They Called This a Movie

Nonsense thrives this week, as we watch a movie that desperately tries to fill its plot holes with claymation monsters in the 1992 film  Winterbeast .  Join us as we discuss the fact the movie takes place in the fall, count up all the plaid, and try to decide which beast is our favorite.  Want more from TCTAM? Join our Patreon at just $1 a month. The Patreon page is now live and you can check it o...

It's our June Movie of the Month this week, as voted on by our Patreon members. For June, we're celebrating Summer Vibes with a movie that takes place primarily in New York during the winter. But there is that 15 minutes that takes place in Jamaica. It's the Tom Cruise bartending movie,  Cocktail , on this week's They Called This a Movie. Join us as we discuss how different this movie was versus o...

We're going back to one of our childhoods, as we watch a movie that one of us watched more than once back in the day. It's  Home Alone copycat  Remote on this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss the lack of shenanigans, our hero being stuck in an attic the whole movie, and a yodeling German with a little mustache.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it ou...

It's a film 20-plus years in the making, and it looks every bit of its age, as we watched  Dangerous Men  on this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss the music, the disappearing main characters, and all the sleazy things the men in this movie are ready to do at the drop of a hat.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it out at Patreon.com/TCTAMPod . Find us...

Vin Diesel goes into uncharted territory as a man without family, so we're stuck listening to him talk about his Dungeons & Dragons character, as we watched  The Last Witch Hunter .  Join us as we discuss how we feel about the modern New York setting, Vin Diesel's inability to look vulnerable, and spot the twist a mile away. We also preview our upcoming podcast that will be exclusive to our Pa...

Wax on and wax off this week, as we watch a young Hilary Swank learn from the wise Mr. Miyagi in  The Next Karate Kid , just as  Karate Kid: Legends hits theaters.  Join us as we talk about Hilary Swank's running, Michael Ironsides doing too much, and the lack of karate.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it out at Patreon.com/TCTAMPod . Find us on Bluesky, Instagram, and Threads @TCT...

Get your VR helmet and your pizza margarita, as we head to Psychobook in the very weird, very dreamlike  Jesus Shows You the Way to the Highway.  Join us as we discuss the crazy turns this movie takes, try to decipher exactly what's happening, and worship at the feet of the second coming of Jesus, Roy Mascarone.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it out at Patreon.com/TCTAMPod . Find...

Welcome to another bonus episode in a series we are calling "Pilot Season".  We are currently trying out some ideas for our brand new Patreon, so consider these bonus episodes as proof-of-concept ideas we are currently trying out for exclusive Patreon content in the future.  This go-around is called  Movie Blind Spots.  Each of us made a list of movies we hadn't seen before that we felt like we sh...

We're heading underground with a minimal budget to find some jewels, fight robots, and let Sybil Danning have her way with us, as we watch  The Phantom Empire,  on this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss the cheap sets, morlock wardrobes, and Jeffrey Combs's tight pants.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it out at Patreon.com/TCTAMPod . Find us on Blue...

It's time to be on your best behavior, as we go to grandma's house with Michael Jai White, as we watch him beat up some would-be intruders in the 2024 Tubi Original action-comedy,  Don't Mess with Grandma .  Join us as we discuss how Michael Jai White should have been a bigger star, discuss Billy Zane's costuming, and discuss what we would want to see in a sequel.  The Patreon page is now live and...

We're on a mission with the CIA's top agents to save the world from a super secret formula that has fallen into the wrong hands. It's  Challenge of the Tiger on this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss kung fu bull fights, Bruce Lee impersonators, and the most unique tennis scene ever filmed.  The Patreon page is now live and you can check it out at Patreon.com/TCTAM...

Take a trip back to 2011 when horror remakes were all the rage. And what better way to tackle a remake of an all-time great horror film than copping out by calling it a prequel and lifting the plot beats wholesale? It's the 2011 version of  The Thing for this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss how unnecessary this movie feels, the fact this movie made the director t...

It's Wrestlemania week, and we're celebrating the GOAT John Cena, as he makes one last appearance at the big event. This week, we're watching one of his early starring roles in  12 Rounds .  Join us as we discuss Cena's attempt to be a serious action star, Aidan Gillan's accent, and how closely the film resembles the plot to  Die Hard With a Vengeance.  The Patreon page is now live and you can che...

