The Tenacious Mama: Confessions of An Adoptive Mother

Confession: I can’t imagine what it would have been like to parent my son without the help of medication to manage his symptoms of ADHD and ODD.  I explain that although I am no expert and I believe this is a decision not to be taken lightly, medication certainly helped Lane.  I don't judge families who don't medicate their child; I ask that you not judge those of us who do.   In this ep...

Confession: When Lane was little, not having a daddy was much harder on him than being adopted was.  As a single adoptive mama, this was not something I was prepared for.  I also provide an update on my parents as they start to rebuild their lives in their temporary housing after losing everything in the Palisades fire of January 7, 2025.   Included in this. episode: *update on my parents' li...

Due to the recent and very sudden loss of my family's home of almost 40 years in the Pacific Palisades fire, instead of a confession, I will be reflecting on the memories that made their house a treasured home.   If you know others who have been impacted by the fires, feel free to share this episode with them.  Their grief and sorrow must be as raw and incomprehensible and my family's. ...

Confession: I wanted to adopt a child who looked like he or she could have been my biological child.  In this episode, I also share my preferences for a child when going through the matching process, my blog from the day I brought him home, our Gotcha Day traditions, and an update on my relationship with his first mom.   Included in this episosde: *Lane's sense of humor: ADHD joke *asked for...

Confession: Last week I made contact with Lane’s birth mother for the first time.  I had no idea what to expect, but after meeting with her, I am cautiously optimistic that when he meets her and builds a relationship with her, it will be helpful for Lane’s healing.   I also share why this seemed like the right time to locate her, his nervousness/ambivalence about it, her response when I knocked on...

Confession: I became a mother for selfish reasons, not necessarily that I wanted to give a child a better life.  When Lane was little, people would often say, "He's so lucky to have you!" and my response was, "No, I'm the lucky one.  He made me a mama."  I also share all of the experiences that prepared me for motherhood, a blog entry from my baby shower 14 years ago,...

Confession: I started telling my son, “It’s not your fault you have all these cards stacked against you.  However, it is your responsibility to figure it out and be a good person.”  I will detail the many layers of Lane's trauma that have hindered his ability to form secure attachments with others and have shaped who he is today.  I also share stories highlighting his sense of humor when he w...

Confession:   When Lane was in middle school and exhibiting extreme behaviors almost daily, I told friends, “The next person who says, 'there is a special place for you in heaven,’ I might punch ‘em in the throat.”  I will explain why platitudes like this one often filled me with rage and what friends and family members can say instead.   I share a few entries from the blog I wrote during the...

In this first episode, I share an overview of my parenting journey as an adoptive mother thus far.  Additionally, I go into detail about my first confession:   I used to say that I should write a book about my parenting journey.  I joked that the title would be, “Raising You Is Killing Me”.  It was funny.  Until I truly started to imagine taking my leave of this world.   **It is crucial to note th...