The Tottenham Chronicles

🥁It's been a nourishing FIVE wins since our forgettable West Ham defeat a month ago. We have recently witnessed the return to form of Bale and quite possibly Harry Kane's most accomplished finish ever as they lit up victories against Burnely 4-0, Wolfsberger 8-1 on Aggregate, Fulham 0-1 and Palace 4-1. 🇦🇷All this served to tee up a clash for the ages as we faced 10th placed Arsenal in what ultima...

🥶Spurs find themselves in February 2021 convulsing between 2 conflicting world's (🤑both horrendous🤬) threshing in the mire, a dead squad tied to a renounced regime. Will the necromancer be allowed to continue his purge so that it may rise once more?  We look at Liverpool, Brighton, Chelsea, West Bromwich, Everton and Manchester City games. Yowzas. 🤡  

This week the Chroniclers spend far too long considering: 🤬 the upsetting 1-1 draw with Fulham 🤭the tasty 1-3 against Sheffield United and Ndombele's unique talent. 🤿 the bog standard Wycombe Wanderers victory 1-4 in the F.A cup. 🧄We also preview Liverpool, talk through the Rodri silly offside that prompted a rule change and why it's a shame Spurs were deprived of getting Frank Lampard sacked...

☠️ Leeds walk straight into José's Lair. 3-0 🙀Brentford try to give us Coronavirus as we head to Wembley... In April... 2-0 🚮Dele is mugged off by his own bench in Marine. 0-5  

😈 This week we rip into the Liverpool, Leicester and Wolverhampton Wanderers game's and hypothesise why José parks the bus and then summarily he throws everyone under it.  💩Perhaps to get a few more players in the January window? Who knows. Enjoy and Merry Christmas. What's left of it.👍

👾In Tottenham's biggest league game since 2010 is tonight the night we finally become winners we've all been afraid of and prevail at fortress Anfield?💉 🦷Oh and we look back at Crystal Palace, Royal Antwerp and Arsenal.🧘🏼

It's hard watching for everyone isn't it? but at least we are top of the league?

🛎Bale takes 3 minutes to take all 3 points against strikerless Brighton in a 2-1 win that lifts Spurs to 2nd. 🧸José throws toys out of the pram with 4 half-time substitutions against the number 1 matriculated side in Belgium, Royal Antwerp 💔Pochettino waltzes back into our lives, flaunting it on Monday Night football and compares Dele to Ronaldinho surely not.

- It's all hail Vinicius this week, as we applaud the Brazilian's standout debut for Spurs in the Europa League. - We take a look at how Trippier, Foyth and Vertonghen are doing abroad owing to my lack of cancelling my Premier Sports subscription. UGH. - and finally we examine the match that only a mother could love against the blunt instrument that is Burnley and how it was every bit as crucial a...

On the show this week we slobber all over the 3-3 with West Ham; We take a forensic and yet apoplectic look at Project 'Big Picture' which turned out to be Euro Super League. OOPS!!!  and finally we discuss whether José is the perfect Covid Coach to deliver the prize we all crave.

Spurs ended the-fixture-pile-up-from-hell week with a resounding 1-6 at Old Trafford; a scoreline that beat the 1-5 demolition of United in 1959 (WHAAAAT?) when Bobby Smith was banging them in.  Golly. What could it all mean ? 🤔   

- DIER TAKES A CARABAO ON CHELSEA'S LEAGUE CUP HOPES - IT'S A 1-1 VAR HORROR SHOW AGAINST NEWCASTLE - AND IT'S MACCABI OR BUST IN THE Europa League PLAY OFF FINAL

It's death by high line at St Mary's as Spurs send Southampton packing 2-5 followed by a 1-3 win in the Europa League playoffs against KF Shkendija in Macedonia to set up a tie against Maccabi Haifa. Ugh. It's gonna be a long year. 

Everton, Plovdiv, Bale and anti Communist Paramilitary movements are put under the microscope by the Hackney marshes prognosticators.

The Sunday morning suckers are back to pore over 3 middle order pre season wins; whether Hjobjerg could be the new Jordan Henderson and the Amazon fly in the ointment documentary 'All or Nothing'.

Hojbjerg and Hart are on the agenda this week as preseason resumes and everyone's in quarantine and why Lionel Messi after 20 years at Barca wants to be announced as a Spurs player in the bonus episode of All or Nothing documentary.

The chroniclers forensically dissect whether Troy Deeney will make Ndombele the best footballer in the world whilst holding Harry Kane in a headlock.

"He pulled his pride string." With Europa League qualification in the bag the chroniclers return to review the last Morbid-ball game of the season against Crystal Palace as we put the case forward for Troy Deeney to become one of ours. Heaven forbid!

Tottenham's potential hijacking of Leicester City's Champions League place continued to make good progress at St James' Park in front of some journo's, a stretcher and some baked on pigeon faeces.

A victory against Arsenal eh? Well I'll be damned.

It is our privilege to pick the sweetcorn out of this 0-0 display against a plucky Bournemouth. Much work to do!

This is one of those games where you have grave concerns that this is some poor kids first - and it would put them off for life. We enjoyed it though.

We slosh around in the guts of Tottenham's latest sufferball defeat to Sheffield United in the Premier League...Ouchy!

The boys return to gorge themselves on the lacklustre hammers.