The Psychology of Us

In this thought-provoking episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr unpacks a deceptively simple statement by spiritual teacher Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj: “In my world, nothing ever goes wrong.” Blending timeless philosophy with cutting-edge cognitive psychology, Professor Starr explores how our perception—not the event itself—shapes emotional experience. Drawing from cognitive appraisal...

Why do we fear being left out? What makes rejection feel so deeply personal? The Psychology of Us dives into the emotional terrain we all navigate—unpacking the unseen forces that shape how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr, a leading voice in human behavior and emotional insight, explores the complex world of Rejection Sensitivity and the Fear of Being Left Out . Bl...

Why do some people take pleasure in mocking others when they’re in distress? Why is public ridicule so normalized in sports, politics, and online spaces? In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the deep psychological forces behind mockery, from cognitive biases and emotional deficiencies to social reinforcement and the illusion of superiority. Mockery is often mistake...

When All You Can Do Is Bear Witness: The Quiet Power of Staying Present in a Hurting World In a world obsessed with action, results, and performance, what happens when all you can do is feel ? What if you’re not the one who rushes in—but the one who stands quietly, allowing yourself to be moved? This episode explores the sacred emotional power of bearing witness —a psychological and deeply human a...

In this transformative episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr dismantles one of the most deeply ingrained myths in modern culture—the idea that you must "find yourself" to live authentically. Through the lens of developmental psychology and existential thought, Starr reveals why the search for a preexisting self often leaves us stuck, disillusioned, and passive. Instead, he...

Why does waiting feel so unbearable? What’s happening in our minds when we’re stuck in traffic, refreshing an email inbox, or counting down the days to a big event? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of patience and impatience, diving into the neuroscience of dopamine and delayed gratification, the role of time perception and cognitive biases, and how modern society has re...

Anywhere But Here: Longing, Escape, and the Myth of Arrival is a deeply reflective episode exploring the psychological and emotional complexity behind our desire to be somewhere else—somewhere quieter, freer, better aligned with who we imagine ourselves to be. Drawing from personal insight and psychological theory, this episode unpacks the real meaning behind the phrase “anywhere but here,” and wh...

This is a spoken narration of my essay titled You Can’t Light the Fire and Then Complain About the Heat: The Psychology of Regret, Denial, and Self-Inflicted Harm. If you’d like to read along: https://medium.com/@ProfRJStarr/the-psychology-of-denial-in-a-crumbling-america-25f593bb285b. ____________________ In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr examines a widespread and deepl...

The Psychology of Self-Preservation: Understanding Silence in Leadership and Everyday Life What makes a person look the other way when truth is being trampled? Why do institutions, especially those tasked with protecting the public good, so often go quiet when their voices are needed most? And more importantly—what does that have to do with the rest of us? In this compelling episode of The Psychol...

Have you ever tried to quit a habit only to find yourself indulging in it even more before finally letting go? Or ignored someone’s message, only to receive a flood of follow-ups? Welcome to the world of extinction bursts —the brain’s last-ditch effort to hold onto old patterns before they fade away. In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the fascinating psychologica...

"The lack of emotional intelligence represented by the American populace in this thread was staggering." -------- What happens when a nation confuses outrage with strength, and cruelty with conviction? In this powerful, special-edition episode, Professor RJ Starr examines the emotional and psychological collapse unfolding in our public discourse. From the comment sections of embassy post...

We are drowning in information but starving for understanding. In today’s fast-paced digital world, we consume knowledge in bite-sized pieces—quick summaries, viral TikToks, catchy headlines—believing we’ve grasped the full picture. But have we? In this episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr, we break down the illusion of understanding —why we think we know more than we do, how so...

Why do you do what you do? Why do you think the way you think, speak the way you speak, or spend your time the way you do? In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the deep psychological forces that shape our motivations—often without our awareness. From intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation (Deci & Ryan, 1985) to the role of cognitive dissonance (Festinger, 1957) and...

Why does it feel harder than ever to focus? Why do we skim articles, half-watch videos, and multitask endlessly without truly absorbing anything? In this episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr , we explore the psychological reasons behind our shrinking attention spans and how the modern world is shaping the way we think, learn, and connect. From Cognitive Load Theory to the Zeigar...

Why do people hold onto beliefs with absolute certainty, even without evidence? What makes us trust misinformation, conspiracy theories, or deeply ingrained ideas that defy logic? In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the fascinating psychology behind belief—how our minds form, defend, and reinforce ideas, even in the face of contradictory facts. This episode breaks...

Bullying is more than just schoolyard cruelty—it’s a social and psychological phenomenon that follows us into adulthood, shaping self-perception, relationships, and even workplace dynamics. In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology behind bullying: Why do people bully? Why do some individuals become targets? And why do bystanders so often stay silent? Dra...

Why do we lie, even when the truth seems simpler? In this episode, we explore the psychology of dishonesty—what drives people to deceive, how the brain processes lying, and why some lies feel justified while others carry lasting consequences. From small white lies to elaborate fabrications, dishonesty is a universal human behavior shaped by survival instincts, social pressures, and personal fears....

In this episode of The Psychology of Us, Professor RJ Starr explores one of the most pervasive feelings in modern life: the fear of missing out, or FOMO. While FOMO may feel like a recent phenomenon driven by social media, its roots go much deeper, stemming from our innate need for connection and belonging. Through a blend of psychological theory and personal anecdotes, Professor Starr delves into...

Overthinking—it’s something we’ve all experienced, but why does it happen? And more importantly, how can we break free from it? In this episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr , we take a deep dive into the psychology of overthinking. We’ll explore why our minds get caught in endless loops of rumination and worry, how anxiety and perfectionism fuel the cycle, and the emotional and...

Welcome to The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr , the podcast that explores the hidden forces shaping human thought, behavior, and society. In this episode, The Psychology of Censorship and Control, we uncover how censorship isn't just about banning books or silencing speech, it’s about shaping minds, controlling narratives, and influencing what people believe is true. Drawing from psy...

In a world that never stops talking, what happens when we choose to step away? In this episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr , we explore eremitism —the act of withdrawing from society for solitude, self-reflection, and personal growth. Why do some people seek solitude while others fear it? What happens to the mind when we spend extended time alone? And in an age of constant digi...

Why do we lose our cool? What’s really happening beneath the surface when anger takes hold? In this episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr, we dive deep into the psychology of anger—where it comes from, what it’s trying to tell us, and how we can manage it in healthier, more constructive ways. Anger is often misunderstood. It’s not just an explosive reaction—it’s a complex emotion...

Why do certain people and behaviors get under our skin? In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr unpacks the fascinating psychology behind irritation. From the biological roots of annoyance to the cognitive biases that amplify minor frustrations, we explore why some things bother us more than others. You’ll learn how irritation serves as an emotional signal, revealing deeper tr...

This podcast episode is a gift to my psych students, and to all students around the world. Enjoy! Midterm exams can feel overwhelming, but understanding the psychology behind stress can help you stay focused, motivated, and prepared. In this episode, psychology professor RJ Starr explores the science of stress and performance , breaking down the Yerkes-Dodson law to explain why a little anxiety ca...

In this episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the profound impact of focusing on your values and how they shape every aspect of your life. Why do some decisions feel effortless while others leave you conflicted? Why do people sometimes feel lost, even when they appear successful? The answer often lies in whether we are truly aligned with our core values. Drawing from psycho...