This Unexpected Life

In this episode, Carrie M. Holt continues her grief-cycle series by exploring lament—the Biblical practice of bringing our raw, honest emotions to God. Through Scripture, personal stories, and reflections from resources like Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy , she explains why lament becomes the bridge between overwhelming sorrow and renewed trust. Carrie outlines the four parts of lament and reminds listen...

In this episode, Carrie M Holt explores one of the most misunderstood emotions in the grief cycle: anger. Whether it’s anger at a diagnosis, inaccessible systems, unfair treatment, or even at God Himself, Carrie reminds us that anger isn’t inherently sinful — but it is an invitation. She walks through real examples from her own life (including her battles with accessible parking rage!) and shares...

In this episode, Carrie M. Holt discusses the complex emotions of guilt that often accompany the grieving process.  She unpacks the difference between conviction (from the Holy Spirit) and accusation (from the enemy), and how the “shoulds” we carry pull us deeper into shame and self-judgment. Carrie offers practical advice for managing guilt, including the importance of rest, replacing lies with t...

In this solo episode, Carrie explores fear and anxiety as one of the recurring stages in the grief journey for parents and caregivers of children with disabilities. She unpacks the distinction between fear and anxiety, drawing from Adam Young and Hilary Jacobs Hendel, and shares how perceived dangers often shape our reactions more than present realities. Carrie vulnerably shares a personal story a...

In this final episode of the month, Carrie is joined once again by her husband, Bruce, for a candid conversation about marriage in the midst of caregiving. From survival mode in the early years after their son Toby’s diagnosis, to counseling and intentional connection in later years, Carrie and Bruce share the real struggles, arguments, and victories of 25-plus years together. They reflect on the...

In this heartfelt episode of This Unexpected Life , Carrie M. Holt sits down with her husband, Bruce, to share the often-unspoken perspective of fathers in the world of special needs parenting. Together, they revisit the day they received their son Toby’s diagnosis, the wave of grief that followed, and the heavy burden of guilt Bruce carried for years. With raw honesty, Bruce describes the struggl...

In part two of this conversation, Carrie M Holt continues her conversation with Breena Holt as she shares the heartbreaking diagnosis of Batten Disease for her son Ezekiel—and the faith and hope that carried her family through his final days. Breena vulnerably unpacks her dreams of God’s glory, the paradox of relief and grief in a terminal diagnosis, and the spiritual battle she faced as Zeke ente...

In this vulnerable conversation, Carrie sits down with guest Breena Holt to share her family’s journey of raising and ultimately losing her son, Ezekiel, who battled Batten Disease. Breena honestly shares about her anxiety, honest questions about God and suffering, and the dreams God used to prepare her heart for the road ahead.  Together, Carrie and Breena explore the difference between the suffe...

In this conversation, Carrie Holt shares her personal journey as a special needs mom, reflecting on the profound insights she has gained from Psalm 23. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing God as our shepherd, surrendering control, and finding renewal in the wilderness. Through her experiences, she highlights the significance of rest, celebration, and lamenting losses while trusting in God...

In this episode, Carrie M. Holt speaks with Julie Hornok and Dr. Regina Crone, co-founders of Labeled and Loved, an organization dedicated to supporting families with children who have disabilities. They share their personal journeys into the disability space, the importance of community and faith, and how to navigate the unique challenges of motherhood and sibling dynamics. The conversation empha...

In this, the second part of Carrie M. Holt’s interview with Dr. Nicole Wilke, they discuss the importance of faith in overcoming challenges, the lens through which we should view suffering in our lives, and how children of all abilities need to know they have a purpose and a role in their families. This conversation highlights the importance of hope and the unique, beautiful calling of parents who...

In this episode, host Carrie M. Holt engages with Dr. Nicole Wilke, a researcher and therapist, discussing the challenges and triumphs of parenting children with special needs. They explore the importance of resilience, the impact of early adversity, and the role of attachment in healing. Dr. Wilke shares her personal experiences and insights, emphasizing the need for faith, community, and support...

