The Real Question

Allie started running casually in college and has gotten more and more into it over the years. She joined a running club, she ran her first marathon, and she bought herself a fitness watch. But recently her fitness watch has been stressing her out. Is it the fitness watch that’s the problem? Or is it her relationship to running more broadly?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Allie expl...

Every time Mars has a period they think about getting their uterus taken out. They hate having this dumb organ in their body! But doesn't everyone hate their period? And what if they want to have kids in the future? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Mars explore how we relate to our own bodies. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it...

We're taking one more week off of regular programming, but we'll be back next week on June 19th. In the meantime, please enjoy this un-locked Patreon perk, our Should Vanessa Quit? segment with Vanessa and Ariana. Our Patreon supporters make this show possible and we're so grateful. If you're a regular listener of the show, we'd love to have your support . Also, please submit your quitting questio...

As we prepare for our Not Sorry C.A.M.P. this week , we're taking a break from the show. We'll be back in two weeks, on June 19th. In the meantime, please enjoy this un-locked Patreon perk, our Pop Culture Prescriptions with Vanessa and Margaret H. Willison. Our Patreon supporters make this show possible and we're so grateful. If you're a regular listener of the show, we'd love to have your suppor...

Ely knows that vaping is bad for her, but she can't seem to find the motivation to stop. Is it okay to indulge certain vices? Or is that logic just the way that addiction works? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Ely explore our own self-destructive instincts. In this episode, Ely mentions her experience with AA. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, there are AA meetings h...

Margaret is a very sociable person – everywhere she goes, she finds new people to be friends with. But with that list ever-expanding, she feels like she's not serving her existing friendships as well as she'd like. Should she stop making new friends? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Margaret explore when it's okay to disappoint the people you love. -- This show is completely funded by...

Heather Havrilesky is the voice behind the popular existential advice column, Ask Polly . This week she joins Vanessa to talk about giving advice, when to quit, and how to better be "your ragged-ass bullshit self." -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chipping in ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...

Courtney loves posting photos of her kids on instagram – she loves scrolling back and seeing all the small moments captured, she loves being able to share those moments with family and friends. But her kids are young enough that they can't truly consent to the photos, and she worries that when they grow up, they won't approve of what has been shared. This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Courtne...

Chris Stedman gets stuck scrolling Twitter at night. He knows why he does it – it makes him feel in control, it soothes his anxiety. But should he be sitting in that anxiety instead of soothing it? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Chris explore our relationship to social media and how to counter perfectionism. Be sure to check out Chris's latest book, IRL: Finding Our Real Selves in a Digit...

Taylor gets sucked into looking at houses on Zillow. It's addictive! Comparing prices, imagining her life in different places... But is that imagining good for her? Or is it keeping her from appreciating the life she has? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Taylor explore when it's okay to plan for the future at the expense of living in the present. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon...

Julia Argy, our incredible pilgrimage director has her first book out today! It's called The One , and it's about a woman who joins a reality television show to find love. Publishers Weekly says it best: “[A] smart debut…Argy takes on voyeurism, feminism, and gender norms, as Emily wonders if she really ought to put all her energy into finding love, which is what she was conditioned to do all her...

Brigid has gotten into the habit of telling white lies. It's a defense mechanism to feel in control of what people know and think about her. But is being so in control actually bad for her sense of self? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Brigid explore how to stop caring what other people think about you. Did Brigid's question resonate with you? Submit something you respect about yourself an...

During the pandemic, Brooke signed up for an online yoga subscription. Does she ever use it? No. Can she get herself to cancel it? Also no.  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Brooke discuss the psychological burden of our digital lives.  -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so grateful to our supporters who make it possible. If you can, please considering chippi...

Hannah has lived in Chicago for the past seven years. She never really wanted to live there long-term, but now she's having trouble leaving. Her family and all her friends are in Chicago! She has a really good life there. Would it be a mistake to start over somewhere else? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Hannah discuss when to leave behind good things. -- This show is completely funded by...

Katie has written a novel. She worked hard on it and she thinks it's good, but the process of trying to get it published has been grueling. Should she just keep going? Or is it time to set the book aside? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Katie explore what it means to feel rejected and how much of that we each can tolerate. -- This show is completely funded by Patreon, and we are so gratefu...

Lisa has been a choir nerd for basically her whole life. But recently, with two young kids, she can barely stay awake for the rehearsals. Should she give it up to get more sleep? Or is this just a rough patch, and she’ll be glad she made it through the other side? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lisa discuss how to keep a sense of self while being a mom.  -- This show is completely fu...

Emily loves her boyfriend. There’s not enough good things to say about him: He’s kind and attentive and easy to be around. But she’s always wanted to be a mom, and he’s not so sure about kids. Can she stay with him, even if they don’t have kids? Or is that a dealbreaker?  This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Emily discuss how to get what you want from a relationship without giving an ultim...

When Cameron joined the disability advocacy club during his first year of college, it became a huge part of his life. Now a junior, he's the club president, and being president opens a lot of doors campus-wide. The only the problem is – no one is really coming to the club meetings. Should he singlehandedly try to keep it running? Or is time to let it die? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa a...

Sami has been practicing the same style of Karate for 20 years; it’s a huge part of her identity. But a recent conflict with her Sensei has thrown her relationship with the sport up in the air. Can she go back to her dojo, knowing that things with her Sensei will never feel the same? This week of Should I Quit? Vanessa and Sami discuss how one person can turn a good situation into a bad one....

Rin wants a life partner, but they’ve never felt romantically attracted to someone before. Should they keep dating, hoping that they’ll find the right person? Or is it time to give up on conventional love tropes and pursue another path? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Rin discuss how to build partnership outside of society’s norms.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon w...

Lacy has been a teacher for fifteen year, and like many teacher’s right now, she’s feeling overwhelmed. School doesn’t feel the same as it did pre-pandemic. She feels pulled in a million directions, and out of hope. Is it time to quit teaching? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Lacy discuss how much to sacrifice for a job you care about.  -- We are so grateful to our supporters on Patre...

About a year and a half ago, Fran got sick. Since then, she’s been focused on getting a diagnosis and then trying to get better. But the kind of chronic illness she has – sometimes you don’t get better. Should she keep trying to get ‘back to normal’? Or it is time to come to terms with her life as it is?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Fran discuss how to integrate a new version...

When Cheyanne was twenty-three years old she made a rule: no long distance relationships. They just set you up for heartbreak! Every time she fell for someone far away, she stuck by her trusty rule. But now, nearly six years later and single, she finds herself questioning it. Is the rule keeping her from finding the right person?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cheyanne explore what...

Jaime loves birds. Since they were eight years old they’ve wanted a career in bird science, and so far they’ve been living that dream! But a recently discovered chronic illness has been making the work more difficult. Is it time to move on from their life’s big passion?  This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Jaime discuss how our dumb bodies get in the way of what we love. -- We are so grat...

Cari has been dreading going to church. In theory, she likes so much about the community. But lately, she’s been resenting her obligations there. Is this just a rut? Or is it time to move on? This week on Should I Quit? Vanessa and Cari discuss the challenges associated with being in community.  If you’re interested in signing up for the Nearness, the next online six-week journey st...