Thots TV

"Clifford!" ~ Emily Elizabeth.  Join us for our VERY FIRST cartoon episode! (How has it taken nine months?)  We're here to talk about the logistical and political nightmare that is owing a dog bigger than your own house. XL Bullies have NOTHING on this absolute unit.  Other topics covered include the epic highs and devastating lows of the Scholastic Book Fair; Elsie's cat'...

BOG OFF ELAINE! We're FINALLY broaching the huge, scary, sacred topic of Tracy Beaker - starting off with the emotionally devastating first series. We admire bold fashion choices of Justine Littlewood; we rediscover the endless charm of our Spiritual Queen Dani Harmer; Mike Milligan heals our inner child; and we all suffer from acute and sudden onset hay-fever. Grab your tissues and prepare f...

What's the story in Balamory? Wouldn't YOU like to know?! Hello? What's your name? Oh of COURSE! Today we're jumping on a ferry to Scotland's answer to Hebden Bridge. It's Balamory! Get set for a MUSIC HEAVY episode complete with strong regional accents and good vibes. Hesitations/deviations/repetitions include; the decline of hotel bibles; UK yogurt brands; and the t...

Due to technical difficulties (appointing Elsie as editor), our Balamory episode has been delayed. In lieu of """content""", please enjoy this selection of inane babble that didn't make the cut and has been hanging around in our hard drive for months. Regular programming will resume next week. Thank you from us, The Thots, for sticking around and supporting us! X...

Do not react... YOU are the saboteur! This week we're coming to you from a CGI tower with gaping holes in the floor in place of stairs. If the audio quality isn't up to scratch, you know why. Along the way, we discuss; the illustrious career of Nation's Sweetheart Simon Greenall; the illustrious career of Other Nation's Sweetheart Faith Brown; a long-running TV advert for an in...

WE'RE BACK!!! Our Summer break is over and we're kicking off a new series of Thots TV with something from the deep dark depths of the ITV archives. Rainbow is the perfect mix of Sesame Street and a Carry On movie about a sex dungeon that hasn't yet been written. This is the best description I can come up with. "Oooh Geoffrey!" Hesitations, deviations, and repetitions inclu...

This is an art attack! And THIS is an art attack!!! Today we're talking about a 1990s British classic! Millennials, Gen Z, and even those of us in the weird betweeny taint area can ALL be united by one fond memory - Neil Buchanan making big pictures out of items of clothing in a sports hall. Other content includes the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWBHM); the US remake of The Traitors; the...

The oven is HOT HOT HOT! Big Cook Little Cook is the story of a fraught relationship between two ex-lovers trying to keep their gimmick-based cafe open and viable as a business. In this episode, we accidentally hit you with a wine-related twist five minutes in. It's a boozy review of the nations favourite man/homunculus duo! Also discussed: the most common colour of supermarket eggs, the trau...

Sadie J, Sassy J, the Sasster, Sadielicious, Sasstastic, Sassamondo, etc. Sadie J is a sitcom about the "only girl in a boy's world". Apparently. This week we review a show that's visually, audibly, and spiritually ugly enough to make us swear more than usual, and not quite popular enough for a Common Sense Media page. OH HOW WE'VE MISSED THIS! Digressions include; the two...

"We metaphalaxiated our lower wagmas for Lucy. That must mean we love her!" This week, our good good friend Jasmine is here to discuss the classic 90s/2000s sitcom My Parents Are Aliens! We find that the costumes worn in the show have aged mostly well, but not QUITE as well as the show's gender politics... We have generally stayed on topic this week, but have devoted a LOT of time to discussing th...

Surprise bonus content! Between our last Horrible Histories ep and our upcoming My Parents Are Aliens ep, we've decided to grace your ears with some clever clever Laura insight. Our gorgeous flatmate has taken time out of her busy PhD schedule to chat about "the half-life of knowledge". What's the half-life of knowledge? Laura's here to enlighten us! In this uncharacterist...

"Gory stories, we do that. And your host? A talking rat!" It is the single most obvious show to cover and we fancied an easy week. It's Horrible Histories!!! Not one single critique can be found in this here episode. Just pure simple unadulterated love for the gang of six actors/writers/comedians that brought us some of the most memorable TV moments of our childhoods. Before Yonderl...

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat!!! Old school spies have had their day, and... well, you know the rest. In this episode, we display a HUGE show of love for the original M.I. High cast, and also discuss the the other ones. Join us for an uncharacteristically thoughtful discussion of a silly show about child-spies, campy villains, and celebrity(ish) cameos. Digressions include celebrity-...

Stylin'! Rockin'!! Slammin'!!! Love it!!!! This week we're joined by very special guest Arthur Loades - no.1 fan of 2000s doll sensation, the BRATZ! Hated by parents and loved by... we don't really know who loved by... Sasha, Jade, Cloe, and Yasmine are the girls with a passion for fashion (and a truly dreadful tv show from which we simply can't look away). In this ep...

The show that's not quite Robot Wars! Bamzooki was the BBC's 2004 attempt at breaking into the """diGiTaL sPaCE""" A long and complicated production history, a cameo from Hewlett Packard, and a ridiculously large budget resting on the computing skills of nine-year-olds. Hilarity ensues! In this re-watch, we laugh cruelly at the comedy acting skills of childr...

"Let the challenge....................... BEGIN!" Grim Reaper men disappearing children in the Scottish Highlands? A man in leather trousers allowing it to happen? Forest-based homoeroticism? It can only be RAVEN! We had so much to say on this long-awaited topic - it's a miracle that we got it down to a very respectable 75 minutes.  Please enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed recor...

"Hello Auntie Mabel. Would you like a brick?" Come Outside was about a woman who could build walls of brick and fly a spotty plane. If you are five years old, living in a pre-Google age, and need to know how water is filtered, how pencils are made, or how a sewage plant works, this is the show for you. There's also a cute dog. This week, we explore the deeply beloved childhood class...

"It just came out! I couldn't help it, Max!" This week we're talking about a playgroup of four giant fleecy monsters. It's the Tweenies!  Twists and turns include our ranking of the nuts; the phenomenon of Scrappy Doo; whether or not it is normal to fancy a cartoon; and a lovely phone call with Elsie's mum and dad. FAB-A-ROONEY! Support the show Hosted on Acast. See a...

"Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window? WOULD YOU LIKE TO?!" The LazyTown episode is upon us. Cucumber? I hardly know her. We only eat Sports Candy here at Thots TV. This is the story of how one Icelandic builder combined competitive aerobics, motivational speaking, and Eurotrash to create the most successful kids' show of all time. Twists and turns includ...

NOOT NOOT! It's our first (real) episode and we're kicking off with our second favourite claymation penguin. Twists and turns include; the gradual dissolution of the USSR; old-fashioned tomato throwing as a form of media review; and Top of the Pops 1989. If at times it sounds like we're in an underwater cave, it's because we are. Support the show Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...

Before we get into the serious business of deep CBBC lore, we just wanted to introduce ourselves. TL;DR one of us is Meg and the other is Elsie. See you on ep 1! Support the show Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.