Think Queerly

" Out North: An Archive of Queer Activism and Kinship in Canada " is described as, “Canada’s definitive visual guide to LGBTQ2+ movements, struggles, and achievements.” I’m honoured to bring you this interview, one I have been waiting to record since late July 2020. In reading "Out North" to prepare for the podcast, I realized how much I have been both a witness to and a participant in much of the...

Creating Anything New is a Form of Transformation. Metaphorically, transformation is like the potential that exists inside an apple seed. Without water and soil for it to take root, the apple seed remains unremarkable. Yet, with the nourishment of water, nutrients from the soil, and the right conditions the seed will transform from an almost unnoticeable speck into a tree that provides hundreds of...

We are creatures of habit. We find it easy to do the things we have repeatedly done, so long as the original conditions that supported that habit or action are still relevant or present. So, what does that mean? If you’re no longer doing something that used to be easy, something you’ve done almost unconsciously for years, ask yourself, “What’s changed?” To answer this question, look to the last ti...

On the morning of New Year’s Eve, I published, “ Your 2020 Year-End-Review Personal Evolution Process .” I shared a simple 5-step journaling process to review the meaningful highlights, milestones, and insights that shaped you in the year gone by. To show the effectiveness of the process, I shared my own review in complete detail. Later in the day, I wrote in my journal, “What’s missing from my 20...

“The grace to live with an inner sense of delight.” I am pleased to share this intimate discussion with my cousin, Kelly Walker. If ever there were a person to speak with about the fragile but necessarily formative transitions that happen in our lives, that require both trust and love of the self and others, it is Kelly. Kelly and I share a purpose in life; helping liberate people and transforming...

Document and reflect on the events in 2020 for the impact and meaningfulness they brought into your life.  You might want to book 1-2 hours in your calendar to work your way through this process. You may also find that you need to add to it over the next few days as you remember important milestones and insights. 2020 Year-End-Review Personal Evolution Process Define your new beginnings : Define t...

One of the biggest mistakes we make in human relationships is expecting others to act in a particular way.  We may expect them to accept and care for us in a way that will satisfy our needs, but that is not something we can control. We may get emotional, angry, or frustrated when people don't do what we expect them to do.  In the second bonus part of this episode, "Personal Evolution Practice (PEP...

It’s an interesting intellectual as well as an emotional challenge right now, trying to imagine how to feel or experience joy in another way, at a time when an event, a tradition called “Christmas” — nay, “The Holidays” for the politically correct —  has been shut down because of a pandemic. What conditions can be met that will allow you to “revel” in those Christmassy holiday feelings that are ba...

In this episode, I share a process I created to manage prediction and response in disruptive times. I recorded this originally as a video on March 28, 2020, and while the content speaks to many of the circumstances of COVID-19, this is a valid and useful process to deal with disruptive change and understanding what you can and cannot control.  Read the article to follow along: " What’s Out of Your...

When you prioritize what’s most important to you, instead of what you need to get done, you reduce frustration, increase joy, and experience more freedom. We all have too much to do, too many tasks, expectations, and distractions. If you want to live the life of your dreams, why not spend a little time figuring out what’s distracting you. What’s at least one thing you can let go of so that you can...

It is only the ego that, needing to be right and recognized, holds on to resentment. If you continue to hold on to the past, clinging to a past narrative, however painful — one that you play over and over, embellishing, re-living, and re-creating — you are choosing to stay back, one foot firmly rooted in a past event you cannot change. Read the article for today's Personal Evolution Practice: " Se...

Helping human-hearted creatives cultivate acceptance, connection, and tranquillity to experience more freedom, impact, and joy in life. The intention of my coaching philosophy is to help you create more of what you want to experience out of life through the self-mastery of your mind and emotions. The coaching practices and thought-exercises that I teach are an intersection of self-examination, the...

My personal manifesto is a set of truthful statements. They are not affirmations, they are not my purpose, nor are they future-based outcomes. They are statements of facts that I see demonstrated in my daily actions. The statements are not about trying to reach perfection or making goal-based proclamations. Instead, this is about speaking my truth into reality and in the present moment. For exampl...

