The Unburdened Leader

  Most leaders go through a period where they take stock of the trappings of the life they believe they are “supposed” to live. They examine the assumptions they’ve made, the choices they’ve fallen into, and the circumstances that have shaped their stories.   And they realize—however painfully—that it all needs to be torn down. I’ve been there, too. Brick by brick, they dismantle the details of th...

  We push ourselves until we crash.   We people please until we lose ourselves.   We hide our truth until we’re crushed from loneliness and disconnection.   Instead of dealing with the stress of our present, the anxiety of our future, or the trauma of our past, we numb out.   We drink the wine or take the pills or binge on the ice cream—and, oftentimes, we cross the threshold from numbing out to a...

Leaders are especially good at hiding from love and the vulnerability it brings in ways that look deceptively bold. This can be a dangerous contagion, I’ve found, encouraging others to also hide behind the protectors of Hubris. Individualism. Perfectionism. Hustle.   I’ve seen how spending so much time hiding behind who you think you should be makes you forget who you are, what you value, and what...

  The past often acts itself out in the present and this can be super frustrating for established leaders—especially when it feels like you’ve already done the work to move past those struggles.   I know it has for me and so many of you, too.   We’ve read the books, gone to therapy, hired a coach, and went to the workshops.   We’ve committed to the deep work so that we can lead, thrive, and create...

  Leadership is hard and it is not for the weary.   Leading myself and others in the face of injustice while also staying aligned to my integrity and values has required an immense amount of courage, clarity, confidence—and a lot of deep breaths.   In times of conflict, my ability to stay aligned with my integrity and core values has often been a reflection of the inner work I have done to tolerat...

  Somewhere early in my life, I got the message that acknowledging my pain was not okay. Being vulnerable opened me up for attack. It was dangerous. Messages like “never let them see your sweat” often got mixed up with “no pain, no gain.” So there’s a mixture of: don’t show your pain getting the best of you yet show yourself conquering it all.   And it’s not working.   Just look at the stats of th...

My body was telling me to take a step back and reevaluate.   Five years ago I had pneumonia and I couldn’t really do anything other than prop myself up on the couch and breathe...   ...breathe and think about how I ended up in this mess   I’d run myself into the ground. My schedule was full-to-overflowing. My life was packed and stretched to the edges. I had no margin for error, no space to breath...

Leaders often struggle to make time for healing until their body sends out an SOS.   They postpone and avoid the need for deeper healing and then get slammed by illness, exhaustion, or burnout.   And at the heart it? There is usually the burden of unaddressed trauma.   Insomnia, chronic pain, hair and skin issues, digestive distress, mood swings, and illness after illness–if you’re experiencing th...

Meet leaders who recognized their own pain, worked through it, and stepped up into greater leadership. Each week, we dive into how leaders like you deal with struggle and growth so that you can lead without burnout or loneliness. If you're eager to make an impact in your community or business, Rebecca Ching, LMFT, will give you practical strategies for redefining challenges and vulnerability while...