TIK TOK ROCK

A short song I wrote for a friend of mine who's going on a diet of just Curly wurlys for ten days good luck to him

A eulogy Grandfathers they're like old sentinels that stand  guard over us in our early infant years , stolid as grandfather clocks their old heavy hearts pendulum the rhythm of life into our new born ears a mortal metronome that keeps a steady beat to the timpani of our tiny pattering feet.

Twenty years ago it came as quite a shock when someone we knew  became bisexual especially as they'd been such a lady killer and then became such a man eater, still what then seemed such a big squeal is now an every day done deal.

A song written for Todd aged 5 and his cat Sean the cat who's got terribly fat due to him being pampered to the point he now thinks he's a human.

A song I wrote this morning for Diane who ran a greasy box cafe in the favela , If cook's could kill then this greasy girl was definitely licensed to grill !! she's always standing by ever ready to kill your sense of humour with sarcasm or ease the stomach acid with her peppermint pill .

A Christmas Carol I wrote for Jeanine who always ends up with me or some other dreadful cousin come uncle for Christmas dinner that usually degrade and debouche ourselves in some dreadful manner due to drinking too much of the old and filthy.

a song I wrote whilst watching builders at work they seem to reduce your world to a rubble trouble you go from living in a home to caravan their two day builds turns into a two year course the city and guilds.

If you ever fall under the spell of a Jezabel then you will be lucky if you leave with your life every thing else will be ransacked and broken into pieces by these A morel Doomsday machines who don't even realise what they're doing.

a short song I wrote a couple of days ago whilst on a train back from London for a friend who's on a malteser diet.

A little ditty I wrote for lillian's birthday who was born on the first of may now aged nine .

a song I wrote for a friend of mine who seems obsessed with living on a diet of twiglets to lose weight

A little ditty for the virgin, queen, Elizabeth I who was nicknamed the blood queen due to her executing Lady Jane Grey and Mary Queen of Scots amongst many others. This Red Virgin Regina possibly scared most of her male suitors into importance being bathed in so much blood no wonder she was called the red widow .

What was once a stamp for a tramp or cut of the criminal class is now adorning the faces and physique of aristocrat, royalty and supermodel chic .

A ditty I wrote about rescuing a friend in need beware you quickly end up with ten mouths to feed and everything you've worked for you usually concede

A song I wrote about taking your wedding vows which my father did back in 1959 the preacher boomed blood and fire brimstone as if God himself were speaking which sobered him up from his stag night slake .

a short song I wrote and sang whilst on the Birmingham to Bristol train 11.42 to13.14 not a bad effort I sang it in the station car park the builders had stopped for lunch they thought I'd gone mad but two takes and it was done.

A song I wrote about being OCD and fixating about the small details of life as my companion dose on a daily basis , I have used 3/4 time for the verse for clockwork tension and 4/4 time to sooth into the common time of normality.

A song I wrote about living our lives as nocturnal belfry bats fuelled by booze and nose gay narcotics we'd flutter back at dawn after sharing shrink spiel and serotonin Smarties at all the high octane triple (P) ,  Piss  Powder and Pretence parties in Harrogate, is there any wonder that we all became neurotic suffering from nervous breakdowns and depression the Spanish au pairs around at that tim...

A song written for a friend who has decided to live on cadbury's caramel for nine days.

A cynical love song . My Family members were 1920s dyed-in-the-wool Yorkshiremen who believed that love be measured in pounds Shillings and pence and behind the white picket fence was a work house specially built to keep wife wain or wench who had a value similar to that of blood stock and foul , children being merely chattels without soul .

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew,  their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies .

This is about a young county lines guy we call LILY THE KID because he looks so girlish an angelic to be a druggie anyhow he's now disappeared on the run from police and a gang of heavy drug dealers from Bradford who dauntless want their money.

Let loose the Dogs of War and loose the rule of law . Mercenaries are now employed by ever superpower in the world the problem now is they're starting to bite the hands that trained and fed them . Cast wise opinion, as to who holds dominion,    or die a minion.  My father said that Gandhi had saved his life through his wisdom and peace , shame we don't see more leaders with this capability of Kham...

The Oxfam shop or as we call it "The dead man's drop" is an essential part of our high street culture we all of us at some stage find ourselves sifting through their silt as if stroking and smelling the scents and spirits of our past relatives like some lost and found bric-a-brac burial ground we old elephants come to rummage around amongst the bones and skin of our not so long ago departed kin. U...

The blues bar girls where the Amazonian hell raisers we called them the Sisters of Satan, all in black leather they drank from dawn till dusk fuelled on speed an cocaine they'd come in singing and swinging , heaven help the men who fell in love they'd use an abuse ya then leave ya heart bitten raw like a old dogs chew bar.