Thot Topics

678-TRIPLENINE-8212!!!! Baby! You know that we miss you! We just wanna kiss you, but we can't right now so baby kiss us thru the pod! This week, we mourn Nick's suspended Twitter account and start the fight for edgelord RIGHTS! Then, it's a week of cum-back singles-- we review Lil Nas X's "coming out as a bottom" banger "Holiday," the new geriatric jam from 3OH!3, Slayyyter's dick-suckin' single "...

And crowwwn thy good, with siiiiiisterhood, from C to shining U-N-T!  It's November 3rd and it's a retardy in the USA. We attempt to survive the absolute psychic torture of the NBC coverage of the election for an early cuntrunner, but we wind up throwing in the towel and settling for a silly test of the mind while we intermittently check on the results. We discover if we're smarter than a fifth gr...

Boo, girl!  They're heeeeere! (Get it? We have a new episode lol.) This week, it's the Thot Topics Halloween Spooktacular-- and we talk about all things spooky, scary, frightening, or otherwise: what are our biggest fears? What are we going to be for Halloween? Take it from two graveyard smashes: it's a ghoulishly girly little chat. Then, it's down to business, and frankly, this is some of our spi...

THOT TOPICS TRY NOT TO CUM COMP (HARD!) We hear you. We see you. And we at Thot Topics are committed to doing better for minority voices. That's why this week, we've invited possibly the most persecuted voice in the history of bisexuality: River Page! (@leftyotter) Trust the duchess when she says that three truly IS company.  This week, we review the new Hulu covid documentary "Totally Under Contr...

You stand accused of being in contempt of CUNT! Now let the freakin' music play! This week, three strong, brave, empowered women stand before us: Hunter Biden, Billie Eyelash, and Cardi B (not to be confused with Coney B, our white woman of the hour). In a Top Model-style elimination, we decide whose leaked photos are the most embarrassing and SPOILER ALERT, it's not cool hooker-fucking crackhead....

FEAR the Qdobavirus, it's comin' for that ass girl!!! We shotgunned some iced coffee before recording so Creative Juices were leaking out of our fucking eyes and pitter-pattering all over the floor this week. It's the night of the VP debates, but we have far juicier fish to fry: we discuss Trump's 'Rona diagnosis (AND that sweet dumptruck ass), how Kamala can still win (this season of Drag Race),...

Wow, now we REALLY aren't voting! It's time for some more serious political newscasting. This week, we defend Playmate of the Union Melania Trump and her rights to the status of gay icon of American history despite the pathetic objections of the freaks over at "Queerty." Then, we tune in to the OTHER queer media--CNN-- and recap the events of the first presidential debate. Does Biden stand a chanc...

Content warning: g*nitals. OUR g*nitals.   Beloved himbos and hetards of the Thot Topics sisterhood, have we got an episode for you. For the first time in what seems like months there's actually some shit to talk about-- and we are in there like swimwear, babe. First, we discuss the voting hysteria and that ad that implores you to #GetYourBootyToThePoll. (We endorse these strippers!) Then, we unpa...

Ooky spooky...  Ladies, today, we come to you hoping that you can take us as we are: not as faggots, not as podcasters, but as... oh, god, this is so hard... g... g-gaymers!!! We recorded an episode with a close sister of the pod but we fucked up the audio so badly that we decided to workshop it a bit and give it to you in its best form. In the meantime, we offer you this: an EMERGENCY episode! We...

{Demi Lovato voice} Did you forget...  Rest in peace to the chicks who were dying to be us on 9/11 (we were three and sooooo skinny)-- and to those new pledges from the Twink Revolution Extended Universe, uhm... we are simply cheesed to meet you... It's just us girls again. Both of us didn't get jobs we were really excited about but we come to you, the listeners, with our hearts open and our panti...

Yeah, we're gay. Keep scrolling. кто бы говорил! This week, we have Sam and Gian of Twink Revolution Podcast over for the sweatiest, bounciest slumber party/pillow fight of all time! Wait... omg, did we leave the door open? Ugh! Our eyes are up here, pervert! This girls' night is strictly business, baby: we get to the bottom of the Twink Rev origin story, guide the twinks on a journey as they tap...

Gosh, is it bad to say that we had a Grand Old Time with the ladies of the RNC? Beats fuckin Billy Porter that's for sure, and this is definitely some of our best episode music of all time... This week, we leave no stone unturned, no ass unwiped, no conversion therapy uncompleted, and no president unseated! Try to keep up, bitch. We recap the RNC, ponder why jumping in a moving train doesn't send...

