Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Is it easy or hard for you to support the dreams of others? Think carefully, because one of the most common human behaviors is to hear someone’s dreams or plans and tell them why they won’t work. You care about them and don’t want to see them fail. Now does that sound like you? Here’s why you might want to squelch that well-meaning negativity and support them in their dreams:, because dreams can a...

Have you had your heart broken? Most of us have, and it’s not a fun feeling, right? I remember crying so hard after the love of my life left me that I thought all the moisture in my body was going to come out through my eyes if I didn’t find a way to stop. Been there too? When the waterworks stop, we generally go through phases of blame, phases of shame, and sometimes even beating up on ourse...

There is belief, and there is faith, and there is knowing. What’s the difference? The differences are subtle, for sure, and the lines blur from one word to the other to the other. Belief is something you think is true because of your own past experience. Faith is something you believe is true because of a desire for it to be true, coupled with a shared expression of your faith, and it can be about...

Do you ever have days when you feel limited by life’s circumstances? Like all the light has gone out of you, and you’re just a smoldering wick? You haven’t lost your light, it’s just misplaced for the moment. You can shine, no matter what your personal circumstances. If you’re feeling limited by your physical body, you can still shine – look at Stephen Hawking, the physically paralyzed, mentally a...

Are you a caretaker of things and people? Is that who you are, deep down? Does it fill you up when you’re able to help someone? Do you get puddles in your eyes when you can offer advice that a person needs to hear and truly appreciates? Do you look for the best in people? If you said “yes” to some or all of these, then you lead with love, and those who lead with love are leaders by example. You do...

What do you do every day that feeds your soul? And what the heck is “feeding your soul” and why is it so important? There’s not a scientific definition for soul-feeding, though research does show that finding a way to distract yourself from problems is very beneficial to mental wellbeing. So what is feeding your soul? It could be anything – meditation, going for a run, talking with someone importa...

When was the last time you felt joy? Excitement? Anticipation? Trepidation? Irritation? Fear? Depending on which research study you believe, humans have either 8 or 27 or 34,000 different emotions. If you think about the many different ways you have felt in your life, you realize that counting them doesn’t matter – feeling them does. It’s not possible to be deliriously happy 100% of the time, and...

Are you at odds with someone, and maybe thoughts of the situation are swirling in your head? Maybe it’s someone who wronged you, maybe it’s someone who’s not upholding their end of an agreement, maybe it’s someone you interact with a lot that just irritates the life out of you. Whatever the case is, you’re having a mini-meltdown about them inside your head. If you’re like most people, you know abo...

Do you know someone who complains a lot? Maybe you? People complain for a lot of reasons – to feel like they’re solving a problem by shining a light on it, to commiserate about a shared condition, and of course, the chronic complainers, who have complained so often for so long that they’ve literally re-wired their brain into a full-service complaint department. Complaining isn’t in your DNA. It’s...

Are you more open-minded or closed-minded? Most people are pretty open-minded…right up until they aren’t. For instance, I’m live and let live about politics and religion and who people love, and don’t get me started on the people who think my dogs should have the same rights as humans have. That’s where I have to remind myself that everyone is entitled to their opinions. That’s a good strategy for...

Some of the worst advice given to teens who are trying to decide about a career path is to research what the global marketplace needs. Does the marketplace need salespeople? Then they need to focus on sales. Does the marketplace need accountants? Then they need to get a degree in accounting. Does it look like more lawyers will be needed in the next decade? Then they need to study law. What about w...

Do you run and hide when you’re about to cry? When you get mad, do you suck it up it and seethe inside when you’d rather let your anger fly? Listen, this used to be me, too – I’d do anything not to cry in front of people, and perfected the fine art of a placid face when someone ticked me off. I can promise you – that’s not the best way to deal with your emotions. When you bottle them up, it’s bad...