What you believe you know can be questioned. What you are certain you know may be a mistake; a fault of logic. Even what you think you know may be challenged with new information, a clearer perspective, a better understanding. Knowing that you are right is arrogance. Thinking that you know what you know with absolute certainty is based on the egotistical fear of being wrong, not smart enough, or u...

Expectations are artificial projections onto the external world about something we want to force into being - either unrealistic expectations of ourselves or limitations we attempt to umbrella over others. Expecting something to happen or someone to do something is out of alignment and discordant with the natural order. To say this differently, just because you wish it were so, doesn't mean you ha...

A few weeks ago I received a comment on one of my most-read articles, “ From Sissy Boys to Straight-Acting Gay Men .” The person shared the following: “I don’t agree with the premise of this article that gay men have to learn to forgive themselves. The act of self-forgiveness is often promoted as a panacea for life’s ills, in this case, self-shaming as a gay man. Self-forgiveness suggests that som...

To argue that “religious freedom should outweigh LGBTQ rights” is a denial of the existential freedoms of LGBTQ people, which is also a slippery slope to denying freedoms to other “marginalized” peoples. 📖 Read the post here: " There Is a Profound Difference Between Human Rights and Religious Beliefs ." Did this episode inspire you in some way?  I'd love to know what you thought or how you felt....

If you want to liberate and experience your most authentic self, you will have to risk leaning into fully expressing your uniqueness, your difference, and your quirkinesses. 📖 Read the post here: " Risk Being Who You Already Are ." Did this episode inspire you in some way?  I'd love to know what you thought or how you felt. What did you practice and what was the result? Send me a message at https...

No one can make you feel the way you feel. I cannot make you angry. A politician cannot make you angry. A friend, partner, or your dog cannot make you happy. Only you can choose your feelings based on your behaviours and beliefs. It’s worth repeating... Your feelings are your own, and they are based on your unconscious patterns and beliefs. Seeing the truth of this requires self-compassion and min...

Religions are constructs of the mind used to control the minds of the many. There is a reason why the bible refers to followers as sheep and the spiritual leader as a “herder.” Even the language of religion communicates corralling and controlling. If we look deeply within ourselves to study the nature of consciousness, we discover that we are all connected. We all come from the same place: this pl...

Taoism is known for using metaphor, paradox, and dualities to express the natural world and the natural order of reality. Sometimes people find it confusing trying to understand the relationship between, for example, ‘good’ and ‘bad’ within the relative nature of the universe as described in the Tao Te Ching . The mutually arising duality in this context of this episode is humility and egocentrici...

Show Notes How do you look beyond what you believe to be true, fixed, or finite? Sometimes what we see is not what we see. We most often understand polarities from extreme ends. I propose we shift our focus and look to the middle ground. Recall what I talked about in Thinking Queerly, Week 1, “ Divisiveness Is an Illusion on Either Side of Balance ,” what is the single point of origin, the middle-...

The 6 Principles for Cultivating Open-Hearted Personal Leadership The 1st Principle: Non-Contention The simple act of compassionate, open-hearted listening reduces the threat response for another person talking. As a result, the energy of the person speaking is mirrored back to us in ways we are not conscious of but that we sense and interpret as providing safety.  This feeling of safety (the lack...

Welcome to my new, year-long series, “Thinking Queerly” —  a revisiting of my book, “ Think Queerly: Meditations & Critical Reflections On Liberating Humanity .” Over the next 52-weeks, I will be selecting and re-working what I hope are the most impactful 52 passages (there are about 110) to dive deep into the well of metaphor — the place of paradox where queerness dances unabashedly. After each “...

The beauty industry — which includes cosmetics, fashion, weight-loss and body-building programs — is dependent upon a conventional concept that ugly is something universal and quantifiable based on what you don’t have. This becomes a system in which one’s perceived beauty is never good enough by comparison and needs to be continually improved. Through repeated advertising of images that the beauty...