We are fucking under attack!!! Download CUNT WARS. Pretty slow news week, but we had a lot of fun doing the albums bracket a few weeks back, so we decide to loose our hottest takes about every pop girl (and man!) in the industry one by one in a race to the TOP! (Lol) All we DO this week is pit women against each other: Rihanna and Beyonce, Katy and Gaga, Demi and Selena, Bieber and Styles, and so...

Loosen up, girlies-- cuz this episode? We lay it on THICK. This week, we're hot on the scene (we wore tennis skirts and noooo panties) of the "crime" involving Congressional hopeful Alex Morse, the mayor of Bumfuck, Massachusetts and his supposed flirtations with college students. But that's not all: we also unpack Kamala Harris's veep nomination and talk about suppressing the gay urge to support...

Hey, do you like fitness? We'll then you're gonna LOVE fitness episode in those wet little ears of yours. This week (bitch you guessed it!) we review the new Beyonce "film" Black Is King-- plus, we reimagine what it could've looked like if she actually used good music (RELAX-- we mean her own). Lucky for you we opt for only one racially charged conversation topic-- instead, we look inward at our e...

The leading ladies of the WNBA (Women's National Bussy Association) reports live COURTSIDE at Thot Topics Stadium sponsored by Roblox!! It's the first week of July Juladness and we are itching for some hot, sweaty sportsmanlike behavior!! We've taken the liberty of constructing a bracket of the year's definitive albums as told by gay guys around the world-- and we plan to get to the BOTTOM of it....

Are we sucking you off? (Nope.) Didn't think so!   GOD, you guys are lucky to have us. With the help of dearly beloved friend of the pod Cole Cunningham, we boldly go where no group of homosexuals has gone before: the world of musical theater.    In other words, we tried to watch the three hour long minstrel show that is Hamilton on Disney+, but truly could not bear all of the extremely earnest ra...

Get in the fucking pan, since you wanna act onions! God this episode was a fucking slog to get through... in the first-ever technical difficulties in Thot Topics recorded history, we lost FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES OF AUDIO from our first take and had to start fresh. We handle it okay but our mournful mood looms large over this episode. Since God came down and took our scathing hot Fire Island takes...

In what is truly our most avant-garde episode of all time, we finally fulfill a career-long dream of ours: podcasting LIVE from Olive Garden! And trust the duchess when she says the Artist Is Present. Really, what DON'T we talk about? Over a piping hot plate of shrimp carbonara, we review the new Hulu series Love, Victor, which was written by straight-questioning life forms from another fucking pl...

Lucky you, we're back! And the discourse was firmly in our wheelhouse this week: if there are two things in this godforsaken world that we know, it's being a teen, and having sex. In our first episode as *former roommates*, we dish all our dirty little secrets on sexual agency, online chatrooms, whether the stats of rape culture can be applied to Twitter, and wonder if we've done a little grooming...

Well, we knew it was only a matter of time before homosexuality extended its foul grip over the discourse, and to no one's surprise, here we are! Luckily, it's our BIcentenniel and we're feeling pretty spicy. This week, we discuss the pride parade and whether or not it's an event that should be safe for work, much less for children. (Spoiler alert: ♪fuck no baaaby!♪) Then, after sitting with it fo...

HEARTWARMING: This Chicago police officer just took a knee to motorboat our fucking tits! The girls are back with the man we bring onto our CLOSED SET for "serious episodes," Will Okay! (@okaychicago) This week, we discuss the state of the American race war, and interrogate its most pressing questions: Now that Trump has instilled Jaida Essence Law, how do we organize a legislative long-term plan...

This episode was originally written for Mozart but he decided it was too emotional to perform. Honestly, what DON'T we talk about this week? Baby Jesus finally blessed us with some piping hot TL drama and frankly we couldn't wait to baste in those juices, sweetheart. We discuss Lana Del Rey's brave defense of an outmoded form of womanhood, and wonder if the REAL perpetrator in all of this is Beyon...

Red rover, red rover... let Jerwin (@jerwin_gabriel) come over! We're SO fucking bored!! This week, we pathetically scramble to discuss "culture," AKA Katy Perry's journey of swollen, engorged struggle in the "Daisies" video, the Fran Tirado writeup in the failing New York Times, and why f-words need to stop comparing corona to AIDS. Then, Nick gets completely schooled in why Charli XCX's pandemic...

The girls are back to disrupt the white male gays-- er, wait, gaze! We mean gaze. We got bored of talking about dumb faggot shit so we decide to step up the overall IQ of the show for at least one episode. But don't worry, we haven't forgotten all of our responsibilities: we review Instant Influencer, the new reality show/infomercial hosted by James Charles, and then take tiptoe ever so gingerly a...