THE QUACK

"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..."   This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies.    Skip Introduction | 2:27 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack. Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com    

"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..."    I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing.   Skip Introduction | 2:05 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | TheQuack.blog  

“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. 🧀   It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat....   Skip Introduction | 1:38 Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrite Read | TheQuack. Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"I was biting into my vegetable kebab when I received a message from the Hinge bloke. I read the top line and rolled my eyes..."   It's been over a year since I've been on Hinge, but I'm now back on the dating horse. This is the story of my first online dating experience of 2025.    Skip Introduction | 1:50 Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"I did wonder, as I was walking around the Eiffel Tower in a red dress, whether, perhaps, I had watched too many movies..."   This week on The Quack, I reflect on the face-palm moments from my recent girls' trip to France. Includes a desperate scene of me trying to create a romantic moment by the Eiffel Tower, a game of charades with the Airbnb host, and an AI song about tariffs.   Skip Introducti...

"3 days into the challenge, I realised I wasn't the dazzling compliment giver I originally thought I was."   For Lent, instead of giving up cherry cola Tic-Tacs, I challenged myself to compliment 40 strangers in 40 days. Today, I have the results of how it went. (Not well).   Thank you for continuing to support. I have a few deadlines coming up, and so for now, The Quack will be coming out once a...

"Have sex with them. I find they stop laughing at your jokes once they've seen your nipples."   The sun is out, and couples are uncuffing, ready for their hot single summer. As an expert singleton, I have a few tips to share...   Skip Introduction | 2:22 Visit | TheQuack. Blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"Are you literally carrying around a focaccia?” Last Thursday night, I went out with my science friends. It was a typical night for any friendship group in their 30s, except (as this is The Quack) there were some face-palm moments.    Skip Introduction | 1:28 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack. Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com If you're in London, you must watch News Revue | Link here  

"I watched with astonishment as boys clumsily worked out that the humour which impressed their mates wasn't necessarily the humour that impressed us girls..."   As it was April Fool's this week, I thought I would explore the differences in humour between men and women, particularly when pranking.   Skip Introduction | 2:01 Follow me on the Gram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | The Quack Sound | Sounds...

"Like reaching for a diet book when you’re unsatisfied with your body, I leaned into self-help because I was frustrated with my personality."   This week's muddled observation is about the self-improvement industry and how I used it during my quatre-life crisis.    Skip Introduction | 3:13 Follow Me on Instagram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit Me | THEQUACK.BLOG Sound | Soundstripe.com     Sources http...

“Let me show you something that will make your ovaries twerk.”   This week on The Quack, I contemplate motherhood and whether it is right for me after being traumatised by my 90's singing doll. Also, I take the time to admire the hot dads of the world.    🎈 HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO AUDIO QUACK 🎈   Skip Intro | 2:21 Follow me on IG @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit and subscribe to The Quack Blog Sound credi...

"I bought a horse in a car park!" Dad texted.   It's Cheltenham Festival! I will not be going, but my Dad certainly is. This week is about being an outsider of a horse racing family, and witnessing a hobby that gets out of hand....🏇   The Guardian article |  https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2011/dec/30/tony-mccoy-fractured-ribs-taunton Visit The Quack | www. TheQuack.blog Follow me on IG | www....

Nobody wants to be the heavy-breathing stalker who whispers to someone, "You have nice long spine."    Today's Quack is a muddled observation about complimenting strangers...and why we avoid it.    Vist | TheQuack.blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com    

If it wasn’t tricky enough to try and lure a man away from his life of freedom, football, mates and Camden Hells, try adding a brace.   This week on The Quack is about the trauma of wearing braces as a teenager, and again as a single woman in her thirties.   Follow IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com    

“DON'T YOU DARE SAY JUST. THAT’S THE WOMAN’S CURSE WORD. IT’S JUST…. IT’S JUST...”   This week in the Quack, I tell the story of doing a home makeover and all the characters I met, from the Hang Man to the angry sofa man.    Skip Intro | 1:38 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow me | @MaryNenwhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog 

“I can’t stay any longer. I’m sorry, it’s just not my cup of tea!”    This week on The Quack, I reflect on all the times audience members (including myself) have not behaved in the theatre.   Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read Here | TheQuack. Blog Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com  

"I had a striped shirt on because I thought that's what people wore to offices..."   In today's Quack, I reflect on the years when I was building up my CV with work experiences...Some experiences were better than others.    Read and see photos  | TheQuack.blog Skip Introduction | 1:55 Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Follow me on The Gram | @MARYNEWNHAMWRITES  

“You want him to have the pick of the bunch, but he picks you,” Sausage said, waving her fork in the air.  Four school friends have brunch and discuss being single in their thirties.  Skip Introduction | 1:35 Visit| TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com

🎶Oh, look what I have…. another emotionally unavailable man. 🎶   A passion for musical theatre but without the talent. This week on The Quack, Sex-Ed Tom and I go to see the musical Titanique. And it brings back memories of when I dropped out of theatre school...

She can list the names of Farrow & Ball paints as if they were her nephews and nieces... This week on The Quack, I'm decorating my bathroom with Hermione. 👯‍♀️But will my interior designer mum approve of the colour? 🎨👩 Find me on TikTok @MaryNewnham for an attempted ‘before and after’ time-lapse video Skip Introduction | 1:35 Blog | www. TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someone’s shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight." Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen.  Skip Introduction | 1: 54 Visit | www. TheQuack. Blog Sounds & music  | Soundstripe.com

"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol."    Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober.     Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read The Quack | Www. TheQuack.blog Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Ann...

"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree."   This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey.    Skip Introduction | 1:38 Visit | www. TheQuack. Blog Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Contact | Mary@thequack.blog

"I’m relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces."   This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self.   Skip Introduction | 3:05 Visit | www.thequack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

 If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street.   The Christmas season is here! 🎄 Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party.   Skip Introduction | 1:45 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The...