TIK TOK ROCK

This is a song i wrote about the catastrophic creations cause through having too much cosmetic surgery leaving so many a patient in the perpetual state of a reconstructive purgatory the surgeons are called the picasso's of the plastique, well they certainly end up with a foot an mouth or a tongue-in-cheek , they sculpture and scalpel at something that once started out as the face of the fantastic...

A short tune I wrote for a friend who constantly gets blitz then sits around all day sending the same emails over and over driving us all round the bend by tapping again and again on resend.

A song written about an old person in the analogy of an old car that starts to break down with age.

A song about a women whose mischief like that of lady Macbeth caused many a death

Shakespeare was a genius at portraying the macaveillion side of the human race. The poet Shelley said that king Leah was the most perfect specimen of art existing in the world. Sigmund Freud also took his many psychoanalytical traits from Shakespeare this obviously being the odipus complex of the kings three daughters towards their father who demanded unconditional love . I wrote this song for an...

A short song I wrote for my godson Todd after seeing how the human being is producing hybrid animals zebra crossed with rhinoceros I mean have we gone completely mad what's next a cockerel crossed with a kangaroo?.

A song about looking at my Godson watching the Lion king I cast myself back to childhood where I first saw a pathetic lion used as a guard dog in a scrap yard chained toothless clawless and castrated never should these beautiful beast be caged into torment and cruelty for our amusement we should leave them to roam wild and free on their sub-saharan Savannah

A song I wrote for my goddaughters birthday it's done through the eyes of a mayfly due to her being born on the 1st of may I was trying to tell her live everyday as if it be her last.

A little ditty for a God-son who wanted to know if he would become a bird if we caught bird flu.

A song about a crazy Irish girl I met in Greece she was totally wired to the moon, out of her mind on everything from poitin to pixie dust .

A little song for my God son Todd about a two toed sloth they're always portrayed as the epitome of sinfulness i.e laziness but this little arboreal adaption turns out to be the perfect green dream a hairy little leaf eating machine which has a zero carbon footprint and could save the world all on its own , we would do well to put a little of the sinful slow sloth back in our own fast food life st...

A song I wrote for the king of rock and roll it's done in a crooning style of the fifties. He was born into extreme poverty raised in a shotgun shack but managed not only to break out of but also to attack the musical apartheid of America he was one of the first to start singing the black man's blues , he went from busking as a bum on Beale Street to having the world worshipping at his feet an all...

A song I wrote in the old music hall tradition of two verse chorus which is similar to the church stanza I've also sang it in the barber shop style of my father who born in 1925 still bursts into song similar to a Mississippi boat minstrel .

A short song I wrote about the monster munch crisps as a love song I did it whilst riding aboard a train the 11.34 from Bicester to London Marylebone station 12.38 recorded in two takes outside McDonald's in double quick time.

Her swan song is what you hear just before your love boat runs aground and the scent of sulphur be the final pheromone you smell as you slowly begin to drowned .

A tune for my godson Todd who's five years old it was inspired by listening to him talking about his modern dance class which involves quite a lot of acrobatics including parkouring from the kitchen table onto the floor then spinning round on his back hissing loudly like a fried egg or an angry snake.

They called her La Pucelle The maiden of steel Joan of arc who saved France from the hundred years war with the English but as usual her own French nobels through tricks and treachery sold her back to the English after she'd won back France they charged her with cross dressing and heresy she was burned at the stake three times till her bones turned to dust but her legend never did rust. In 1909 at...

A short ditty written for the god Google children who now speak in fluent geek , the bible say's that the meek shall inherit the earth I think they may have meant to say the GEEK !!.

A song I wrote for a crazy young women who's beauty could cause Aphrodite to scream a red rage of jealously, its fairly obvious to see her maker man was completely OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free .

A short song I wrote after speaking to some old friends from way back they were all on the prozac or as we use to call it The Slow Smack due to them taking two weeks to work most of them are still on the smarties they feel fine all of the time.

A song I wrote for Nina in lock down with covid and the kids a soft swing .

A short song I wrote for a friend who now wants to be called THE BIG TECH JESUS . He stands six feet eight tall and states to everyone that he's THE NEW LORD OF LOVE .

Our fixation with fear is definitely here. We're living like mendicant monks. Our decadent café latte lifestyles are all defunct. This virus hangs about us like the prophecy of Macbeth, a new strain of the Black Death. This damnable COVID-19 has killed what was once a hedonistic dream. 'Project fear' is all we hear, bombarded constantly into our ears. We've become farmed fish, the human hen, all c...

A short song I wrote whilst trapped in rush hour on the M25 its certainly a highway to hell and your brain boils in its crab faced shell at night it turns into a Cannon Ball Run a hundred and seventeen miles of Mad Max fun with motor cycles screaming past like something out of the movie Top Gun .

A little song about setting off on a world tour in the late seventies, it was nothing like today there were no mobile phones or multimedia just the odd phone box for calls . Your thumb and forefinger were used for hitchhiking thousands of miles around the globe taking years and years almost a decade to the point where many of us became wonderless but we did become quite skilled in the art of conve...