THE QUACK

"As I ate my plant-based scone, I heard that luring voice coming from an ovary. “You can throw an afternoon tea party too…if you just use one of us."   When you're single, 32, and at your friend's baby shower...   SKIP INTRO 2:05

Cats have mastered the subtle art of not giving a f***.    Last week I looked after Enzo...This is the story of how I went a little crazy. 

When Hermione opened her egg sandwich on the Eurostar, I was reminded of why I don't do group holidays.   A story about a girls' trip to Amsterdam. (Skip Intro 2:08)

If the partner’s number is higher than the other, then they get their way...   A discussion with Sex Ed Tom about relationship strategies...

Gran Pat was dragged from her gin and crossword to do the judging. She moved from castle to castle, whilst smoking a cigarette.   A childhood memory of when my grandmother judged the family sandcastle competition in Cornwall. 

“Everyone always forgets the tzatziki,” Oliver said, very proud of himself.   This week it's Hermione's 32nd birthday, and under the grey sky in a field, we talk about our names. Does Oliver suit being an Ollie? Have Millennial parents gone too far with the unique names? Should I call myself MA MA?

During this week away, you discover things about your partner that can only be exposed in such circumstances, like airport security.     A look into the types of couple holidays, and where it can all go wrong.

I knew, even with my eyes closed, he was attempting to build the John Lewis trolley.  “Leave it! I will do it when I can see again!” I shouted from the bed.   A face palm true story about the weekend I was recovering from laser eye surgery. 

I think it's time to MUTE... AND...ARCHIVE....   This week we're laughing at the dating advice and game plans that are offered in the locker room.

"Snow, why aren't you whistling when you work anymore?"    Here is a quick look into what really happened to those Disney marriages...    

I was lured into Catholicism as a child by the promise of pick-and-mix at the end of Sunday Mass.    A story about my catholic childhood and my first confession.

If I wanted to play Where’s Wally, I would buy a Where’s Wally book... Today’s Quack looks into the 5 mistakes women make when trying to attract a mate on Hinge.

It never occurred to me that I would live by myself again...   A little thought. As more of us choose to settle down later, can we adapt to having someone else in our space? To read the blog post visit, TheOxfordQuack. Blog   Music credit: Sound Stripe. EILOH_Cool_instrumental & Shimmer_West_instrumental

A man posted a video of himself jumping out on his mate. Classic, amusing move. Will it get you laid? No.   Three common ways men go wrong when trying to attract women on Hinge.

So, there we were, old as hell, with a threatening net of balloons above our heads, and Backstreet Boys blasting out.   A story (and a review), about my sober night in one of London's most infamous clubs.

"Take a man who says he really really loves cycling…"   A quick thought about the role hobbies play in a relationship. Should you have the same hobby, or stay far away from each other's pursuits?

"...then I’m replaceable with another, Blonde-Avocado-Toast-Munching-30-Something-Year-Old...."   Has the disposable nature of dating apps made it too easy to get the ick?

Sponsor Stu, he’s going to run three marathons in one day with a wasp nest on his head.   A quick observation into marathons. 

"Each night they would emerge red-eyed at the dinner table, once with a confession that one of them had vomited on the side of the ship."   A true story about an awkward teenager on her last family holiday.

“Now the trick is to not overthink it..."   An observation of the first two weeks on the dating app, Hinge.   Music: EILOH Cool instrumental / soundstripe.com

When it was my turn to balance the five plates, all the plastic carrots rolled off onto the floor.    This a story about the time I was an events waitress in London.

At the end of the day, cars are just lumps of steel bent in different ways.   An observation about cars, and why they are not so great.  

Oh, that’s nice, you think, and then go back to plucking your toe hair.   A shallow dive into the highlights of living a single life.  Read it here TheOxfordQuack. Blog  

"At that moment I wanted to run out of the pub, out of Soho, and jump into the Thames...."   A short (embarrassing) story about a dad and daughter in Soho.

 “Excuse me Sir, I think you’ll find this is my seat...”    You can be the most prepared traveller but can't prepare for the passanger you are sitting next to....