The Retro Breakdown

I forgot I watched Birdie Wing this week, so I completely derail a perfectly good Pokemon Puzzle League discussion to talk about this show that  is incredibly confused and wants to be some combination of mafia-driven Battle Golfer Yui and a school-life rom-com with strong lesbian energy. It's terrible and I love it. Other topics include a Cyberpunk 2077 post-mortem, being disqualified from to...

The discussion of Tecmo's successful-for-some-reason-and-immediately-forgotten-about Mighty Bomb Jack, surprisingly, has absolutely nothing at all to do with the the later discussion of throwing controllers, but both conversations do in fact happen. Also on tap is talk about Fire Emblem: Three Hopes, overwhelming amount of systems in Xenoblade Chronicles 2, and a weird chain of thoughts that goes...

Yes, this is the "All Your Base Are Belong to Us" game, and YES we talk about it and ABSOLUTELY YES we play the song. But boy, it sure is a good thing this game is remembered for something, because it is the most mediocre, "just okay" game we've played in a while. We also talk about the concept of the gaming "time vampire," Yuki Naka's weird pettiness, and the Metal Gear Rising SGDQ run controvers...

A last-minute swap brings us Target Earth, a game about mechs and stuff, I don't know. It's called Assault Suit Leynos in Japan, where it is the first in a series of games that has a very confusing naming convention. Other topics: EA still wants you to think single-player games are dead, Nintendo nearly misses their window to put out some games in June, SGDQ is over, and nobody remembers about Red...

What's next on Switch Online's Nintendo 64 service? We talk about the best and worst of what they could add, and which rights might be too expensive for them to bother. Somehow this leads us to talk about Charlie Blast's Territory, and the Army Men RTS. Other topics include the novelty of Switch Sports wearing thin, the Halo Juneteeth debacle, and what games could use more or less story. And then...

The new TMNT game is out, there's probably a new Nintendo Direct coming soon, and TW initially stopped at NieR ending A. Also, Kusogrande 7 has begun, and TW got a Top Gun game co-designed by Don Mattrick, which is hilarious. Meanwhile, Blaster Master is a fun game with problems that lays an interesting foundation but is far too concerned with wasting your time to fully deliver on it. It is, howev...

We have a lot of catching up to do! We recap what we've been playing for the last month, take two pieces of listener mail, and talk about Fire Emblem Heroes, Cedar Point (the amusement park), and what in the world "European Extreme" means. There's a lot. We talk about a lot for a long time. And then we talk about pinball. The NES game Pinball is the general focus of the podcast today, but also jus...

Jessi's back for another week, as we discuss some of the first games we bonded over in the early part of our relationship, including NBA Jam, Guitar Hero, and Persona 3. We also discuss the good and bad points of Nintendo Switch Sports, the Trials of Mana remake, and whether or not our hometowns had a Blockbuster Video in the 90s. We talk about the 90s a lot on this show, I realize, and I do not a...

I know it's probably not strictly "retro," but it's more than 10 years old, we'll take it! Anyway, Jessi ( @lavieclarinette ) is back to talk about her first-ever playthrough of Dark Souls!  We manage somehow to go the entire two hours not talking about Sif, but we DO talk about most of the bosses, some of her biggest trouble spots in the game, and also what a great season this has been for a...

VISUALSHOCK! SPEEDSHOCK! SOUNDSHOCK! NOW IS TIME TO THE 68000 HEART ON FIRE! Alien Soldier is a MASTERPIECE. In this episode I will excitedly explain why. Also, a better-late-than-never discussion of Square Enix selling most of its Western output, Tom brings a movie quote quiz to the table, and we discuss the mid-00's game industry. But seriously though, play Alien Soldier. Wow. Really wow. Send u...

This week we talk more about news that is hopelessly out-of-date, and a Nintendo Switch game about catching food Pokemon. I'm serious this is a real game we couldn't even make this up if we tried: https://www.play-asia.com/tabe-o-ja-for-nintendo-switch/13/70ej8r Meanwhile, Golden Axe sure is a product of its time, isn't it? It took me an embarrassingly long time to learn that his name is Ax Battle...

Because we definitely don't talk about Dragon Ball Z enough on this podcast, we have an excuse to do it again! Tom picked up Dragon Ball FighterZ, and so I had to ask him what the deal was with Goku Black, and we end up talking about Yamcha cheating in baseball. Also, we talk VR games that would be amazing with better VR technology, and Mappy Land somehow comes up again. Then we jump into our seco...

