Tinseltown - The Holiday Movie Podcast

Tim and the Mayor wrap up bonkers Hallmark logline month with "Unlocking Christmas", a movie about mysterious keys and cryptices that somehow manages to be sooooooo boring.

Anton and Brian check out Hallmark's attempt at a Hanukkah movie, "Love Lights Hanukkah". Such relatable Hanukkah characters! A dreidel collector! A latke artist! A woman who feels genetically obligated to do a Hanukkah!

Bonkers Hallmark Logline month falls short of its promises as Brian and David encounter a Passionflix/Lifetime movie. And one that doesn't even kind of commit to its wild logline, which was: "A man celebrates Christmas every day, and yet is still a viable love interest for a TV romance movie." But honestly, we mostly just talk about hot people on Star Trek.

Bonkers Hallmark Loglines month continues as Brian and Robbie dig a shallow grave for the art of song parody as we review "A Christmas Carousel". Logline: "A big city carousel repairwoman needs to repair The Royal Carousel in time for Christmas... with the help of the handsome prince!"

Bonkers Hallmark Loglines month begins as Brian, Emily, Spencer, and Candace Cameron superfan Atma the Cat all squeeze together to review "If I Only Had Christmas". Logline: "It's a Hallmark Christmas movie, but also it's The Wizard of Oz!"

As we prep Theme Month, Emily and Spencer have joined me to let people know what's coming up: This year's theme: Hallmark's Weirdest Loglines! What one-sentence descriptions of a made for TV Christmas romance has us saying "Wait... how is that a thing?"

In our second emergency episode, as we prep theme month, Robbie and Brian do a scholarly reading of a VHS Ninja Turtle Christmas carol show. Do we compare it to Joseph Campbell's hero's journey? YOU KNOW WE DO.

Brian and Lara review "The Lion in Winter", a movie that seems to have been algorithmically generated to be perfect for us. We... Didn't love it. We feel real bad about it, though.

Colleen and Brian take you to the hottest club in New York, "Beyond Tomorrow". This place has everything. Three ghosts, a cricket player, literally soulless seductresses, drunks with guns, a radio show, strange wealthy gambling, a deposed Russian princess, and a lady who bothers God into altering policy.

Brian and Anton review "Last Holiday", a movie that is set at Christmas for no reason other than that the title already had the word "holiday" in it. Featuring a weirdly overqualified and international cast and a twist ending. But not the one you think! Which, I guess, is the whole point of a twist ending.

Flonk plays the Squid Game and pays with his sanity as we watch SOME sort of terrible sequel. Will it be "Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey" or "A Christmas Story 2". There are no winners.

Robbie and Brian look at another classic-ass classic, BUT... not a Christmas one? It's "Trading Places", the Christmas-set comedy that doesn't get thought of as a Christmas movie. Will it make the canon? What parts have aged surprisingly well? What parts have aged predictably poorly? And how many great cameos can you fit into one movie?

Tim is joining us full time, and what a welcome we have for him, with "Four Christmases", a Vince Vaughn vehicle that has nooooooo idea what it wants to be. Other than tedious, I suppose.

Emily and Brian and some real feisty cats take on The Poseidon Adventure, which is really THE iconic 70s disaster movie. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let's find out together, shall we? Featuring: Super Jacked Ernie Borgnine, Gene Hackman's Amazing Combover, and Jack Albertson: Ass Man.

Brian and Justin take a look at "Fatman", a movie that definitely got its title before Mel Gibson was cast in it. Does the movie ever follow through on any of its concepts or any of its worldbuilding? Ehhh. Does Mel get brutalized and tortured even when playing Santa? YOU KNOW IT, BABY.

"Mom, can we stop at McDonalds for The Green Knight?" "No, we have the Green Knight at home." The Green Knight at home:

David and the Mayor look at "Ernest Saves Christmas", which did not give us the nostalgia bomb we were hoping for. Also, it's another Santa replacement story, and somehow one with even MORE weird implications than "The Santa Clause", as Santa is looking for his own replacement this time, and... targeting the desperate and lonely? Huh.

Lisa of the Film Reroll is back with us this week, to discuss the arbitrarily Thanksgiving-set thriller "Don't Say a Word". This movie was part of a pretty huge cultural moment in the US. Which one? We'll never tell. (Seriously, you won't be able to guess; it's wild.)

Amanda from Death of Podcasts joins me this week to discuss "Non-Stop New York", a pretty dang good B-movie that mmmmmmmaybe only got on the list through clerical error.

Alonso Duralde joins the mayor once again to review yet another musical, but this time, it's another good one! A classic-ass classic, in fact, in that it's White Christmas, a spiritual sequel to Holiday Inn designed to hit your nostalgia from every direction.

Longest Guest Month continues apace, as Bob joins us to discuss "Tower Heist", a surprisingly good movie with an unfortunate creep concentration. We discuss heist movies in general, the wildly varied career of Mr. Edward Murphy, and how Matthew Broderick occasionally escapes the clutches of his sinister father in law, Arthur Jessica Parker.

This week, we're looking at "Deck the Halls", the lowest point in the personal AND professional lives of several major celebrities. We see who was trying their best, who was trying their worst, and play a classic round of "Is there a good movie hiding in here?"

AAlgar of "Kids Love Batman" and "Endeavor" joins us to discuss "It Happened One Christmas", a sort of half-committed gender swap of It's A Wonderful Life starring Orson Welles and Marlo Thomas.

His name is JACK DETH. He's a COP. And he's here to SINGE TRANCERS AND TRY TO GET IT ON WITH HELEN HUNT. Tim Montoya joins me to review the Christmas sci-fi action cheapie "Trancers"!

The Mayor and Colleen take a look at "Curse of the Cat People", a sequel to a movie we've never seen, but also we're pretty sure we don't have to. Lord knows the people who wrote and directed this hadn't.