This week is Wrestlemania Week, so as a bonus episode, we are trying out some new content. We recently launched a Patreon and are currently working out what kind of bonus material our listeners would be interested in, so we're going to do a series of "pilot episodes" in the next coming weeks to test out some ideas.  This week, we're starting off this pilot season of sorts with pro wrestling conten...

No, we're not watching cowboy Tom Selleck in the Outback. We're watching Gary Busey act like a dog in a Christian propaganda movie with the director of  Longlegs . It's  Quigley on this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss Gary Busey's trajectory from Oscar-nominated actor to unhinged maniac, praise the dog's acting ability, and question the quality of video games in...

Throw on your best long-sleeved shirt and dress combo and crank that Avril Lavigne, as They Called This a Movie travels all the way back to 2008 and the days of ABC Family Channel. With Dan on vacation this week, Mark and Anthony decide to take the opportunity to watch one of their favorite terrible television shows:  The Secret Life of the American Teenager .  Join us as they discuss the pilot ep...

Take a ride with us this week on a rolling desk chair that David Arquette never gets out of, as we plunder the depths of Tubi with  2099: The Soldier Protocol , an Aussie-produced snorefest not good enough for The Asylum Brand of Approval.  Join us as we discuss where we checked out, discuss the fonts used in the credits, and recommend a better movie worthy of your time. We also finish out our Mar...

This week, we've decided that everyone has been too happy these days, so we're here to make everyone else miserable with the Feel-Bad TV Movie of 1996,  Freshman Fall , also known as  She Cried No .  Join us as we discuss the darkest sitcom crossover ever, how relevant this movie still is, and explain one of our histories with this movie.  Find us on Bluesky, Instagram, and Threads @TCTAMPod and o...

It's Saint Patrick's Day this week on They Called This a Movie, and unfortunately, we're all out of Warwick Davis movies. We're stuck with the WWE-produced  Leprechaun: Origins , starring Hornswaggle.  Join us as we discuss the director's contempt for the series, how much we miss Warwick Davis, and how little Hornswaggle is even in this.  Find us on Bluesky, Instagram, and Threads @TCTAMPod and on...

Let's get ready to rumble!  We work ourselves into a shoot this week, as we drop kayfabe to talk about former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette in the 2000 wrestling comedy,  Ready to Rumble .  Join us as we discuss the odd casting of Oliver Platt, groan at the attempts at comedy, and remind everyone that Bill Goldberg ended the career of Bret "The Hitman" Hart.  Find us on Bluesky, In...

It's the movie that Stephen King doesn't remember making. And he might be better off for it. This week, we're watching trucks come to life to terrorize Emilio Estevez in  Maximum Overdrive.  Join us as we discuss Stephen King's addictions during the filming, how annoying Yeardley Smith is, and get lulled to sleep by the second act.  Find us on Bluesky, Instagram, and Threads @TCTAMPod and on TikTo...

You know what movie is awesome?  Rambo III . So it would make sense that an Italian-produced ripoff would be just as awesome. You'd be wrong, and so were we, as we watched  Strike Commando from Italian smut-peddler and occasional action film director, Bruno Mattei.  Join us as we discuss the similarities between the two films, Reb Brown's charisma, and praise the final act's gratuitous use of expl...

Happy Valentine's Day!  We continue our tradition by heading back to Forks, Washington, and check in on our favorite sparkly vampire and the sullen teenage girl that has stolen his heart. This year, we're watching  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, as is tradition on They Called This a Movie.  Join us as we discuss too many wedding speeches, creepy werewolf imprinting, and demand justice fo...

It's the most wonderful time of the year. And by that, we mean it's Gerarduary: the time of year when we come together to celebrate Gerard Butler.  This year, we're watching Gerard Butler watch more interesting things happen from the privacy of his own space station, as we watch the 2017 disaster/government intrigue movie,  Geostorm .  Join us as we discuss poorly-hidden British accents, actors th...

Fair is fair!  We try and start a revolution this week, as we watch Helen Slater raise hell over $600 in  The Legend of Billie Jean .  Join us as we discuss Pat Benatar, try to figure out why Helen Slater wasn't a bigger star, and decide on an ending befitting Joan of Arc.  Find us on Bluesky, Instagram, and Threads @TCTAMPod and on TikTok @theycalledthisamovie. Our theme music was written and per...