The Really Awful Movies Podcast

A truly baffling exposition-fest, coming-of-age, caveman /cannibal curse/vampire movie, Don’t Gear Near the Park is one of the more odd cinematic experiences one can have in the realm of horror. It fulfilled two criteria for review on this site: a) it was a Video Nasty, and b) it had “don’t” in the title, a subset of films one of us refers to as “admonition movies.&#8...

Solarbabies . A box office mega-bomb that burned out in the 80s, but which we hope to revive today, so that modern audiences can warm to its cheesy (and multi-faceted) pleasures. Made on a budget of 26-27 million, this made back a mere smidgen of that, at best. And it was critically lambasted almost universally. However, it’s a future wasteland / post-apocalyptic movie. And we’re all a...

The Stepfather is a unique horror / thriller, featuring an amazing performance by Terry O’Quinn. On this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, a discussion of the long-lasting appeal of The Stepfather, how we came to have it cross our radar, and the phenomenon of depicting divorce and blended families on television in the 1980s. The film, directed by Joseph Ruben (who most will know fr...

Whoa. 2008’s The Love Guru , pretty much sank Mike Myers. And that’s a DAMN shame. It’s a terrible movie, to be sure, but a terrific comedic talent like Myers, deserves another shot. Despite supporting cast-mates like Justin Timberlake, Stephen Colbert, Jim Gaffigan, John Oliver and Sir Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru really lays a big-time egg. This is a monumental stinker, and whil...

With the passing of George Romero, on this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, we look back at the famous horror film director, and examine a real classic from his oeuvre: Martin . “He could be the boy next door,” is the tagline, and this “boy” (played by John Amplas) is en route by train from Indianapolis to Pittsburgh, where he is put under the care of great uncle...

The Amityville Horror  has spawned a seemingly countless number of both sequels and imitators. All the stuff we’ve come to expect from the genre is here: the devil, cat scares, warnings, strange doings, a wigged out pet, creepy dolls, the works… The 1979 American supernatural horror film, directed by Stuart Rosenberg (who is best known for Cool Hand Luke), is based on Jay Anson’s...

On today’s episode, a journey to the Valley of the Sun…”death” valley, as it were in this serviceable, yet flawed remake of the Wes Craven classic, The Hills Have Eyes . In this 2006 flick, Alexandre Aja is behind the camera lens (he of, the new-wave French classic, Haute Tension and Piranha 3D). And we get a little preamble featuring some nuclear scientists in hazmat suits...

It’s a rite of passage for many North American kids: being sent to summer camp. In the late 70s, early 80s, a spate of summer camp movies came out, usually with some maniac hell-bent on murdering counselors. However in Meatballs , we venture into uncharted territory on the Really Awful Movies Podcast, as this is our first “raunchy teen comedy.” No body count. Both of us attended...

Conan the Barbarian is a sword and sandals epic, which meant a lot to us as youngsters. Ergo, we have to visit it (or revisit it) for the Really Awful Movies Podcast. The 1982 American fantasy adventure film was directed and co-written by John Milius (and co-written by legendary crank Oliver Stone). The adventure is based on stories by Robert E. Howard, a 1930s pulp fiction writer. The novel chron...

This puts the sucking in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka? Anyway, here’s a terrific African American vampire movie…a portmanteau of black and Dracula (obviously). And that movie is: Blacula . The flick stars the imposing, booming-voiced actor, William Marshall (a Bard-trained theater guy brings great gravitas to the role of The Count. . He plays an 18th-century African prince named Mamuw...

The phrase “human highlight reel” is pretty shopworn. In the world of sports, it’s used for the one-namers, your LeBron, Kobe, Jordan, etc. Jackie Chan DEFINITELY qualifies, albeit in a different medium. And here, Drunken Master (1978) is a showcase for all his wild, over-the-top, ground-breaking antics. Whether you like it or not, this film put comedy kung fu on the map. It&#821...

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most f-ed up of them all? On this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, a discussion of the long-time coming, plagued Andrew Getty-directed/written production, The Evil Within . The Evil Within came and went in 2017. However, it did generate media coverage. Just not the good kind. The Guardian weighed in on the production of the film, some 15 years...

