The Truth that Heals

I met John as a postulant in Delaware a few years back. Although he was only there for a few months we became very good friends. Today he shares his story on how he was recruited into the Community, how he was able to leave the Community, and how he ultimately found True Love. Here is the link to their CatholicMatch story https://plus.catholicmatch.com/articles/crystal-wore-an-arwen-costume-when-s...

In the movie Vanilla Sky there is a scene where "revolution of the mind" is mentioned. Tom Cruise then starts to understand that he is in a nightmare and wants to wake up. When I was in the cult everything was "perfect" until I started seeing the truth for what it really was instead of the "truth" fed to me by the community. In today's episode I want to share how I started to change my mind about...

people often ask me how come I stayed in this religious community/cult for so long. Today i want to answer that question by sharing how i was recruited in the first place

For today’s episode I had the honor of chatting with fellow podcaster Alycia who is the host of Call For Convent Reform. We discuss the reasons for her podcast and the things she saw in the convent which need to be addressed. (After editing this episode and fixing a few glitches I am republishing this episode. As a podcaster I am still learning so please bear with my mistakes :) )

Have you ever been in a cult? Or in a religious community that took things way too far that abuses were allowed and at times even justified? Today I share two ways in which I saw abuses getting justified as being for a greater good. I am not a expert or doctor of psychology or anything like that however in this podcast I simply share what my experiences were after living in a cult environment for...

In today's episode with Claudia Moreno Villanueva I open up about some of the verbal abuse that I and other members had gone through and the process that needs to start in order for healing to happen. For me it was a mixture of verbal abuse, religious bullying and harassment, manipulation and shaming. After speaking with Claudia I felt so much resilience within me and a new sense of hope. It had b...

In today's episode I am joined by my good friend Daniel Holland who also joined the same religious community that I joined. You will hear his story from his point of view.

The Catholic Church has protocols in place to make sure that exorcisms are done carefully and with much respect to the person in need of deliverance. In today's episode I want to share my experience of having exorcisms done on me and the rest of the members in a bizarre way and how the founder, in his cult like ways, used exorcism at his own whim instead of following the proper protocols which hav...

In todays episode I quoted from an article I found on spiritual abuse. The link to that article can be found here https://www.ncronline.org/news/accountability/spiritual-abuse-occurs-more-frequently-believed-vatican-official-says Sadly there is spiritual abuse that happens and my goal is that by speaking up people will be aware as to what it is and be open to allowing victims to heal instead of al...

There are so many dark areas in cults. I joined a religious community in 2004 and was there for 11 years. I thought I was just joining a good religious community until I discovered after leaving that in fact the way some superiors ran the show was very cult like. The side that wanted to do things the right way are being very transparent and are working on doing things the right way and I applaud t...

In today's episode I want to shed light on how people can mistaken being in a toxic environment as carrying your cross and following God. With the cross there should also be prayer and discernment. For music shout out to my cousin Mauricio. You can find him on Instagram under @decideriobeats and you can find his band @wallatheband

In today's episode I will be discussing some questions and clarifications which were brought up to me by a few of the listeners. We'll be talking a bit more of some of the cult like details and how these tactics make people feel that it is their fault for being the victim. Also will be discussing the need for priests and religious men and women to be allowed to have a proper education.

In today's episode I want to share the tactics which I experienced as well as observed on how the Founder Fr. Bing took the community down a path of fear and paranoia and made it a cult like experience. Trigger Warning: This episode deals with a lot of abuse. If you would like to read my blog format which may get into different details of the same tactics you may find it here at this link https://...

Read my blog post Why I remained Silent part 3 here https://ryantonyblogs.wordpress.com/2022/04/01/why-i-remained-silent-part-3-the-founder/ In this episode I talk a bit deeper about the lies that were fed to the members and how there is abuse that is allowed to happen in the Alliance Movement. The mission might be good. I am not against spreading devotion to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. I am how...

In this episode I continue talking about my experience in Alabama after trying to find peace with the religious community I had just left. I thought it would be nice to see them but instead I saw how messed up they treated me and other ex members. You don't wanna miss the commentary!

For years I have been living in silence about the things that I went through as well as the pain and suffering I observed in a religious community, which in my opinion, evolved into a cult and has a cult leader. This story is Part 1 in a series of 3 parts. This part of my life was very critical because I still did not see this as a cult at the time but once we get to the end you will understand wh...

As I was leaving the religious life I was approached by two religious members from my community. One of them was offering me his prayers, support and wishing me the best. The other member tried to shame me and put me down which resulted in me putting my foot down that his behavior towards me would not be tolerated anymore. Towards the end of this podcast I call out the members who have been cult l...

In this episode I talk about the current journey I am on when it comes to healing and the long road that I have been on over the years. Sadly, many victims of abuse are silenced and shamed. I want to bring hope by sharing my journey and the difficulties that I have been in. For years I had felt all alone.  In this episode I also pick up from where I left off in my last episode and describe an...

I continue sharing my experiences from the religious life on this podcast. In today's episode I share the story when I was sent to a jungle area up in the mountains in the Philippines. At first I was under a superior who treated me well until he was replaces by a superior who loved to slap, humiliate, and physically beat members through the vow of "obedience." I had tried to do every thing in my r...

In this podcast episode I share about what I loved from living the religious life. It’s a beautiful vocation however the life of obedience can often be abused. I want to make a distinction between the wrong ways of religious life and the beauty of the religious life when it is done the right way.

In this podcast episode I tell the true story about how I held on to my sanity while being isolated from the other community members and how my family life was played with. Psychological abuse and gaslighting was a big part of it. There is a web of lies in this story and I want to get to the truth.

In this podcast I talk about how there was a force of good and evil that was very much alive during my time as a religious brother. There was one side of religious life that was truly Christian and there was another side of it that was Cultish and abusive. The Cultish members tried to ruin my life and found pleasure in seeing my sufferings and the sufferings of others which caused me severe PTSD....

In this podcast I touch briefly on the excitement I had when I first joined the religious life and the depression and misery that resulted after my return.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of people have reached out to me. I had to make a response to that episode because I want to be clear: I am not doing this to please people or as some sort of healing. I primarily want to do this because I believe that my story is something that can be shared with many people, particularly those who left religious life. Entering the religious life as a Catholic was s...

My first podcast. Briefly interviewing Aaron Gutierrez on the life of being a skateboarder in Texas.