The Soft Shoulder Podcast

Wait, what? Can’t remember what you were “supposed” to be doing? Deep into a project and then…you feel kinda lost? This is your pep talk about regrouping, redefining, realigning – and why it is not just something you do when you’ve gone “off track”. In fact, making reassessing part of your practice is its own gentle power. the art of self marriage the soft shoulder podcast The post Time to Realign...

What if you think marriage is bullshit? Or a huge letdown? Or undeniably anti-feminist? What if you love the idea of loving yourself forever but the word marriage is just…. ew ? In this episode Danette makes a case for reclaiming the idea of marriage, including the role it has played in the success of her 20 years of commitment to herself, and offers a prompt to help you find the gift you might ne...

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is notice how easy it could be. And sometimes we do need some help to access our own strength. It’s not a willpower problem. Listen in to be reminded that you have everything you need right where you are. Want to take a workshop with Danette to help you lock this in? If you’re listening before August 4 th 2021, Self Love Matchmaking is a one hour writing based wor...

Making space for a new feeling? Decluttering is one of Danette’s favourite self care practices. In this episode, she shares her 5 favourite questions to ask when deciding what items to keep or release. The post Favourite Decluttering Questions appeared first on Radical Creative Sanctuary .

Sometimes the win doesn’t look the way you think it should. And those are the sneaky celebrations – so sneaky they almost go unnoticed. But you deserve the confidence that comes with noticing how you have changed. Sometimes the growth is in out-growing goals you set when you didn’t yet know how much more amazing it could get. The post Sneaky Celebrations appeared first on Radical Creative Sanctuar...

If you often rush from one project to the next without slowing down to feel your achievements, this is for you. This is a reminder to stop and allow yourself the fruit of your labour. In this episode, Danette shares some phrases you can use to practice receiving, and one little tweak that makes all the difference when you are using your senses to help you enjoy what you’ve created in your life. th...

As things begin to “open up” after lockdowns, you may find yourself feeling pressured to move faster than you are comfortable. What if you took lessons from responsible kink to help you navigate your post lockdown transition? They have more in common than you might think. theartofselfmarriage.com radicalcreativesanctuary.com allisontarr.com techcoven.com The post Be a Good Lover to Your Post-Lockd...

How quickly personal growth can turn against us! When you strive to be your best self, it can be easily to slip out of love and into fix-it mode. Being in a relationship where you’re never quite good enough is a special kind of pain…especially when that relationship is with yourself. This is for you who loves to grow and needs a reminder that you are someone worth loving. And you can start right n...

Marrying yourself and dating other people? Maybe for the first time? Not sure how to talk about it or nervous about the response you’ll get? In this episode, Danette helps you imagine what a catch you’d be by listing the perks of dating someone who has already married themselves. theartofselfmarriage.com The post Why Date Someone Who Has Married Themselves? appeared first on Radical Creative Sanct...

Who wants pain? How can a strong self marriage save you – and others – unnecessary pain? It’s like travelling with or without a compass. You might still get a little lost along the way, but having the clarity of direction can make all the difference. Theartofselfmarriage.com The post How Self Marriage Saves You Unnecessary Pain appeared first on Radical Creative Sanctuary .

So often we think we’ve decided on something but we really haven’t. What happens to our energy when we do that? What do we miss out on, by not making the commitment of choice? Especially when it comes to growing and learning, making a conscious decision can make all the difference. In this episode Danette helps you consider what you want to experience, how money can help you step into the ring and...

If Soul Mates aren’t loot bags that get handed out to everyone. And relationships with others don’t solve all your problems, as you may already know. What are you waiting for? Are there experiences your heart wants but you are not allowing yourself…until? Until you meet “the one” or are gifted something from an external circumstance? Where is this taking you, really? And what if you stopped waitin...