In this episode of This Unexpected Life , host Carrie M Holt engages in a heartfelt conversation with Kara Ryska, a dedicated advocate for families navigating the challenges of raising children with disabilities. Kara shares her personal journey as a mother of four, including her experiences with her son's brain tumors and the complexities of parenting a child with diverse disabilities. The d...

In this episode, Carrie M Holt interviews Paula Romang, who shares her journey of motherhood, particularly the challenges and joys of infertility, premature twins, and a son with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome. Paula discusses her initial expectations, the reality of caregiving, and the profound grief that accompanies the realization of having a special needs child. She emphasizes the importance of faith...

In this episode, Carrie M Holt interviewed Chelsea Kuhn and Amber Pierson from Making Lemon Cake, who share their journeys as medical mothers. They discuss the challenges and triumphs of parenting children with medical complexities, emphasizing the importance of community, finding joy in small victories, and the role of surrender in their experiences. The conversation underscores the importance of...

In this episode, Carrie Holt interviews Kristin Faith Evans, who shares her journey as a mother of a child with disabilities. Kristin discusses the challenges and joys of parenting, the importance of family travel, and practical tips for families with medically fragile children. She emphasizes the need for a positive mindset, baby steps in travel, and the significance of creating lasting family me...

In this episode, Carrie Holt interviews Erika Weise about the challenges and joys of traveling with a child with special needs. They discuss the importance of family travel, the planning involved, and the memories created through these experiences. Erika shares her family's journey, the obstacles they face, and the courage it takes to make travel happen. The conversation emphasizes the need f...

Today, we hear from Miranda Bailey, a mother of four whose plans for their family didn’t turn out the way she expected when the country closed to adopting the girl they wanted to bring home, and then their fourth son was born with Holoprosencephaly. Listen as she shares her story of navigating grief, expectations, how jealousy leads to isolation, surrender, and finding purpose when caregiving feel...

In part two of this interview with Mackenzie Walters, she shares the different types of faith stories, some guardrails for sharing, and how to decide what and when to share with others. She also offers some practical advice on knowing when you’re not ready to tell your story and how our stories are often a guide for others.  Episode 11: May 20, 2025 Resources: Faith Storytellers Book: Faith Storyt...

Mackenzie Walters is the author of the book "Faith Storytellers." In this episode, she shares the importance of sharing our faith stories, the vulnerability it requires, and also the power of connection that comes from sharing. Most importantly, she describes how we can find God in the tiny details of our life stories and His presence in the unexpected.  Ep 10: May 13, 2025 Resources: Fa...

Join Carrie today as she interviews Becky Davidson, from Rising Above Ministries, who shares her “modern-day” Job-like story of being a mother to a child with disability, substantial loss, wrestling with God, the key element of lament, and the importance of community and soul care.  May 6, 2025 Episode 9 Resources: By The Brook - Register now Rising Above Ministries Rising Above Dad’s Podcast Lect...

Denial is our body’s way of protecting us from the reality of our situations, but sometimes we get stuck there. In this episode, Carrie discusses this stage of grief: some reasons we get stuck, the risks of being stuck in denial, and some practices for moving beyond it.  April 22, 2025 Resources: Jason Gray: Remind Me You’re Here By The Brook Registration Faith Storytellers Book: Extraordinary Kid...

April 15, 2025 In part two of this interview with Amy J. Brown, Amy shares how we can find hope in the chaos of caregiving, the power of not overthinking or overplanning, and the importance of slowing down. Through her mentoring and spiritual direction training, she gives practical advice for flourishing in the difficult position of being a caregiving parent and ways she’s found joy. Resources: Am...

April 8, 2025 Parenting children with behavioral issues and trauma can be a difficult position with the added shame and judgment we bring not only on ourselves but also from other people. In this interview, Amy J. Brown shares how she has reframed the narrative around her parenting, some strategies she uses to rest, and how she has found hope in the pause between chaotic events while parenting chi...

In this episode, Carrie interviews Jen Headlee, whose journey involved infertility, adoption, navigating the NICU, and her son’s many other health challenges. She discusses bargaining with God, guilt over grief, and embracing the reality of her situation. Listen in to Jen’s unexpected life story. If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review! Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief...