Three Bean Salad

The topic this week is no topic owing to an excess of intro prattling which the Bean Machine was unable to cope with. Did Henry forget to clean the Bean Machine slough-sump? Did Mike fail to de-scale the low-pressure waffle sprocket? Has Ben been at the raw prawns again? Or maybe rats got in. In time we may have answers for you but in the meantime here’s a hamless ham sandwich of a podcast episode...

Paul from Widnes (bot status unconfirmed) serves up the topic of Artificial Intelligence for the beans this week. Sure, to begin with they simply respond by making a series of vague futuristic noises, they’re only flesh and blood (confirmed), but soon enough they get busy and deliberate crab newspapers, an unusual use of hair conditioner and the truth about the Netherlands. Join our PATREON for ad...

Steph of London isn’t shy about getting the beans to tackle hats and tackle hats they do. For the sake of completeness they incorporate oral tomato snooker, pencil sharpeners and Dobermann puppies. Also expect to hear a hot, fresh exclusive about Ben’s upcoming rebranding. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Livestream tickets for our l...

Away we go for Season 6 which begins with the topic of teeth as suggested by Josh of Bremen. Tune in for tales of sea snakes, how close the world came to seeing its first coin-operated man and why you should be suspicious of anything that costs £78. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Livestream tickets for our show in September: https:...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September), but if you want to listen to extra bonus content you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

For the final episode of Season 5 Maddie of the USA hurls the beans towards the hot topic of swords. The Great Ham Cultures feature heavily, the lid is lifted on the art of car servicing and you’d better believe they cover hot pebbles (about ruddy time). The beans will return in September, fresh of face and fleet of professionally medicated foot. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly...

George of Canada has drawn inspiration from the fact he’s in Canada and picked the theme of “Canada” for the beans this week. Little could he have imagined he’d prompt a nation-ruining exposé as the beans unveil the gris(zz)ly truth about SBAJ! Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Livestream tickets for our show in September: https://www...

This week the juicy topic of service stations is thrown the beans’ way by none other than Hannah Kohler of London. The episode is crucial listening for anyone at risk of being trapped in a well. In addition, geese get more than honourable mention and Henry drops a hot-dog bombshell. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Livestream tickets...

Emma of the Seychelles sends the beans on something of a busman’s holiday with the topic of sitcoms. Ben gives our the listeners the scoop on his latest project, Mike digs his heels in on his wolf identification skills and Henry unlocks the secrets of his own past. Livestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/ Tickets for Mike W...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday June and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of human rights), but if you want to listen to a new bonus episode (and all of our bonus output going back to the Genesis bean) you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Thanks to Dr P this week the beans get to grips with that fundamental unit of life: tubes. Essentially if looks like it tube and it sounds like a tube it’s a tube and if it doesn’t there’s a good chance it’s a tube after all if you think about it. Also we find out how Henry takes a bath. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Get in touch:...

France is this week’s topic thanks to the theme nudging of Michael. Lifelong francophilobean Henry Paker is a cochon in the proverbial merde and gives us his hot take on croissants, the quotidien life of French bakers as well a live translation of La Marseillaise for those without a firm grasp of the French language or decent wifi. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode:...

Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s Mustards gets the beans talking about prizes. They offer up a lesser known travel tip for the Philippines, an approach for undergraduate exam preparation and Ben finally shows his true colours (listener discretion advised - they ain’t a pretty shade). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Get in touch: three...

Welcome back for SEASON 5 which Henry thinks means we’ve been going for either 70 episodes or 70 years. Thanks to Steph of London the season kicks off with the topic of bears. Literally and figuratively full of beans from their hiatus, the actual beans manage to steer on course for an admirable chunk of the episode but do manage to give glancing chat blows to Paul Hogan, Thug and Nicky the Pygmy H...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June), but if you want to listen to new bonus episodes you can sign up to our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

For the final episode of the season, tusk monomaniac Jerome of Indiana, locks the beans onto his favourite dental protrusion. It will come as no surprise to Jerome that the beans prod their chat fangs deep into the definition of true art, the ethics of umbrella storage and Henry’s arena-filling splinter project. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad-free e...

Sarah of Bremen decides this week’s topic for the beans is maps and they can’t be blamed for delving into the unchartered chat territories of compressed meat biscuits, what you should rub in Luton for luck and why Ben’s career as a fantasy novelist is doomed before it’s even begun. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus epi...

At the behest of Immanuel of Bremen, this week’s subject is mountains. The intrepid beans nearly perish in a conversational crevasse early doors, but can they get back on track and make it to the summit of Mount Chat? Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

What’s that? A light entertainment podcast has dared to dance across the the conversational minefield that is the antimacassar? That’s right. And that podcast is Three Bean Salad. And if Lauren from Bremen hadn’t got the beans onto the topic of snow in the first place this podcasting milestone might never have been achieved at all. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our P...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday March and we simply will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month because we respect the natural order of the universe), but if you want to listen to a new bonus episode you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Chase (Bremen?) proclaims that goblins are the topic of the week. The beans tackle it with their usual rigour and in no time at all are back on the deck of the RMS Titanic. Spaniels get an honourable mention and we learn about Mike’s lesser known sub-specialty within the movie-making industry. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a month...

Hazel presumably of Bremen steers the beans towards the topic of bicycles and they absolutely chat the hind legs off it. Tonic wine, castanets and Noel Gallagher all find a place, Ben is slighted, Mike discovers new sopping kin, and Henry is taunted by a toddler. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

WARNING: chunks of this episode are foul but that’s not the Beans’ fault. The blame squarely lies on the shoulders of Devonshire Megan who bade them discuss slippers. Thoughtfully they soften the blow by veering into Thai massage, ovine mince categorisation and how to tell if Mike is behind a serious crime. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad-free episod...

Roll up, roll up for E1 of S4 of Three Bean Salad in which Luke of Hertfordshire directs the beans towards the topic of dinosaurs. Tune in as hitherto unplumbed depths of ignorance are brought to the surface and listen to the beans discover they don’t know what they should know they don’t know about some of the basics. Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod Join our PATREON for ad...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March), but if you want to listen to new bonus episodes you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad