The Upshot

Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod about the funniest stories in sport THIS WEEK. On the pod today: Quincy Promes FINALLY arrested in Dubai, Rangers try to sign Mussolini’s grandson and did Joshua Zirkzee jizz his pants in Barbados? Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts...

Get part 2 instantly and support the pod when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers With his Year 9 gags and hyperactive punditry, it’s easy to forget Rio Ferdinand was a Rolls Royce of a defender. But off the pitch, the wheels sometimes came off. He hospitalized beloved stewards, flogged fake Versace to teammates, and starred in sex tapes with Frank Lampard. From playing in the Premi...

On the pod today: Drug smuggling Arsenal strikers, Arctic Monkeys trash the Emirates and a Mexican poisoning scandal... Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - i...

Support the pod and unlock an extended cut and exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers These days, Liverpool are a well oiled football machine. But back in the mid-90s, the likes of Robbie Fowler, Jamie Redknapp and Razor Ruddock were the ultimate Premier League playboys. They dated Page 3 girls, necked 25 pints after matches and pissed themselves to ward off defenders. From...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the pod today: The former Villa midfielder who hospitalised two teenage players after bursting into the...

With special guest Paul Watson. Listen to the Sweeper Pod: https://linktr.ee/sweeperpod  With its vapid commercialism and unhinged fans, it’s easy to lose faith in modern football. But venture beyond the major leagues, and you’ll find the freewheeling chaos that once made it great. They pick drug lords in midfield, blame ghosts for their sex scandals and sell stars for sausage meat. Dig out your p...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the pod today: The former Villa midfielder who hospitalised two teenage players after bursting into the...

With special guest Kieran Maguire Support the pod and unlock an extended cut and exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers From East End porn kings to South American bank robbers, football's biggest clubs have been run by some absolute wrong'uns. They burned down stadiums, smuggled cocaine and started themselves up front for crunch cup ties. Meet football's craziest owners… Un...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Plus: Steven Gerrard’s miracle water startup  and the World’s Strongest Man is rocked by a sex scandal Get...

Leicester Market, 1974. A old lady in a tartan headscarf haggles over a knobbly turnip with two cheeky chappies. But little does the veg-hunting gran know, one of these young lads will reach the pinnacle of his field, delighting hordes of drunken brits and bedding hundreds of women in the process. And the other boy? Well, that was Gary Lineker. From dogging down country lanes to breaking out of pr...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Michael van gerwen’s backstage brawl and did Villa legend JLloyd Samuel fake his own de...

Welcome to part two of the Giggs saga, as we devour the juicy details of a bombshell family sex scandal, Ryan embarks on a career as a poet, and we ask the big question… who’s worse: Ryan or Rhodri? Links from the pod: Sunday Herald Ryan Giggs frontpage: https://images.app.goo.gl/1rvnCWj2TPCH3Mah6  Ryan Giggs named in parliament: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWEEiz19LSI  BBC media lawyer names...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Furious neighbours spoil David Beckham’s birthday bash, Glen Johnson’s nicking toilet s...

Get part two instantly when you sign up for our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=ogshownotes Ryan Giggs was once nestled snugly between David Attenbrough and Sir Trevor McDonald in the pantheon of national treasures. But in the space of six short weeks, it all came crumbling down. As Fergie’s golden boy was unmasked as Britain's dirtiest dog.  Looking back, the clues had been there...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Chris Eubank’s getting fruity again and Celtic captain guzzling deep fried pizzas befor...

With his cane, monocle and cut glass accent, Chris Eubank isn’t your typical boxer. But he wasn’t always the fruity aristocrat you see today. He had knife fights at dominos tournaments, went on two day police chases, and raided an arcade for 20,000 10p coins. From poisoned chow meins to watching his own circumcision, this is the story of Britain’s weirdest world champion… Links from the pod: Esqui...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Our impending courtroom battle with Gianni Infantino, Romeo Beckham cucks his brother Brooklyn, and we unmas...

Get part two RIGHT NOW and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers  With his cane, monocle and cut glass accent, Chris Eubank isn’t your typical boxer. But he wasn’t always the fruity aristocrat you see today. He had knife fights at dominos tournaments, went on two day police chases, and raided an arcade for 20,000 10p coins. From poisoned chow meins to watching hi...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Managers on the piss at Spoons, Joey Barton’s Turkey Teeth conspiracy theory and Rory McIlroy’s brutal jilti...

Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers  Ravel Morrison. Adriano. Freddy Adu. The staircase to footballing glory is littered with scintillating starlets who flew too close to the sun. But where did it all go wrong? From hardcore pornstars to a Serie A striker torpedoed by Kim Jong Un, meet the wonderkids who weren’t… With guest George Wilde Link...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Pipe bombs at Old Trafford, managers stealing players’ credit cards, and mystic animals boiled alive. Links...

Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers  As his dad lies in the wreckage of his car, Garrincha has fled towards the woods where a goat once popped his cherry.  From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, this is the story of what happened next… With guest Yasmin Mills. Links from the pod: Elza Soares - Mas Que Nada:...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Wayne Rooney pissed on the streets of London and Erling Haaland accused of assault by Man City’s mascot. Lin...

Get part 2 NOW and unlock our exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Everyone knows Brazilian footballers love 3 things: boozing, showboating and shagging anything that moves.  But none compares to Garrincha, the magical winger who lifted two World Cups, fathered 14 children and lost his virginity to a goat. From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlf...

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (Make sure you sign up in your browser not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). On the show today: Neymar’s threesome spawns a pregnancy - but who’s the daddy: the brazil striker or his lookalik...