Three Bean Salad

Holly of Portsmouth blesses the beans with the ancient chat topic of castles for this week’s episode. They get close harmony groups and genetically engineered toads out of the way in short order and before you know it are on to an absolutely watertight movie pitch that will probably redefine cinema for a generation. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes an...

Ali requests that the Beans explore the topic of architecture and they do their best to take the roof off, knock through the kitchen and dining room to create a greater sense of space, and install a cantilevered lukewarm sauna. As always, listeners will benefit from a working knowledge of former professional tennis player and BBC sports anchor Sue Barker. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw....

Emma has the beans discuss fairy tales for the last episode of 2023. It’s nasty business on the whole as anyone who has actually read an original fairy tale or had a fairy tale based upon their own life experiences will know. If you’re too busy to listen and are simply after this week’s take home message it’s probably that you ought to be very, very, very, very, very cautious about making any sort...

It’s only a matter of time before the beans’ merch empire knocks the competition into a cocked hat with the launch of Beantopia: Three Bean Salad’s very own maxi cruise ship experience. Prebook for the maiden voyage of the as-yet unbuilt vessel now to enjoy a floating paradise replete with an all-you-can-eat bean buffet, ocean going velodrome, manmade desert, Punch and Judy musical flume experienc...

Hats off to Ross of Vancouver and then immediately put a different hat on along with a rubber nose and a set of matching eyebrow wigs because Ross has got the beans wagging their false chins about disguises this week. This episode also includes an update on Henry’s Beefcake Journey and the secret to success. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a mont...

The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which absolutely classic Samuel frankly. Knuckle down and let’s get through this together people. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the beans turtle roll some ankle slappers? Or will they hang ten on a shubie’s mushburger? Why not tombstone a paddlepuss and find out? Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Get in touch: threeb...

Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover that Rowan had the beans grapple with the Trojan War and you’ll probably say to yourself “That shouldn’t present a problem to the beans although I bet they end up being a bit reductive about calzones” and you’d be right. Join our PATREON for ad-free episode...

Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap territory here but it turns out between them they average 2 ⅔ science GCSEs a piece*. *grades attained unavailable and what do they mean anyway really??? Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Ge...

Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fashion. What do your chinos say about you? What do you say about your chinos? And what would your chinos say about what you’d said about them if they’d overheard it? All questions the beans are unable to answer for you of course but while you’re working t...

It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and legacy than on a podcast which, at the time of writing, is ranked as Finland’s 245th most popular sleep aid? Thanks to Dan (presumably of Bremen) for feeding The King into the bean machine. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus epis...

The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost the pith and pulverise the pips to extract linoleic acid which could be used in the production of organic varnishes for example (metaphorically). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly b...

Popo (THE Popo?????) decides the beans ought to discuss pencils this week. Henry manages to crowbar in Andie MacDowell (surprise, surprise), congressional hearings get a mention as do several Roberts and Benjamin shares a top tip for increasing your household acreage without planning permission. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad To bu...

The beans are back and Sean of Exeter has given them the topic of beer, the cheeky old rascal!!!!! As luck would have it the beans just so happen to know one end of a pint from the other cor bloomin’ heck don’t they just the bloody legends so don’t be surprised if the banter isn’t just served lukewarm but has a ruddy lemonade top to boot weh hey!!! Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a month...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes. Tickets to stream our upcoming live shows: Saturday 16th Sept, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415 Sunday 17th Sept, 2pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667 Sunday 17th Sept, 4.30pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416

It’s the last episode of the season so thank goodness Gavin (of Bremen most likely) furnished the beans with the humdinger zeitgiest chat-nip topic that is…oats! The beans lurch from the grain-of-now to trouser physics and back again all for YOUR listening pleasure. Summer good and summer true dear friends. Three Bean Salad shall return at Septembertide. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a...

The beans have to get to grips with urban legends this week thanks to Tabby from Edinburgh. But before that Henry tells an anecdote so long that it begins to develop its own atmosphere and gravity. Finally they get stuck into urban legends and it gets scatalogical IMMEDIATELY for which Tabby surely has to take some of the blame. In fact large chunks of the episode are pretty unpalatable so please...

Ben from Cardiff (WE KNOW RIGHT???!!!) submits the topic of whales and the Beans waste no time getting into some radical new theories of aquatic taxonomy and evolution. If you’re wondering whether or not they’re qualified to handle that stuff let’s not forgot that Mike’s got a biology A-level, Ben lives a mere 4 hour drive away from the Rhyl SeaQuarium and Henry can draw a ruddy good haddock. This...

Megan from Bremen sends beans a-yappin’ about cults this week. It proves to be an episode packed with jaw-dropping revelations, not least of which is Henry’s confession to a major personal creed-shift. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Live-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival: 16th September: https://www.kings...

How did scientists explain theories of time travel to laypeople before the invention of paper napkins? This is just one of the many questions surrounding this week’s topic of time travel (courtesy of Ben of Horsham) that the Beans simply don’t touch. Talc makes an appearance though. Content warning: contains audio of the podcast’s first partial nude. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a mon...

It takes every ounce of the beans’ strength to keep the banter lukewarm this week as they take on Phil of Baltimore’s inherently hot topic of volcanoes during the most violent heat wave the British Isles have ever seen. Does heat melt away their satirical fangs? No! (Listen if you dare, Tony Blair!) Does it stop them from catching up with what Silvio Berlusconi was up to in 2006? No way! Do the en...

To Ben’s horror, the theme this week, thanks to Dedan-Jah Jonker the rheumatic Dutchman, is his bête noire: tea. To make things worse for poor, sweet, bean-machine laden Ben, this episode also finds him forced to confront his most recent near death experience at the hands of a certain type of central European bastard the guide books don’t warn you about. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a...

Hazel of Bremen throws lukewarm caution to the wind and has the beans discuss FIRE! Some sage words on friendship (and eyebrow) management are included and it will come as no surprise that Henry’s employment history is once more in the mix. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.