap stories about Welsh golf buggies and nudist beaches, and reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of raising boys and returning to school, expect a few tears. Joeli shares her new venture, GrowthSpurt, and Elliott previews the world’s first Working Dads Summit. Plus, a sneak peek at the incredible guests lined up for Series 3, including Richa...

Health educator and author Christopher Pepper joins Joeli and Elliott to talk puberty, masculinity, gaming, anger, love, and what to do when your son might be Googling “how to get bigger muscles.” From emotional literacy to ethical decision-making, this episode is packed with practical advice, heartfelt stories, and laughs for anyone raising boys in today’s world. ----------------- www.talktoyourb...

In this warm, funny, and deeply insightful episode, Joeli and Elliott are joined by author and boy-mum extraordinaire  Uju Asika , whose latest book  Raising Boys Who Do Better  is a hopeful guide for parenting boys in today’s complex world. From cuddles and culture clashes to clitoris conversations and pickled onion Monster Munch, this episode dives into the joys and challenges of raising boys wi...

Joeli and Elliott are joined by Owen Thomas and Chris Stein from Future Men to explore how we can better support boys in today’s world. From redefining masculinity and tackling stereotypes to practical tools for parents and educators, this episode is packed with insight, humour, and hope. ---------------------------- futuremen.org workingdadssummit.com

Dr. Michele Borba joins Elliott and Joeli to explore why boys today are more anxious, lonely, and stressed—and what parents can do to help. From bedtime chats to ukulele therapy, this episode is packed with practical tips, heartfelt stories, and a few laughs. Discover how small acts (like a Post-it note) can make a big impact. https://micheleborba.com

Joeli and Elliott reflect on the emotional leap from primary to secondary school — for kids and parents alike. From leavers’ assemblies and letting go to puberty, peer pressure and parenting panic. They share personal stories, expert advice from Caroline Jacobs, and advice on surviving the summer holiday chaos — with your sanity (mostly) intact.

We’re joined by the legendary Steve Biddulph—psychologist, global parenting guru, and the reason many of us still believe we can survive the teen years—we dive headfirst into the wild, wonderful, and sometimes worrisome world of raising boys. Expect laughter, maybe a tear or two, and plenty of “aha!” moments as we explore modern boyhood with someone who’s seen it all. Steve brings compassion and c...

Elliott and Joeli tackle the urgent topic of online safety, sharing scary stats like children in the UK spending an average of 134 minutes a day on TikTok and 49 minutes on Instagram in 2024, with 36% of kids aged eight to 17 having seen something worrying or nasty online in the past year. Joined by Peter Kyle, Secretary of State for Science, Innovation and Technology, they explore the government’...