There's been a lot of Sega-related news lately, so we decided to hit all of it at once. Sonic Origins is coming out and the preorder chart looks ridiculous, Streets of Rage is getting a movie, and Jet Set Radio and Crazy Taxi are getting new games, but they might be awful? Also on tap is Ninja Gaiden and the Worlds of Power game novelizations from the 1990s that I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT. Send us an em...

This week, we talk about letting people enjoy things and not being a judgmental jerk just because people do things differently from you. This isn't brought on as some sort of passive-aggressive thing, it's just us reflecting on how we used to be less compassionate people. Also, Gachapons! Faygo! Nintendo Switch Sports! And two podcast games for the price of one, even though that price is "free" an...

We dive even deeper into the Treasure library to find what is maybe the LEAST "Treasure" game yet in Light Crusader. Also, Kingdom Hearts 4 gets announced, and people immediately determine the location, size, and price of Sora's apartment in Tokyo, because it's 2022 and that's just what people do now. Also-also, we do an awful lot of showing our age as we talk about a bygone relic known as "long d...

This week, we talk Vampire Survivors, and TW plugs in an old iPod from a thrift store for some reason. But nevermind all that, DOUBLE DRAGON 2 IS WILD WHAT IS UP WITH THIS GAME ACTUALLY Send us an email to read on the show! theretrobreakdown@gmail.com TW's Discord: https://discord.gg/dTrBruG Podcast games streamed live at: twitch.tv/timewanderer TW on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/timewanderer

Breath of the Wild is delayed to 2023, is it a sign of a new console launch? TW's been playing stuff in Mystery Fun Fest, where he learned that Fall Guys is somehow actually more fun now than at launch! Also, we talk about how annoying it is when you can tell advertising is successfully manipulating you. Literally the only reason we played Avenging Spirit is because of Tom digging up the ridiculou...

This week, Alex Zandra, aka Zandravandra , joins TW on the show to talk about the very first games she made as a teenager in the 90s, The Quantum Blade 1 and 2! These games were featured in Kusogrande 6, but they were very much worth talking about more because they are an absolute CELEBRATION of mid-90s indie games. So we get into talking the design ideas behind the game, the joy of starting and f...

There's a new Kirby game out this week, so we decided to go back to the game where he just turns into a wheel, instead of just stretching his skin over an entire car. Real talk, that new Kirby game seems fun, so maybe don't let the weirdness of the body deformity stuff turn you off - or do, it's your call. Also discussed: GPU prices are coming down, La-Mulana is still weird, and the current meme q...

So, it turns out Tom hasn't seen anything at all about Final Fantasy Origin: Stranger of Paradise. So if you would like to hear Tom's live reaction to the bizarre trailers starring main edgelord Jack Garland, that's here in this podcast! We've also got talk about Amazon Luna, sorta talking about the Sony State of Play, and finally getting into Sin and Punishment, a Treasure game which we now very...

This week, John Romero doesn't make anybody anything, because Kemco made this game. Welcome to the little-known Game Boy Color version of Daikatana, a completely different game from its infamous original! This is a downright playable Zelda-like that tries really hard to pull off the convoluted story beats of the original game, to hilarious effect. The North American release of Big Sword was cancel...

Before I forget, here's a link to the official source where you can hear the FANTASTIC tracks for this game recorded by Megan McDuffee, RichaadEB and DEMONDICE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzt65O3BsmY Anyway, Gabe Newell came out from his pile of money to let everyone know that crypto sucks, and it was glorious. Also, we talk HD-2D, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet, and PC Elden Ring problems (thoug...

This week we delve into the okayest game maybe ever on the podcast! Along the way, we talk about video game camping, Road Rash 64, and the director of Super Mario RPG's initial concept for the game, in which Mario rides a horse. Also, now accepting your votes for worst underwater area in video games! Oh, and we talk about Infernax a bit because it's more interesting than Joe and Mac. Send us an em...

In case last week's episode wasn't enough sports talk for you, TW puts way too much time into Retro Bowl and talks about it! Also, this week's extra-large episode involves a lightning-round discussion of the February 2022 Nintendo Direct, why Vine died but TikTok thrives, and the design problems of Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Then we talk a LOT about Banjo-Kazooie, a game that is awesome until it is...

It's time for SPORTSBALL, because Tom randomly bought me a handheld game console containing 7 different NES sports titles from Jaleco: Bases Loaded (1-4), Hoops, Goal!, and Racket Attack. So I demanded he play them as well and we do a podcast on ALL OF THEM. They're mostly terrible, with one ESPECIALLY bad one and some pleasant surprises (listen to the theme at the end of this episode - it's from...