The Worst Writer in the World

Rufus & Howard discuss the novelisation of Gremlins (1984), which attempts to fill many plot holes, tells us exactly what Gizmo and Stripe are thinking, and explains where Mogwai came from in the first place.

In the last episode, we read 'My Life Story' by 12-year-old Howard. This time, we read present-day Howard's update.

12-year-old Howard looks back over the significant moments of his life so far - to prove to us that he is the worst person who ever lived.

A collection of short writing by Very Young Howard. Including a play called The Quarrel, a description of 7-year-old Howard's ideal castle, and a detailed itinerary for when Canadian Sid visits.

We read two short essays by 13-year-old Howard. In the first, he answers the question: do you believe in love at first sight? In the second, he gives us a detailed analysis of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet.

Young Howard's story explores when it is morally acceptable to steal from an old lady.

We watched the 2002 Tom Cruise spectacular Minority Report - and now we're going to discuss it. In eye-watering detail. So grab a mouldy sandwich & a green glass of milk and hide your eyes from those spiders...

We watched the 2002 Tom Cruise spectacular Minority Report - and now we're going to discuss it. In eye-watering detail. So grab a mouldy sandwich & a green glass of milk and hide your eyes from those spiders... ***This episode contains ALL THE SPOILERS for Minority Report (2002).

Just days after creating the seminal classic Jack's Turkeys - Young Howard wrote this highly derivative, gender essentialist, anti-royalist (one out of three ain't bad) story of Santa... going crazy. CONTENT WARNING: suicide (in reference to the movie Gremlins).

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

14-year-old Howard dreamed of writing for Doctor Who. And he wouldn't let constant rejection - or the fact that the TV show had been cancelled - stop him.

As a special bonus treat, this week we have a previously-unreleased episode of The ManBuyCow Podcast!

When Howard was just eleven, he wrote a story about all his classmates & teachers getting killed one by one. In this episode, we find out if he received a good grade, or therapy.

In this episode, we read from Howard's middle-school Religious Studies exercise book - to discover what he learned about the Ten Commandments, and his personal opinion on commandment number six: thou shalt not kill.

Last week's writing challenge was for Rufus to write a traditional detective story, with no sci-fi and no Grett Binchleaf. In this episode, we hear the result.

Howard challenges Rufus to write a traditional detective story - but first, we need to learn about all the different types of crime.

We read 11-year-old Howard's newspaper article about an unusual caterpillar - called "A Green Thing that Grows...".

We read several stories that Howard wrote at primary school - including Haunted Hotel, Whodunnit, and the epoch-defining Nut Planet.

Young Howard decided that The Wind in the Willows just wasn't realistic enough - so he rewrote it.

Our latest drunk writing challenge - to write Mister Men or Little Miss stories!