In a world…where a gruesome blood sport placates a docile public…That’s the milieu of Rollerball , a Norman Jewison-directed, James Caan-starring 70s dystopian hit. Houston is the best team on the planet, led by crafty veteran uh, “rollerballer” Jonathan E (played by Caan). Globalism is the order of the day, and the New World Order includes corporations ruling the wor...

Charitably listed as a “comedy” on IMDb, the laughs are always unintentional in the horrific, From Justin to Kelly . And the synopsis is thus: “A waitress from Texas and a college student from Pennsylvania (‘the Pennsylvania Posse’, a group that includes the fro-ed Justin Guarini) meet during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and come together through their sha...

Pin (also known as Pin: A Plastic Nightmare ) is a 1988 Canadian-made horror film released in 1988 that many people haven’t seen. Directed by Sandor Stern and starring David Hewlett, Cynthia Preston and Terry O’Quinn, the unconventional psychological thriller is based on the novel of the same name by Andrew Neiderman. Pin went the direct-to-video route, released in the United States on...

On this special episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast…two movies “inspired” by the great JAWS, The Car and Grizzly . We’re gonna need a bigger boat…and we’re going to need a special guest too. We decided to bring back one of our favorite people in the horror community, a gentleman and a scholar,  Scott Drebit from Daily Dead (who’s previously joined u...

Nightmare is also known in some circles as Nightmares in a Damaged Brain . It’s a 1981 horror film, made during the height of the slasher boom, and seems to have been forgotten amidst all the titles that were being churned out during the period. Directed by Romano Scavolini, the lurid low-budget affair gained instead street cred when it was added to the Video Nasty list in the UK, and its di...

Elvis Presley. The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Here he is, or was, at near the peak of his powers (or just about to level off) in one of the many, many terrible movies he appeared in, FUN IN ACAPULCO. The massive pop culture icon plays Mike, a former member of a flying trapeze circus act, who finds himself lost in…Acapulco, and needing to find work to make ends meet. Jeez, that old ya...

The Sentinel is a 1977 American horror film based on the 1974 novel of the same name (which we haven’t read). The source material is courtesy of author Jeffrey Konvitz (who assisted penning the screenplay). His co-writer was the film’s director Michael Winner. Winner wowed us with, if you’ll excuse us, a real “winner” in the Death Wish Series. That one is pretty darn...

Don’t Look in the Basement , aka, The Forgotten, is a 1973 independent horror, shot on a shoe-string budget. The film is set on the secluded grounds of Stephens Sanitarium, an insane asylum that’s considerably understaffed. Its chief psychiatrist (Dr. Stephens) employs treatment methods which are not altogether useful. One of the patients (known as “Judge”) hacks the good d...

Train to Busan is a 2016 South Korean zombie apocalypse action thriller that has achieved considerable acclaim. It’s directed by Yeon Sang-ho and stars Gong Yoo, Jung Yu-mi, and Ma Dong-seok. Train to Busan takes place on a passenger train to the large South Korean city of Busan, just as a zombie apocalypse is afoot. As if a daily commute wasn’t bad enough? A young dad is accompanying...

The Giant Gila Monster is not only a 1959 monster movie, there’s a sci fi component too. And hell, it’s a hot rod juvenile delinquent flick too. The Giant Gila Monster was directed by Ray Kellogg and produced by Ken Curtis. It’s a decidedly low-budget affair, meant to be an accompaniment to the equally less-than-spectacular The Killer Shrews (another Ken Curtis production), a fil...

Technology and horror. And where these intersect. It’s interesting subject matter, whether it’s ghost hunters trying to record evidence of supernatural beings, or new technologies that are changing the way we communicate with one another through an online interface. Kevin Chabot is currently a Ph. D. student in Cinema Studies at the University of Toronto. He earned a Master’s deg...

A thematic sequel to the legendary Italian horror Suspiria (1977), Inferno  is the second part of Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy. The long-delayed concluding entry, The Mother of Tears, was released in 2007, and one of us caught it at the Toronto International Film Festival. All three films are partially derived from the concept of “Our Ladies of Sorrow” (Mater Lachrymarum...

Its reputation precedes it. But does Plan 9 from Outer Space (original title Grave Robbers from Outer Space) deserve all the derogation? Some say it is the worst film ever made. This is patently false. We’d go to our graves (speaking of robbing them), saying Dana Carvey’s The Master of Disguise is worse. Plan 9 is a 1959 independently made American black-and-white science fiction-horro...