Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Are you impatient that you’re not where you thought you’d be at this point in your life? Maybe you assumed you’d have a higher-paying or higher-prestige job, or maybe you thought you’d have a home with 2.5 children and a sweet dog playing inside a fenced yard. Too often, people beat themselves up because they aren’t where they think they should be in life. Is that you? Stop it! You can’t moti...

Have you ever been part of a conversation where you learned that the person you thought was a kindred spirit didn’t see things the way you thought they did? I was in a three-way conversation, discussing an ongoing problem that was being difficult to nail down and solve. One person said they thought the solution was out of our hands, and the other person, the one who’d been working diligently on it...

Is there something that makes you feel small, or maybe even powerless? One of my not-optimal beliefs is that people who are creative can’t make money. I grew up hearing that creatives don’t have what it takes to be good businesspeople, and businesspeople don’t have what it takes to be creative. Sometimes I feel “less than” when I’m around successful businesspeople – they make it look so easy to su...

Have you ever stopped and thought, “no matter what I do, someone’s going to be unhappy”? Most of us have…I sure have! I vividly remember the moment my people-pleasing self realized that people-pleasing is a dead end road. I was 16, in high school, and was being pulled in three different directions at once. My amazing guidance counselor wanted me to do one thing, my physics teacher wanted something...

Are you emotionally intelligent? If you’re an older female, you have a much better chance of being able to say “yes” to that. Studies suggest that emotional intelligence increases with age, and in women, the increase is even more pronounced. Research at UC Berkley conclusively showed that people in their late 50s through their 60s showed far more emotional intelligence than those in their 20s and...

According to the late Bob Marley, some people feel the rain, and others just get wet. What did he mean by that? In a nutshell, some people are living in the moment, appreciating the experience, while others are focused elsewhere and though they know what they’re experiencing, they’re not living the experience. In my life, and maybe yours too, those who are “just getting wet” are the ones who compl...

Today let’s examine faith. Whether your faith is in a higher power, in the power of love, or in yourself and your ability to persevere, faith is a wonderful human characteristic. Early research into how and where the brain processes religion and faith seems to show a correlation between faith and depression, and the good news is that it appears that a strong sense of faith is somewhat protective a...

I want to share a story about a time I failed three people at once. I was at a concert, walking past a low wall. People were sitting on the lawn at the top of the wall and as I passed by, a woman fell from the lawn to the concrete walkway. The man I was with kept walking. I turned to help the woman and he grabbed me by the hand and insisted I keep walking, too. I tried to go back. He made that imp...

When you think about your looks, what do you think? Do you think your nose is too big or your hair is impossible or your waistline is too round? Do you hide your body under long sleeves and long pants even in the hottest weather because your skin is too pale or your knees are too knobby or your arms are too flabby? Do you judge your body and find it lacking or less than? Why? We don’t see ourselve...

Do you play a game that counts your “streak?” And do you feel awful when you lose your streak? I play Wordle and remember how I felt when I failed to solve the puzzle on day 99 of a streak. It’s bad enough to fail on the puzzle…it’s sooooo bad to fall short of the milestone of 100 days by one stinkin’ day. As I licked my wounds I started to wonder why I cared? Why was I feeling extra-bad about not...

In your work life, do you receive feedback from others? Now and then, does a piece of feedback sting? Yeah, me too. I recently spoke at a large conference. The audience was given an easy way to share their thoughts, and 98% of them loved the experience. One audience member said she didn’t want to see me speak again. Ouch! I learned a long time ago to focus on the positive comments instead of obses...

Has this ever happened to you? You were up for a promotion, you really wanted that promotion, and you didn’t get the promotion? How did you react? How did you feel? Disappointed, sure. Maybe a bit resentful – that would be a normal reaction. You might even have felt cheated, and maybe you thought about looking for a new job. It is so easy to assume that something that feels wrong is wrong. What if...

