Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Do you have co-workers or do you have friends? Hopefully you don’t have enemies at work! If you’re like most people, some of the people you work with are friends, and most are co-workers. How different would going to work feel if more of your co-workers felt like friends? It doesn’t take a lot to foster a more positive relationship with co-workers, because you already start off with something big...

When someone says something and you instantly take offense, you have just given your power away to that person. Wait – what? Yep, whenever you react without thinking, you’ve demonstrated that the event or person who caused the reaction is more powerful than you. Let’s say you always get mad when you’re driving behind a van or truck. Why wouldn’t you be mad? After all, you can’t see through the veh...

Are you doubting yourself? Imposter syndrome is endemic in our society – media is constantly reminding us we’re not thin enough or pretty enough or curvy enough or smart enough or whatever enough, and sadly, many people buy into those impossible-to-live-up-to standards. When you find yourself feeling less than, or not up to the challenge of doing something you want to do, stop. Remind yourself of...

Want to become a great leader? And what does being a great leader mean to you? If you lead a team or want to lead a team, you owe it to the people you lead to be the kind of leader they need. What the heck does that mean? The Gallup team condensed the capabilities of a great leader into four key attributes: trust, compassion, stability, and hope.  People need someone they feel trusts them and...

There are a lot of ways to cope with a painful experience. Some people cry for days, some people lash out at anyone who tries to help, some people self-medicate with food or sex or drugs, and some people withdraw into themselves, waiting for the pain to subside. What’s the right way to cope with a painful experience? Find a way to distract yourself until you regain your balance – take a walk, take...

Many people dream of doing something that they never do. Why? Because they don’t believe in their ability to achieve that dream. It could be because they were raised by people who believed in hard work, not dreams. It could be because they have been told by people they hold in high regard that their dream can’t ever happen. It could be because they don’t believe in themselves, so why should they b...

I was raised by a wonderful woman who unintentionally taught me a lesson that didn’t serve me, just as it didn’t serve her very well. People loved her – I can’t count the number of times I heard, “your mom is so kind – butter wouldn’t even melt in her mouth.” It’s true that she very rarely said a bad thing about anyone because she did look for the best motives in even the worst events. That’s a go...

What do you want in life that feels like it’s eluding you? A relationship, career advancement, improved finances? Most of us have things that we long for, dream about, wish for, and never seem to be able to achieve. Sometimes the drive to bang this piece of our life into place feels all-consuming, and we focus on making it happen instead of focusing on the other important aspects of our life. Know...

Are you feeling uninspired and listless? Maybe you feel grumpy, a bit light-headed, or unfocused? Drink water right now. You’ve probably heard that the body is about 60% water – it’s a rough average, depending on your body type and gender. The brain is about 75% water – that’s all of us, no exceptions. When you’re even just 1% low on water in your body, brain function declines sharply while pain i...

Are you feeling limp today? Make decisions. It doesn’t really matter what you make decisions about, just decide. Jeans or pants today? Pullover or button down? Chocolate or pink lipstick? Flats or heels? Home brew or drive-through? Decide something. Anything. Making decisions keeps you focused in the present, and being present helps you notice what’s going on around you. When you notice what’s goi...

You know I’m a nerd, right? I love to study emerging science where our bodies and brains are concerned. We’re so complex that researchers literally learn new things about us all the time. One of the ongoing areas of study is fear contagion and how one person can pick up the fear of another so quickly and so intensely that they go into fight, flight, or freeze mode, matching the mode the other pers...

Do you lead a team? It could be a team at work, a group of volunteers, a family unit – no matter what kind of team leader you are, remember this: your team members are not you. Let me say that again – your team members are not you. This is an asset to the team, and I mean no disrespect to you when I tell you that. You have your unique set of skills, strengths, and passions. Guess what? Everyone on...

Who are you? Are you the person your mother sees? The person your partner sees? The person your friends see? The person your boss sees? The correct answer is – none of the above. You are none of those people and yet you are pieces of all of those people. Everyone sees you through their own life experiences, their past interactions with you and others, and the mood they happen to be in at the momen...

