The Relaxed Male V4V

What is actually  holding you back ? This is a question I ask often and for good reason because so many people focus on the wrong culprit. They think it is the thing in their life that is creating their pain. The Wife is making them mad. The kids are disappointing you. The promotion to that new position is because the boss is a jerk. None of these are the real reason why you are unhappy, unfulfill...

Many of us think we have huge insurmountable obstacles in our life. But do we really? Are the obstacles that are keeping you away from your goals and dreams really in your way? Are your problems as bad as you say? This week I wanted to challenge you on your thinking. You are telling yourself a huge lie in that you can't do something because of whatever the circumstance is. HOW? Well, I want to sho...

Visualize How would you be when you are successful Dress for success What would you have? act the part Won't that make you a fake? according to who? Their reactions to your success is a reflection of their shortcomings This gets your mind wrapped around what it will be like if you are successful If you were to just become successful overnight you mentally wouldn't know how to handle the pressure a...

Where you are at in your life? Are you struggling to find meaning or maybe no matter how hard you try you just aren't happy? This is a common problem for most men. They are sitting on the couch, their life is sort of Blah. Maybe you are wondering how in the heck you ended up in this predicament? You had so much fire when you were young and then life just took over. Now you are overweight. Watching...

The clothes make the man. Have you ever heard that phrase? Well, there are reasons that getting dressed is important for you and what you want to accomplish. Dressing up is one thing but how do you normally dress? That is the question. This doesn't mean you have to be at the pentacle of men's fashion. In fact, I question the fashion industry and how they are trying to femininize men. Men do have a...

Do you have an attitude problem? Where are you now Not getting anywhere You are broke no connection in your marriage Feel alone Do you want to stay that way? The effects of your attitude Not having any friends Failed business Marriage is failing You can make a simple change Pay attention to your attitude My story Why change the attitude You will see people act differently around you. People will s...

There are many ways you can build your community. There is the church, schools, civic organizations, your place of employment, and your neighborhood. You can find men who you would like to aspire to be like just about anywhere. And right off the bat let’s point that out. These men will rub off on you. The phrase, “ Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” fits. If you want to be success...

The start of the year is here. This is the time everybody talks about what their goals are, what they want to achieve, and how they plan on how they are achieving it. Why are goals important? Why do you want to even think of goals? IT seems that nobody actually completes their goals. Especially when it comes to New Years Resolutions People start with good intentions and then around March that fire...

What are traditions? They are the ideas and values passed down from generation to generation. They are customs and beliefs that bind a culture together. The raising of a Christmas tree during Christmas. The celebration of a new year. Your birthday is special. You brush your teeth with your eyes closed. All are traditions and rituals we do. We have rituals for everything and every occurrence. We ma...

There are changes happening in our society, and there are two groups of people who are involved. There are the people who realize they can do better and do something about it and then there are the ones who want to sit around and complain about the quality of their life and have stuff handed to them. Because of this, you have two different factions forming. There is the great resignation and then...

It doesn't have to be fixed As nice guys, we really hate having people not be at a certain level. If they are unhappy or upset for any reason, we feel we have to fix it. Even if people are having more fun and laughing beyond our comfort level, we have to find a way to fix the issue instead of just allowing people to be. Nice guys feel that they have to fix a problem out of the hopes that that pers...

We find ourselves stuck in so many situations and those circumstances are things that are beyond our control this is true. Yet there are so many times that we believe that stuck in that situation and so we either do nothing about it or complain about our situation. That feeling of being stuck and not being able to change is a part of the self-programming that we do. We are just bad at sports or we...

Well as this comes out it is Thanksgiving! Time for the family and friends to come together and talk and share in each other's lives for at least a day. Then again it could be you have family that is coming over for several days. We have grandma wondering when you are going to stop being the bachelor or maybe it is your mom who is hounding you to find a girl and settle down. Your Uncle is wanting...

As we talked last week on  episode 102  we looked at our circumstances and talked about how those circumstances are actually neutral. So with that where does all of our pain and suffering actually come from? That is actually what I wanted to examine this week. Where does the pain in your life come from if it isn't from the external forces in your life? This is where many people actually get a bit...

There have been a few events in all our lives these events or circumstances are always happening to us. These events can be seen as great and positive or they can be perceived as being disastrous and awful. I have had a few big events happen here recently. I have started certification in a coaching course that I have drooled over for several tears and the opportunity has finally presented itself....

I remember when I was young I was put out by the fact that I really wanted to be in a place of management yet I always had to start at the bottom. This feeling has gone on for many men for centuries. There are those who think they deserve to be in a higher position than where they are. They don't have the skills to even contemplate the amount of work that actually takes. Many workers only see that...

It is time to review I was thinking of what I could do for a 100 episode. I guess I could have really hyped it up and probably should. Was surprised by how fast it went. It feels as if I should be just now hitting episode 50, yet here we are at one hundred. I need to put myself out there more. I don’t step out and talk to people nearly as much as I need to. If I want the business of Relaxed Male t...

What is burnout Burnout is the loss of drive to do a particular task. Often the act of burning out isn't so much the problem as the effort we put in to try to push through that burnout. As a whole, it is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It happens when we become overwhelmed by the constant demands of a task. This often happens in an office scenario. Where the team is pushing...

Men need violence in their lives. For today's society that sounds almost scary. What! See this is toxic masculinity at its core! Men need to be removed from all of society because they are advocating everything violent. All the wars are fought because of men. Crimes are committed because of men. Well, this isn't exactly the case but the saying, Hard times make strong men strong men make good times...

What are standards? Your standard is a level of quality you accept. Too many people tolerate things below their claimed standards. Maybe it is the incompetence of a co-worker. Your spouses infidelity Examples of low level standards Poor health Over weight Relationships The quality of your friends marriage quality Work relations Career the Level of your income Being skipped over for promotions Why...

If you have heard any other episodes or read any of my blog posts you know that I am not a fan of people who are victims. I often say, and rightfully so, victims are not respected because they dont earn anybodies respect. If that is the case then why do so many people turn to the victim mindset? Then you look at todays society and you see people parading around screaming about how they are victims...

You have heard of the Laws of attraction right? Some folks don't buy the whole laws of attraction they say it is only skill and discipline. These are the people who also believe that there are times that a person can get lucky. Well, I came across a guy in history who without realizing it applied the laws of attraction and achieved his wants and desires. This guy's name is Timothy Dexter. What is...

There is one thing women absolutely hate and that is the one thing society has pushed on men. The Nice Guy. Ever since the industrial revolution men have been raised by their mothers. Dads leave to go to the factory and come home at the end of the day. They may get weekends with them but that's not a guarantee. Now because of this, we have been getting more and more nice guys showing up in the wor...

What does it mean when you are broken. Feeling a sense of no hope Beaten Whooped upon Feel like you need to just give up. Feel that you can't give any more Feel lost. How do you get back up? Understand what you are actually feeling. This is when you need that little extra push to get yourself past that sensation. That feeling of being broken often means that you are right at the cusp of a huge bre...

When it comes to events in your life we have to take into consideration what you are starting with. Many times as men get frustrated with the lack of results that we get when we try something. The problem is what are you starting with? The meaning is this, guys, we want instant results. Many people grow frustrated with our jobs when we just started, we wonder why we are not higher up in the echelo...