The Upshot

The name Kevin Keegan should conjure images of glittering European nights, mazy dribbles and Balon d’Or wins. But for most people, football’s unluckiest icon is remembered for four words: I WOULD LOVE IT. And he’s had plenty of bad luck. He was beaten up by drug dealers, discovered Father Christmas’ lifeless corpse, and got shot in the face with a bow and arrow. From undercover gigolos to getting...

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April:  https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635 (Tickets go on sale 10am Thursday) Plus: John Terry fights to free Britain’s most notorious prisoner, Newcastle fans shagging in the Marseille toilets, The Olympic Star whose lawyer advised him to murder a witness. EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free...

Malmo, Sweden. A 6ft 5 arsonist speeds away from a burning hot dog stand in a rented Lexus. Little do the cops know, the mystery bomber is playing in the Champions League on Tuesday night. It’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the cocksure striker with a criminal streak. From robbing the manager to terrorising randy priests, this is his story… Follow Joel on Insta: www.instagram.com/joelgolby And buy his book:...

Plus: disgraced Spanish FA chief Luis Rubiales is egged by his uncle, the Serbian WAG who’s dad was a warlord, and our man Down Under gives us the inside scoop on Ashes Eve. Sign up to The Upshot’s Patreon for EARLY ACCESS TICKETS TO OUR LIVE TOUR next April. Do not miss out! https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers  (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Use code UPSHOT at h...

Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops.  And he’ll never trust the establishment again. But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started. In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather… Links from the pod:  Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/w...

Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by security EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐 Links from the pod: Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 Join The Upsh...

In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero. A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night. But then things got a bit weird. In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed. This is his story… Links...

Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent. Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner Links from the pod: Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_query Zenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248  D...

Silvio Berlusconi is the all powerful King of Italy, and behind the scenes, he’s up to some very, very seedy antics. He dresses escorts as Barack Obama, lures George Clooney into his lair, and is rocked by an ungodly number of sex scandals. Links from the episode: Christmas party speech: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668281158889603072  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informat...

On the pod: The midfielder who stole the second most famous painting in the world, and an Aussie Surfer’s despicable deed outrages India. EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐 Links from the pod: Louvre heist detective: https://share.google/images/twil1XYbeD1bwkILY  Vitor Pereira arguing with Wolves fans: https://x.com/footba...

Milan, 1986. Italian billionaire Silvio Berlusconi lands on the San Siro pitch in a helicopter blasting Ride of the Valkyries. He leads AC Milan to two decades of glory, but behind the suntan and scudettos lurks an empire of sleaze. Silvio scrapped with Liverpool fans, lured the EU president to a sex party and branded the German chancellor an “unfuckable lardarse”. And he was still elected Prime M...

Plus: Pierluigi Collina strips his fellow refs naked, the man with a Man United crest tattooed on his forehead, and is Tom Daly a bastard? Links from the pod: Fergie and Kenny Dalglish sharing a bag of chocolate buttons: https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1979949849542828491  Man Utd fan tattoo: https://share.google/images/yLW19WTsvKd1mGNZA  Pep with autograph hunters: https://x.com/City_Chief/statu...

These days, Wrexham Football Club is a saccharine Disney+ fairytale starring white toothed Hollywood megastars.   But there was a time when the club’s biggest hero was a champagne swigging convict with a thirst for beauty queens and fake bank notes. His name was Mickey Thomas. From seshes with George Michael to screwdrivers up the aris, this is the story of the Welsh George Best… Get an extra bonu...

Plus: the Argentine fan who turned up to his own funeral EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐 Links from the pod: Infantino at peace summit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPww9n1jdRj/  Irish Cape Verde star: https://x.com/BBCMOTD/status/1978036280392098003  Joe Willock runs out of petrol: https://x.com/Allansoldfriend/statu...

Buckle in for part two, as Ali hangs out with Sadam Hussein, begins a four way marriage, and knocks down a coked up Marvin Gaye. Links from the pod: Press conference before Joe Frazier fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1pZPCLz-k4  Speech before Rumble in the Jungle: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDxRvuZSpM3/?hl=en-gb  Pic of Bob Arun: https://share.google/images/8WiLs9DXniRQNmCU4  Get an ex...

Plus: your chance to eat dinner with the mum of the second best player in the world Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner Links from the pod: Jamie Redknapp’s apology: https://x.com/Lord_Sugar/status/1974227330068590899  Claude Littner’s most savage moment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g14HC6NagRs  Eat dinner with lamine yamal’s...

Listen to part 2 right now when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers (It’s cheaper when you use your browser to sign up instead of the patreon app) New York City, 1970. FBI agents listen in as a naked Muhammad Ali is chased round a seedy motel room by his knife-wielding wife. She’s just caught him in bed with another woman. In just three hours, 300m people will watch him take on Joe...

On the pod today: Neymar hooked on shisha and an Arsenal star falls victim to a cruel 48 hour prank. EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐 Links from the pod: Michael van Gerwen’s scrap: https://x.com/rallyjef3/status/1972215606708699329  Kazakh traditional version of the Champions League song: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPK...

Buckle in for part 2 of our Ryder Cup of wrong’uns, with sordid sagas starring the likes of Seve Ballesteros, Sir Nick Faldo and John Daly, the king of hooters.  Plus a golfer who killed five men, and inside the secret parties where escorts are stationed on each green…. Get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Hosted on Acast. See...

On the pod today: Gabby Logan subjects her son to sex chat and Jamie Vardy’s foul-mouthed Italian lessons Links from the pod: United Strand attacked by psycho: https://www.instagram.com/p/DO3LeutDOm9  Ange Postocoglou’s translator sent off: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/m7a6zl/the_interpreter_for_yokohama_f_marinos_manager/  Get the batshit crazy story of Ozzy Osbourne right now when yo...

With their neatly pruned greens and spotless trousers, it’s easy to assume golfers are a tame and placid bunch. But look beyond the Rolex adverts, and you’ll find a game swimming with drug use, wife swapping and MURDER. From serial killers to shagging on the green, welcome to the Ryder Cup of Wrong’uns… Listen to part two RIGHT NOW, and get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you...

On the pod today: Edgar Davids has his priceless art collection stolen and JP’s brush with Rolf Harris. Links from the pod: Climax to 2023 Excel World Championship final: https://youtu.be/QwNoFOUiSiE?si=8_aILjA4u5Ui8DY-&t=585  Excel theme song: https://www.youtube.com/live/GKbIPnu9CRI?si=j-rh9Kz7zamNtQ5j&t=14964  Get the batshit crazy story of Ozzy Osbourne right now when you sign up to our Patreo...

In the summer of 2002, Ireland was a special place to be. The Celtic Tiger was roaring. Westlife had just chalked up their 10th number one. And a star studded squad set sail on a Far Eastern adventure. But as World Cup fever sweeps the nation, one man refuses to play ball: captain Roy Keane. From screaming in the dressing room to pre-match benders, this is the story of Roy’s meltdown in the Pacifi...

On the pod today: Lamine Yamal ships in 70 playboy bunnies and Neymar inherits a billion dollars from a dead old man he’s never met EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal: https://nordvpn.com/upshot  Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Links from the pod: Lamine Yamal losing his passport: https://x.com/Yamal_Xtra/status/1964820881248809086  Choupette the cat on her private jet: https://share....

He’s the pint-sized poacher with a naughty streak. Jermain Defo bonked lapdancers, bit opponents and spiked his teammates with Viagra. From bogus weddings to back seat rendezvous, meet England's friskiest forward… Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Links from the pod: Biting Maschereno: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/18878500019...