The Tango Banter

Tango gives us a lot of things to be grateful for but most of the time we might take them for granted. We are used to being able to go out on a regular basis and spend a few hours hugging people and listening to amazing music. One day I hope there is a way to measure brain activity while we dance... There is nothing like it! And most people in the world don't know of anything like this. In thi...

Some people you LOVE dancing with. With others... you dance for other reasons. Sometimes these "other" dances are lovingly referred to as "charity" or "community service" tandas. For our first "together" episode, my husband Alex and I tackle this somewhat uncomfortable topic. I have never met a tango dancer who was not at least somewhat conflicted on this is...

Giving and receiving feedback is a necessary skill that we have to develop in order to progress, both in tango and in life. But why is it so difficult? Why does it cause so much tension and what can we do to make the process more effective (and pleasant!)? In this episode I banter about my own struggle with giving/receiving feedback and some of the methods I developed over the years of teaching to...

What limits us social dancers most is not the technical stuff, but rather the psychological and emotional stuff. Tango is notorious for causing conflict and many couples break up after starting to learn this dance, at least that’s what happened for me. In this episode I banter about the source of most tango conflicts - the question of “whose fault is it?” when something is not working correctly. I...

Continuing our discussion from last week, in this episode I go over the most common complaints I hear from leaders in regards to followers. There is some overlap here, but there are certain things that followers in particular should keep in mind to make their partner's experience more comfortable and enjoyable. Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sotangoworld Sign...

Nobody is perfect, but the social dance floor is not the place to air our grievances. So many things remain unsaid and dancers remain unaware that certain habits and behaviors make a poor impression and prevent them from getting more dances. In this episode I tackle some of the major complaints that followers have of tango leaders and provide suggestions for how to remedy the situation. Join my pr...

“If you want to get more dances, just wear a shorter skirt!” my tango friend exclaimed as if it was SO simple! But I believed him, and that’s what I did early on as a dancer. And it worked… but not really. In this inaugural Tango Banter aired in January 2022, I share some of my personal story of how I got into tango, why, what it was that drew me into it and ultimately, what ended up transforming...

Is dating another tango dancer a good idea? How do you deal with all the inevitable emotional ups and downs it can bring? ⁣ ⁣ These are the questions I'm tackling in this episode and I share a few insights that I have gained over the 12 years of romantic relationships in tango.⁣ Oxygen Tango Milonga Thursday night November 2, info will post here: https://www.facebook.com/oxygentango Join my p...

If you've ever felt at a disadvantage in tango because of your age, you’re not alone. Many (if not most) women in tango feel somehow disempowered by their age, especially once we start getting over 40. We start doubting our abilities to attract the dancers we want… In this episode I dive into the topic of women, women’s age, and how it impacts our experience of tango.  Join my private FaceBoo...

It's common to hit a wall, or multiple walls, when learning tango. You might open yourself up to working with new teachers or signing up for a tango competition, only to realize that you know less than you thought, your have to unlearn a bunch of stuff, and there are all sorts of things wrong with your dance. In this episode I banter about how this happened (repeatedly) for me and some of the...

Starting tango with your girlfriend/boyfriend is typically the worst idea for your relationship. It’s a common story tango dancers jokingly retell, of how they came to tango because of someone, and then that someone didn’t pan out, but tango did. But this banter is not about the typical story. There are those few cases where both the love of the relationship and the love of tango are able to coexi...

Does getting older put you at a disadvantage on the dance floor and lead to getting less dances? For many women this has been the case, and unfair instances of ageism are common topics of conversation at the milonga. But some women defy the norms and tap into other, less common strategies for getting the dances that they want. Today my guest is Sarah Pettit, who at age 67, regularly travels and da...

There are many things out there we could learn how to do, and plenty of them we don’t really care to… But then there are other things (like trying partner dancing, or rollerskating, or surfing) that trigger a particular blend of longing and intimidation when we witness someone else doing it. We feel like we would love to do it so much, but there is just no way we ever could… This banter is about T...

