The Soul Enchilada

This Week’s Listener Question: I have listened to the Soul Enchilada episodes on forgiveness which address forgiving an individual. But how do I forgive the church, not an individual, but rather a very large group of people?   We hear you. We’ve each been kicked out of Bible Study before…   People have high expectations of “The Church” as an institution and of the people who inhabit it, whether th...

A “mid-life crisis” isn’t just for balding men in speedos buying sports cars. It can happen to anyone, at any age. Because it’s not about age, it’s about STAGE. We go through major life shifts every 7 years or so. But the transitions aren’t always smooth. It’s in those “spaces in between” stages where we face a choice: stay stuck out of fear, or embrace the ambiguity of change as an adventure.   I...

“Nice girls don’t talk about sex. Because if they do, it might happen…” Right??? Um… no.   Sexual desire, our “erotic part” is a significant, wonderful, and NORMAL part of us. Ignore it at your peril. Because when we keep it in the shadows, it will eventually jump out and hijack us.   This week, we talk about sex. And we give you questions to ask yourself and your partner to help you get what you...

When it comes to sex, do you ask “What’s the point?” Well good! Because you should. Sex is complicated. On one hand it’s a fantastic bonding agent, a chemical cocktail of pleasure. On the other hand, it can sometimes feel like an obligation weighed down by the baggage of body image and past experiences. This week, let’s work on our erotic intelligence, and maybe even schedule a horizontal meeting...

Since opposites attract, it’s understandable that over time it’s possible, even easy, to drift apart to the point where you feel like you’re just roommates. Relationships can be a little like plants: you’ve got to water them a lot to keep them alive. And that takes work.   What do you do when it seems like your partner just isn’t willing to put in the effort?   This week we talk about three types...

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so let’s talk emotional intimacy. (We’ll get to THE SEX TALK next week. Think of it as foreplay).   How we relate to those we love dictates so much of our day to day happiness, and it changes over the years. We go through phases that can either draw us closer together or drive us apart.   Like everything worth having, it takes work. So listen in while we...

Still not sure what you want to be when you grow up? Well, welcome to the club of lost women! Many of us have lived our lives according to a script written for us by society, our parents, or someone else who has no idea of who we really are. That script usually has us “being it all” as some combination of Martha Stuart, The Pioneer Woman, and (insert name of sex symbol here). But what if that’s no...

We’ve got hopes. We’ve got dreams. But for many of us, the idea of putting ourselves out there to go after them is just too intimidating. It may be fear of failure, it may be Imposter Syndrome,” where we’re afraid that if people saw the “real” us, they’d know we were a fraud. As women, we’ve been socialized to be humble, to not push for the promotion or ask for that raise. Because when we’re aggre...

Two classic songs for a classic problem: trouble at work. No job is perfect, but what do we do when the environment becomes toxic? When it does, many of us are torn between the part that wants to stay and fix, and the part that wants to flee. A reality of life, though, is that we often have to settle for doing a little of both. Because “if we go there will be trouble, but if we stay there will be...

Ready, set, go! We’ve started the new year. But what if you’re overstuffed and overwhelmed, juggling more balls than you can keep in the air? This week you’ve got permission to join us in unbuttoning your pants to make a little more room, and going through an exercise Christine calls “Dumping the Bucket.” While we can’t guarantee a better fit around the waist, we can tell you it’ll make your mind...

They say it takes about 90 days to form a new habit, which is probably why 92% of us fail to keep our New Year’s resolutions. So for the 8% of you who are successful, way to go! For the rest of us, it’s time to change the types of goals we set and how we view ourselves in the trying, failing, and succeeding. So listen in as we talk strategies for starting the year off right.   Small Group Question...

Ah winter… the days are short, the weather’s cold and we’re stuck inside after having just survived the holidays. Depression is an incredibly complicated condition, a blob of emotions unique to each of us. About the only constant is that we shouldn’t weather it alone. But as our friend the lobster shows us, pain can have a purpose and be a catalyst for change, an invitation to growth. We just have...

Forgiving someone can be so hard that we needed TWO episodes to cover it all. Research shows that women’s brains are great at keeping a record of wrongs. So if you find yourself out of nowhere pacing back and forth, mumbling obscenities to a person who isn’t even there, it’s not your fault….. But it isn’t good, either. So tune in to this week’s conversation where we go over 5 Steps to move you fro...

This week we take on conflict and forgiveness. Are you a “get over it and move on” kind of gal who avoids confrontation at all costs, or do you keep score? Join us this week, as we talk through the good, the bad, and the ugly of conflict resolution strategies. Small Group Questions: 1. What conflict style was most used in your family of origin – aggressive, avoidance, passive aggressive, or assert...

This week we wrap up our Holiday deep-dive by talking about how to get through them when they’re full of holes. Those holes can be in the form of an empty seat at the table from a new loss, an old loss that continues to blindside us this time every year, or even just our own unmet expectations for how things should turn out. We never really “fill” those holes, but we can avoid getting trapped in t...

You survived Thanksgiving! Nice job… but the holidays ain’t over yet. So this week we wanted to tackle this listener question:   “I don’t get along with my in-laws. How do I set boundaries with the most difficult people in my life?”   Setting boundaries before you get together may seem a little weird, like you’re being high-maintenance. But boundaries are beautiful. You can meet your needs, while...

Thanksgiving is a couple of days away, so this week we wanted to tackle this listener question:   “My anxiety ramps up in social settings, so I tend dread the holidays. Any advice for preparing for, calming down, and enjoying the holidays this year?”   Most of us have at least some degree of anxiety around the holiday season. It may be trying to meet the expectations of others, or those we have of...

We know that we’re made up of lots of different parts. But what do we do when our “pissed off” part seems to rule the roost?   This week’s listener question is: “ I feel angry all the time. I’m angry at work, home, while driving, everywhere I go. How do I deal with my pissed off parts?”   Suppressing anger just makes us bitter, and eventually comes out sideways in the form of broken dishes, shatte...

We may look like we’re in one piece, but we’re really just a bunch of parts. Kind of like a junk drawer. And each part has a voice that’s competing for our attention. Whether it’s Perfectionist Peggy, Pollyanna People-Pleaser, Bitchy Queen, or just some random Pissed-Off Parts, we are constantly being nagged. This week’s question is: “What do I do when all my parts are screaming at the same time?”...

We women are pretty good at getting help with the things we need. Car broken down? We call a mechanic… Gallbladder acting up? We call a doctor… Lost? We ask for directions… But when it comes to our emotional health, many of us choose to hold it in and try to push through alone. This week, we tackle the question: “Why are so many Christian women skeptical about therapy?” Enjoy the podcast. If you w...

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