When you’re in conversation with someone and they get something factually wrong, do you correct them? Here are three reasons you might not want to do that. You know how it feels when someone corrects you? Yeah – it feels like that to others, too. It’s not your job to make sure everyone is on the same page as you unless you are the other person’s supervisor. Even then, correct carefully – maybe som...

Do you take your responsibilities seriously? Are you someone who drives yourself to do everything you see that needs doing, whether it’s yours to do or not? Stop. The success of every person in your office doesn’t rely only on you, and when you pick up the slack for others, you deprive them of the chance to learn and grow. In a work situation, when you get outside your lane, people can get defensi...

Do you often feel stressed? This Tiny Bite is for you, though you may not like it very much. Please don’t let it stress you out when I tell you that most of the stress you feel isn’t because of what is happening around you – it’s because of how you’re reacting to what’s happening around you. Let me say that again…your stress isn’t caused by what’s happening around you, it’s caused by how you’re re...

Are you someone that people might see as quiet? In a group, do you do more listening than talking most of the time? Do you feel like people overlook you because of your silence? That’s common – don’t take it personally and don’t get your feelings hurt by it. Know this – when people assume that you’re uninteresting or – gasp! – even boring, it’s their loss. There are tons of truths about quiet...

Did you know you are magical? I don’t mean Disney princess magical, or Hogwarts magical, or genie in a bottle magical, though maybe you are those kinds of magical, too. Your kind of magical is your set of superpowers. The things that come easily to you literally can’t be done by millions of people. The way your friends and family come to you for advice or soothing, or just to be close to you for a...

Have you recently suffered a setback? Are you having a tough time motivating yourself to get going again? It can be very hard to get moving when you’ve had a major upheaval in your life, like the loss of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, or a job loss. Yes, it hurts – that’s normal. It’s going to take some time before the hurt stops, and you can shorten that time by being intentional about...

When people ask, “What’s new?” they’re usually asking about the little things in your life, not the big ones. What if the answer is something big and even a bit intimidating – what’s up with that? Big new life events, even when it’s something you’ve worked for, planned for, or dreamed of, can make you feel like you’re on shaky ground, and that’s normal. What is new is unfamiliar. What is unfamilia...

Think back to the last time you were at a low point in life. We all have them. What was your brain saying to you as you were living through the low point? Can you conjure up the words? Everyone’s life has low spots, tragic events, and places where they wish they’d have done something differently or better. The self-talk that focuses on those parts of life is the destructive self-talk, the kind tha...

Did you grow up concerned about your grades, anxious to be on the honor roll and dean’s list, turning in extra credit projects, and dreading having to miss school because you were sick? Would you be surprised if I told you that’s the beginnings of a control freak? OK, “freak” is pretty harsh, and please don’t take it as an insult because I’m talking about me, too. If we studied hard enough, we wou...

Did someone call you “crazy” today? Yay, you! OK, did you just call me crazy for congratulating you on being called crazy? Hear me out – it’s good to stand up and stand out, because that means you stand for something. You have the courage of your ideas and beliefs, and you value them so much you want others to benefit from them too. People who are willing to share their ideas, whether they’re conf...

Want to change the world? There are a lot of people who dream of making a difference, of living a purpose, and of changing the world. I have two words for you if you want to change the world: speak love. Talk to others like you value them, and listen to them with your heart, not just your ears. Talk to yourself like you value you, and nurture your needs, wants and desires as if they’re the garden...

Has life handed you a challenge where you feel like the victim? Stop! When you paint yourself as the victim, you are the ultimate loser. You can’t win when you’re feeling sorry for yourself, because you cut yourself off from avenues for growth and learning. Sure, you might get some sympathy, which can feel good in the moment, but here’s what ultimately happens: those who feel sorry for you will ev...

Have you heard the saying “good fences make good neighbors”? It’s easier to stay civil when everyone stays on their own lawn, taking care of their own stuff. In the same way, good boundaries make good relationships. Knowing what you will and won’t put up with, and being very clear and consistent with others about your desires, makes it easy for you to see when someone is violating your boundaries,...