There are many paths to tango. Some people fell in love with the music first, others saw it in “Scent of a Woman (and it’s not even tango!), and then there are some who start their dance journey by playing Dance Dance Revolution. For this episode my guest is Stephen Aldaco who has lived a riveting life of adventure and dance exploration. We only got to scratch the surface here, I think I am going...

Tango seems so fancy at first, so many moves to learn, so much technique. But you talk to any seasoned dancer and they will tell you it’s really not about the moves… it’s really something else. What is it that we are after on the dance floor? And what value do we bring to our dance with another person? This is what this banter is all about. NEWSLETTER:  https://unique-architect-417.ck.page/365ba04...

Marathons have been a significant component of most dancers' yearly schedule. We joke that we plan our lives around the yearly tango events. But something has been missing, it seems, and in this episode I banter about what tango marathons are about, why some of us are feeling dissatisfied and what we can do about it. NEWSLETTER:  https://unique-architect-417.ck.page/365ba048c6 FACEBOOK GROUP:...

Tango may take a lifetime to master, but what are the most essential building blocks that lead to the most payoff as quickly as possible? In this episode I banter about the commonly overlooked and forgotten tango skills that, when developed, can totally transform one’s tango experience. TANGO SUMMER SPECIAL: https://imsotango.namastream.com/product/62377  Join my private FaceBook Group: https://ww...

To develop as a social tango dancer you need to work on 3 things: movement, musicality, mindset. Of these, mindset is the most challenging to master and is the one most responsible for people leaving tango. In this episode I dive into some surprisingly common feelings and emotions that plague the majority of dancers, regardless of their level and experience. Sign up for my newsletter: https://uniq...

What was tango like in Buenos Aires in the 1970? Is it possible to imagine a person who only speaks in tango lyrics? Is tango socialist or capitalist at it’s core? These are just some of the questions Oliver Kolker and I banter about in this episode. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WfmFPsBb5JM Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1281203268944812 Question...

We've all been there. You accept a cabeceo, walk across, take the embrace, and realize that the next 12 minutes are going to be hell. Well maybe not hell, but still, very unpleasant. What do you do? How do you survive/endure/thrive in that kind of situation? Is it even possible? In this episode I ponder the reasons for such unfortunate experiences and how we can make them easier on our bodies...

Tango is a sexy dance. It makes us feel things we had never known are possible. It is euphoric and blissful, it makes us delirious with new kinds of desires, feelings, sensations. But sometimes this newfound raw power can expose us to painful and even traumatic experiences. In this episode I banter about my own sensual awakening that transformed my life and the windy path I took to learning how to...

Most people who start tango have to face many emotional obstacles and some don’t succeed. Those who do somehow manage to develop the skills to deal with the intense emotional and psychological pressure that this dance frequently imposes on us. In this episode we banter about what these major obstacles are and how to develop the necessary skills to overcome them. Join my private FaceBook Group: htt...

Tango has changed a lot since it first began at the beginning of the 20th century. One of the main shifts revolves about the power dynamics between men and women and women stepping up and learning to lead. Not everyone is excited about this change because change in general is difficult and uncomfortable.  In this episode I ponder our relationship to change and my perspective on how tango has been...

So frequently in tango our biggest breakthroughs happen when we are somehow breaking down, when we lose hope, or feel like there is no way we are going to figure it out. In this episode I banter about my own journey through the ongoing  discomfort of breakdowns and breakthroughs in my tango and how I learned to use them for personal empowerment and growth. Join my private FaceBook Group: https://w...

What limits us social dancers most is no the technical stuff, but rather the psychological and emotional stuff. Tango is notorious for causing conflict and many couples break up after starting to learn this dance, at least that’s what happened for me. In this episode I banter about the source of most tango conflicts - the question of “whose fault is it?” when something is not working correctly. I...