Is it time to remind you about now again? It’s OK – most of us forget about how powerful now is because we have this lifelong habit of time-traveling. We travel backwards in time, remembering things that happened to us days, months, and sometimes even decades ago, trying to work out in our heads how things could have been different. We think that if we’d done things differently, our life today wou...

When you were 8, your attention and affection was easy to get and hold. A new toy, game, or maybe electronic gadget would make you delighted with the person who gave it to you and enthralled in the fun of discovery. You’re not 8 anymore, and what delighted you then may not delight you now. I know if someone handed me a dollhouse kit and offered to put it together with me, I’d be happy with the ges...

Do you usually feel fairly confident in your ability to get through life? Fairly confident in the work you do, in the relationships you have, in the life you have? Or do you often feel anxious – anxious about your skills, the quality of your partnership, maybe even the direction your life is taking? Self-confidence is such an important attribute, yet few people focus on cultivating their sense of...

Are you feeling perfect today? Perfect in your look, perfect in your behavior, perfect in your knowledge, perfect in your whole life? No? Welcome to the real world, where no one is perfect and it’s OK. Are you feeling the need to feel perfect, or at least seem perfect to those around you? Yes? Welcome to the dungeon you’ve put yourself in, and only you hold the key to release yourself from it. In...

Is there someone in your life who has to be there – a parent or a sibling or a boss – who behaves in a way that’s upsetting to you? It can be very hard to be around some people, especially when we feel there’s no way to not be around them, and still maintain a sense of wellbeing. You can do it, and it may take a lot of mental gymnastics to accomplish it. Your wellbeing is worth it, though, right?...

This Tiny Bite is true in all kinds of situations. You’re not in control. You can’t control another person’s thoughts, feelings, or behavior. You can make them appear to be in compliance, and if they have to do what you tell them to do, they will. But if they’re doing it against their own judgement or wishes, they won’t be in your life very long, whether they’re an employee or a romantic partner....

Do you ever have days when you doubt yourself? When you feel like everything that can go wrong is going wrong and you’re powerless to make things go right? Hopefully you don’t have too many days like that, and hopefully it’ll help you feel better to know that we all have those kinds of days. On days like that, there are two things that can lift you out of the funk: your focus and your friends. And...

Who has power in your life? For most of us, the answer isn’t very clear. We hope it’s us, and then we start thinking about the powerful others – the boss, the significant other, the mortgage company…! If you’re someone who does a lot of explaining, you’re giving your power away. For instance, if you’re late to a meeting and you apologize and explain that traffic was awful, you’ve just given your p...

When someone challenges you, argues with you, or is rude to you, how do you respond? Do you instantly volley back? Do you take a moment to think about the best thing to say? Do you – can you – look at them in silence? It’s true that a spoken reply is usually necessary, especially if it’s someone you deal with daily. Keeping the peace in a family, friendship, or work relationship is important, and...

Every day is a new and different day. I know – that sounds kind of like a “well, no duh!” statement, and on the surface, it is. Think about how you treat each day, though, and maybe it can help you see that statement at a deeper level. Most of us live a lot of our lives on autopilot – brains love patterns, so we allow our brains to run a lot of our day through the patterns of our lives. We sleep o...

When you were a child, what did you dream of being when you grew up? For most of us, those dreams changed a lot – 6-year-old you might have wanted to be a superhero, 8-year-old you wanted to be a police officer, and maybe 18-year-old you dreamed of medical school on your first day as an undergrad. How do you feel about those dreams now, and what do you want to be now? Can you think of your dreams...

Do you lead a team, and someone on that team is struggling? Have you tried to coach them, only to see the struggle continue? Consider their personal financial life, because financial stress can have a significant impact on an employee's well-being and work performance. It might look like decreased productivity, anxiety, distractedness, poor relationships with co-workers, and even poor physical and...