How can you date yourself when in a lockdown? How do you know if you really are committed to something? Do you force yourself to finish every book you start? What does that have to do with self love? In this episode, Danette speaks from the heart (and from a playground!) offering many journal prompts to help you find your way into what you really desire. Getting real about what you are committed t...

Why do we fantasize about dating musicians? Danette shares her theory that goes beyond “feeling cool” and explores what we might really be after when we want to be the subject of an artist’s admiration. What does it mean to “love like an artist” and how can we do that for ourselves? The Art of Self Marriage program begins this September – find out more at radicalcreativesanctuary.com/self-marriage...

Have your self-visualization tools lost their spark? Were you a perky little personal growth nerd once and now feel a little….stale? What does it mean to be a fully realized you? What is the difference between a dreamy future self and an unattainable desire of “perfection”? What does self marriage have to offer in this? You’ll want to listen to this episode where Danette takes a performance by Tri...

Of course you can love yourself without ever marrying yourself. Lots of people love their partners and sometimes spend decades in a committed relationship without ever saying “I do”. So how might self marriage serve you? In this episode Danette shares the 5 ways in which self marriage serves you as a container for your relationship with yourself – and how that can also inspire some interesting cha...

It’s the life hack you swear by or swear at. This one is for those of us who want to know the support of a morning routine and are currently struggling with other more pressing self care that seems to be in opposition to us getting up at 5am for a power hour. Do you know the misery of judging yourself for “wasting the day”? How can you have a morning routine if you are sleeping past noon?  In this...

Just like art, your heart healing is something that you create in your own way. But what about guides, support and how-to’s from others? What are we learning about art, when we follow a paint-by-numbers masterpiece? What do we learn about our own healing when we follow the steps to someone else’s healing? In this episode, Danette offers an empowering way to look at this. Remember: You do not have...

So you’ve been doing lots of work on setting boundaries and upholding them. You’re getting better at it all the time. Wonderful! And…how are you when other people set boundaries? Do you respond in the way you most wish people would respond to yours? How is self love work related to honouring other people’s boundaries? This episode is about helping others help you to treat them better. Also –...

Don’t jump in without setting yourself up for success – contemplation is the first step towards making successful, sustainable change. In this episode, Danette shares her experience so far in leaving Instagram in 2021, and walks you through some thoughtful perspectives to help you choose if a social media break is something you even want in the first place. Books Mentioned: Digital Minimalis...

What if you agreed to exchange gifts without spending a dime or lifting a finger? What if you could give the most extraordinary gift without worrying about waste or getting it wrong or participating in unethical consumption? What would you love to give if you could give anything? If it’s the thought that counts, dream BIG. In this episode, Danette confesses why the gift she gave her parents was te...

You lovely podcast listeners hear it first. Listen to Danette nerd out hard on why colouring is an amazing self-care practice, why you might not be colouring even though you want to, and how art is simply making a series of choices. Self Love Colouring Club is open for registration at radicalcreativesanctuary.com/selflovecolouringclub . American listeners: don’t forget to put the YOU in colouring!...

Lions + Tigers + Gremlins – oh my! Whether you call them your inner critics, inner haters, limiting beliefs, non-productive paradigms, we all have them. When you begin doing personal growth work you discover them pretty quickly. Then you know how you get stuck and so you just stop getting in your own way forever and ever! Kidding. These inner armies are magical masters of disguise. They have to be...

If you resist taking baby steps towards a goal, listen in. Do you feel like baby steps are easy, boring or lazy? Are they unsatisfying and almost patronizing? Do you crave the glory of the giant leap and think baby steps are for losers? In this episode Danette offers 3 insights that will change the way you see baby steps forever. And nothing against babies, but why do they get all the praise and e...

If you’re feeling a new wave of soul fatigue, you don’t need more ideas of what to do during the pandemic this winter. Maybe what you need is space to simplify and take things off your plate. In this episode, Danette ignores her own advice about *not* babbling on about all the reasons why it’s been a while, offers gifts from concussion healing to help you consider slowing down even more than you t...