This Thing I Call Life

In 1998, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. 2 years later, I would begin my journey into professional wrestling. And while I have been dealing with this Disorder since I was 4 or 5, I only recently voiced that I suffer from it. This is my story.

Happy Wrestleversary to me and I get into where I see myself and question my future.

#DeMarcoReWatch is a new project I have been working on where I look at my past content and comment in short form. This is the long form companion where I give insight into my time with NWA and my 2 time reign as NWA Texas Champion.

February 2019, I walked into AutoNation West in Austin, TX in need of repair for my Chevy Malibu and ended up taking home a 2019 Chevy Equinox. 5 years and 100,000 miles later I give my thoughts of the journey with the vehicle and more importantly with the dealership from sales people to service department to general manager.

I get into where Steve De Marco is in 2024 in relation to wrestling. I also discuss some of the struggles in my mindset and how it has limited me. I discuss how building a persona as a shield has worked and not worked for me. I talk about a potential project I am working on and the future of this podcast.

As I review my attempt at going through God Of War: Ragnarok's latest update in Valhalla. My goal was to record a review as I defeated Tyr one final time before going on to the next game in my library. Let me know what you thought.

And I choose to review it. Not a total in depth review, but a review. I even give some thoughts on Mortal Kombat 1. I discuss how my asthma decided to come back and caused me to throw my back out...twice.

I talk about some issues I have been dealing with since 2018. I give my thoughts on how 2018 and then 2020 impacted me and my view on myself and my place in the wrestling industry. I discuss feeling judged, my self-doubt and how outside voices have impacted me...even when they are the vocal minority. I get into it.

It took me a few recordings to find the right words for this topic. I'm not sure if I was really able to, even after so many takes. This is part wish list and part what if. I discuss my wish list throughout my time with the group, where I saw the group going, where I saw the "GSL 2020" web series going and thoughts on a reunion.

I delve into the IWE experience, my faults, some of my questionable choices and how I saw the promotion going into 2010, 2011 and beyond. I also discuss if I would run a promotion, show or training facility now. I also discuss what I see the what if and pitches portion of these recording and what they ultimately serve as.

In this episode I give a pretty detailed account as portraying Mr. X as part of Team International for Booker T's Reality Of Wrestling. I go over some never before discussed for the character. I also delve into my thoughts and feelings during that time period. I also talk about the idea being pitched of X taking over Team International.

I originally was gonna just talk specifics about a pitch I made to Booker T, during his King Booker days, when I became a student of his at PWA. As I dove deeper, I felt the bigger story was the timeframe and events around the pitch that led to it. I ended up delving into that time period in 2006 being a period of what if. Specifically a certain choice. I delve into what became a therapy session w...

Before I get into the meat of the topic, I give an update on getting our Equinox back after the Catastrophic Motor Failure Event 2 months prior. I also talk about Ghost Of Tsushima withdrawals. And then I pitch an idea about filming the cinematic journey of Bryan Keith as a love letter to Texas wrestling. I even pitch how I would film it and casting ideas. A delve into my mind.

This isn't an actual review in the sense of breaking down the game. I actually give my thoughts while completing the task that brought me back to complete the story of a New Game + session. I give some spoilers, but mainly I just give praise to an amazing achievement in entertainment. This is more than a game. It is an experience.

I give my thoughts on "Stray", the game where you play a cat and try to navigate thru a world where although humans have left...humanity seems to find a way. I then give some updates on what is going on with me.

I felt the need to share a message with all of you.

The continuation of the last episode. When will the part arrive? Will we get a loaner? Will the lienholder/financial institution show any humanity? This question and more will be answered in this ongoing saga of backed order parts, spare parts shortages and the business of major auto dealerships.

On July 19, 2023, I put my vehicle into idle to unload some items and put them in our new storage unit. When trying to put my car in gear and hitting the accelerator, the vehicle would coast. Days later, I would hear the phrase "Catastrophic Motor Event" for the first time. What would follow was a deep dive into the world of engine replacements, my dealership's tactics from their service departmen...

Should I listen to the voice in my head that suggests another run in the wrestling ring? I decide to think out loud, vocalize those thoughts, record it and release it for the public. Get inside my mind at this particular point in my life.

My family and I moved this week. We downsized from a 4 bedroom, 2 story house to a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. I give a day by day account of my mindset, what brought us to downsize and how the move came together. Plenty of stream of consciousness and part therapy session.

I started this episode with a quick review of WWE Night Of Champions and then started stream of consciousness recording where I get into what gives me some of my biggest anxiety, my fluctuating credit score and flirting with the idea of wrestling again at 49.

I was dealing with a panic attack and decided to record an episode. Having to gather thoughts or mentally prepare to speak took the edge away from the panic. I gave an update on my Cyberpunk 2077 progress, debated if I had wrestled my final match in 2022, talked a little AEW and WWE Backlash and even disclosed some of the causes of my panic, anxiety and depression.

When I originally thought of recording this, I had an idea of where it might go. It went somewhere else, but I appreciate that I can put out stream-of-consciousness content. I discuss hindsight, playing the what if game when it comes to the industry and how looking back is shaping my mindset moving forward.

I decided to voice my appreciation for both The Last Of Us (Part 1) video game and the HBO Max series. I talk about the similarities, difference and how they compliment one another. I deep dive into both and talk a little about potential future recordings.

I decided to give game review a chance in this episode, and my first review would be "Hogwarts Legacy". I do go pretty in depth on my experience with the game, without to many spoilers. I also give my quick review of my 2 hour trial with "Marvel's Midnight Sun". My hope is to do more reviews as I complete games.