Do you love listening to old people tell stories of their lives? I remember being 7 years old, listening to my great grandmother telling stories of her pioneer family childhood in Oklahoma. Granny White was a wonderful storyteller, and while some of her stories dealt with hardship and fear, most of her stories were about pranks, good times, and the happiness she and her siblings created out on the...

Have you ever known someone who seems a little bit squirrely to you, and maybe you can’t quite put your finger on why? Think about their words and actions – do they match? I used to work for a man who talked a really good game, yet when push came to shove in this company, the game he played was quite different than the game he talked. Chances are, when someone doesn’t “feel” quite right to you, th...

Have you ever thought of how much you affect the world without even trying to? Even if you stay in your PJs all day and don’t leave the house, you affect the world. When you click the “like” button on someone’s post, you boost their morale and feeling of self-worth. When you text a friend a link to something inspirational you found online, you make them smile to know you were thinking of them. Whe...

Today let’s play a little bit of inside baseball. Not familiar with that term? It’s like opening the curtain to reveal the inner workings of something. Today’s inside baseball game is revealing the inner workings of writing these Tiny Bites. People ask me all the time where the ideas come from, and the answer is life. Many times, it’s what I observe, sometimes it’s what a coaching client and I hav...

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” “Don’t compare your work in progress with someone else’s finished product.” “When you compare yourself with others, you fall into a trap with no way out.” Those three quotes about the hazards of comparing yourself with others are all commonly used and true. When was the last time you stopped to think about just how poisonous the comparison habit really is? If you’...

When you get all excited about something new and share it with those close to you, what’s the feedback you usually get? Hopefully you get mainly enthusiastic, supportive responses. Most of us have at least one person in our lives who shoots down our ideas.  Heck, I was married to one of those people for three decades! It took a while until I learned to stay quiet about something I really want...

Do you know, or maybe manage, someone who approaches most problems with the same attitude? Some people see a problem and immediately start looking to place blame. Some people see a problem and immediately start looking for a way to prove they had nothing to do with it. Some people see a problem and disappear so they don’t have to be part of the solution. Have you ever heard the saying, “to a hamme...

You are a work in progress. You will always be a work in progress. Does this dismay you? It does many people – people who’ve spent their lives thinking that they’ll finally be complete when… they graduate… they get married… they have a house and kids… they have the corner office and a great career… And the trouble is, that yardstick keeps moving. Once you’ve achieved the first goal, a new goal pop...

Is there someone in your life that you admire, or who inspires you? You may not love everything about them, or admire every single thing, and yet you still look at who they are or what they’ve accomplished and think, “maybe I could do that too.” Have you ever told them that they inspire you? For instance, I have had Siberian Huskies for decades, and early on I met a woman who had them even longer....

Let’s pretend you’re a dandelion. You sprouted from seed as a tiny little plant, maybe in the middle of that park down the street. You probably went completely unnoticed until the day your first bud started to open. Then some people were charmed by you, some alarmed by you, and most people didn’t give you a second thought. Meanwhile, you were doing what you knew to do – growing, changing, and bloo...

Do you know someone who uses very dramatic language? For instance: They don’t have a headache, they are in agony because their head is about to explode. How about this: a person who got snippy with them is described as throwing a screaming fit right there in front of the entire office. They don’t have difficult conversations, they have confrontations. The weather isn’t hot, it’s sweltering and the...

Are you feeling stuck? Many of us end up in a school or job or life we chose and realize that it’s not exactly what we wanted. When you’re feeling stuck, it’s tough to see the possibilities because you’re focused on limitations. Shift your focus. That can be tough, though not impossible. When you find yourself ruminating on or spiraling around whatever the problem is, try to channel your inner Sca...

Have you ever seen a beautifully manicured green lawn? It looked so perfect, didn’t it? As you stood back and gazed at it, your eyes probably saw the lovely crisp edges where lawn met driveway and sidewalk, the lovely even greenness of the grass, and the perfectly matched length of grass, blade after blade exactly the same height – nothing sticking up and no places where the ground showed through...